Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Holiday schedule

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 83 Replies
My husband and I just had our fifth child. Every year on the holidays we celebrate with my family for lunch whether it be Thanksgiving or Christmas. My mom and I take turns hosting. Then we go over to my in-laws house. My in-laws have a whole bunch of family over and it is nice but we have found that we spend so much time traveling to get to holidays especially on the holidays where my mom hosts that it's no longer enjoyable. My husband and I have decided that from here on out we are hosting a celebration at our house. Any of our parents, grandparents, siblings nieces or nephews are welcome to attend but we are not leaving our house on the holidays.

My mom is absolutely fine with this idea as is my sister-in-law. My sister-in-law is a wonderful person and she is very smart and has a great career but she's not very domestic. She has never liked the idea of Hosting holidays anyway and my mom is perfectly happy to not have to host anymore.

My inlaws are upset because they always host a large get together with all of their family and they want us to come. We said that there's no reason they can't come over to our house for lunch and still host their get together but they said that they spend all day cooking. They think that we are obligated to come over to their house on the holidays and expecting them to come to our house it's disrespectful. Maybe it's a cultural thing my husband thinks it might be. They are Filipino but my husband I was raised in the United States and is very Americanized.
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 23, 2017 at 8:54 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 23, 2017 at 8:54 AM
Bump has anyone else decided to stop going over to other peoples houses on the holidays? How did other people react?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 23, 2017 at 8:56 AM

So wait, it's been done a certain way for many years now and because you have decided you don't want to go anymore , they should change everything ?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 23, 2017 at 8:58 AM
Idk about cultural lol. My family and dh' s family are just regular old american at this point lol and the shit storm that would occur if we did what your doing would make the North Korean situation look like a little misunderstanding 😂😂😱😱😫😫.

I think it's great your taking back the holidays... wish I could be strong enough but every year dh and I chicken out because 24 hours of our misery seems worth it vs 365 days of torture!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 23, 2017 at 8:59 AM
I have no extended family around, so we can't go to their house unless we travel about 14 hours. I would love to be close enough to go to their house for the evening. You don't know how important it is to have extended family around and go visit them for holidays, birthdays, etc until you can't do it anymore. This is just my experience, I'm not trying to insult you in any way.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 23, 2017 at 9:00 AM
2 moms liked this
Not at all. But if they want to see us they're going to have to come over here. They have made decisions about how they want to do things and that's perfectly fine. But that doesn't mean that we should have to go along with their way of doing things for the rest of our lives.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

So wait, it's been done a certain way for many years now and because you have decided you don't want to go anymore , they should change everything ?

Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Sep. 23, 2017 at 9:01 AM
We have to travel for the holidays....it's worth it for us to see our families....
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Sep. 23, 2017 at 9:02 AM
I agree with the inlaws.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 23, 2017 at 9:02 AM

Wow,  you're either that entitled or just trolling, either way makes no difference to me.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Not at all. But if they want to see us they're going to have to come over here. They have made decisions about how they want to do things and that's perfectly fine. But that doesn't mean that we should have to go along with their way of doing things for the rest of our lives.
Quoting Anonymous 2:

So wait, it's been done a certain way for many years now and because you have decided you don't want to go anymore , they should change everything ?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 23, 2017 at 9:03 AM
2 moms liked this
I definitely understand that but the way I look at it is when we're spending hours out of each holiday traveling I feel like we're not enjoying the holidays with our children. I feel like every holiday is so rushed and so stressful it's not enjoyable. I made a comment to my husband on the way to his parents house for Christmas last year that with the amount of time that we spent traveling, I could have made a Christmas dinner by myself. And both sides do potluck so it's not like going to different people's houses means I don't have to cook. I'm still cooking I'm just also having to travel. I would rather cook the whole dinner maybe enjoy that time with my older kids helping me rather than sitting in the car for several hours each holiday

Quoting Anonymous 4: I have no extended family around, so we can't go to their house unless we travel about 14 hours. I would love to be close enough to go to their house for the evening. You don't know how important it is to have extended family around and go visit them for holidays, birthdays, etc until you can't do it anymore. This is just my experience, I'm not trying to insult you in any way.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 23, 2017 at 9:03 AM
2 moms liked this
What's entitled about wanting to make our own family traditions? Why is it okay for my in-laws to make demands and we have to go along with it?

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Wow,  you're either that entitled or just trolling, either way makes no difference to me.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Not at all. But if they want to see us they're going to have to come over here. They have made decisions about how they want to do things and that's perfectly fine. But that doesn't mean that we should have to go along with their way of doing things for the rest of our lives.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

So wait, it's been done a certain way for many years now and because you have decided you don't want to go anymore , they should change everything ?

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)