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My mom died at 9pm yesterday.

Posted by on Sep. 24, 2017 at 5:53 AM
  • 78 Replies
1 mom liked this
I'm not sure how to deal with this pain. Though she is no longer struggling, and in pain. I dont know how to relax the ache in my heart.

It was totally unexpected

On August 28th my mother sat myself and my husband down and told us that her cancer had returned in her liver. She said they'd caught it early, and she would be fine once again. Her treatment was starting September 11th a
2017 and suppose to end on October 12th 2017.

She was admitted to the hospital September 8th 2017 because she was having so much trouble breathing she has COPD.

She fell ill and went the ICU bounced back and was gonna go home Friday. She fell ill again and became unresponsive.

Come to find out from our family doctor she lied, and her cancer was a stage 4. they had indeed NOT caught it early. It was no only in her liver, but back in her lungs, she also had an EXTREME amount of acid in her bloodstream.

I learned this all at once as my mom awakened once more and squeezed my hand at 745pm. Not to say "I will make it." but more of a "I love you too. Goodbye." My mother finally withered away at 9pm. she was full of life 2days prior.

I just woke up and dialed her number.

Her only grandbaby just turned One.

I dont know how people deal with a loss of a parent. I'm really struggling.
by on Sep. 24, 2017 at 5:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Quakercaoimhe
by Esperantisto on Sep. 24, 2017 at 5:55 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine the pain you must be in right now. Please remember to take care of yourself. She'd want you to. 

applepie3
by Member on Sep. 24, 2017 at 5:59 AM
thank you.

Quoting Quakercaoimhe:

I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine the pain you must be in right now. Please remember to take care of yourself. She'd want you to. 

Quakercaoimhe
by Esperantisto on Sep. 24, 2017 at 6:05 AM

You're so welcome. Do you have a support system?

Quoting applepie3: thank you.
Quoting Quakercaoimhe:

I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine the pain you must be in right now. Please remember to take care of yourself. She'd want you to. 


applepie3
by Member on Sep. 24, 2017 at 6:07 AM
1 mom liked this
I do. My husband. Dad. Brother.

I just wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. can't sleep or eat. I'm in so much pain. I feel extremely pathetic because I hadn't a single clue.

Quoting Quakercaoimhe:

You're so welcome. Do you have a support system?

Quoting applepie3: thank you.

Quoting Quakercaoimhe:

I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine the pain you must be in right now. Please remember to take care of yourself. She'd want you to. 

Quakercaoimhe
by Esperantisto on Sep. 24, 2017 at 6:18 AM
2 moms liked this

You are not pathetic. You don't control what medical information you have access to right? I know you're doing the best you possibly can. I promise you won't always hurt this much. It's okay to feel the agony, because it shows how deeply you cared for her. I'm glad you have your family to lean on. 

Quoting applepie3: I do. My husband. Dad. Brother. I just wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. can't sleep or eat. I'm in so much pain. I feel extremely pathetic because I hadn't a single clue.
Quoting Quakercaoimhe:

You're so welcome. Do you have a support system?

Quoting applepie3: thank you.
Quoting Quakercaoimhe:

I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine the pain you must be in right now. Please remember to take care of yourself. She'd want you to. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 24, 2017 at 6:26 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm so sorry.  ((hugs))

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 24, 2017 at 6:31 AM
2 moms liked this
I'm so sorry for your loss. I found out my mother had cancer the same day that I found out I was pregnant, her prognosis wasn't good, they said 6 months. I was miserable every day thinking she wouldn't live to see her grandchild. She held on a lot longer, and was able to meet my son and see him turn one, even though it was still very hard, I consider that a blessing.

Just take one day at a time, some days will be harder than others, even years from now, but all you can do is take them one at a time.
tsatske2
by Latricia on Sep. 24, 2017 at 6:34 AM
2 moms liked this

I'm sorry. The pain will always be there, but it will get much better with time. There will come a time when the worst thing you can imagine happening is feeling better, then you will find you do feel better, and it's okay. Just hang in there. Keep talking to her. Prayers sent for you and yours. 

Peaceful.chaos
by Emerald Member on Sep. 24, 2017 at 6:36 AM
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I'm so sorry. My mom also didn't tell us how sick she was. She went to ER on a Friday, said it was pneumonia, then died 4 days later, never having left the hospital. I knew deep down that she was slowly fading away, but for her sake I went along with whatever she said and pretend everything would be fine. There is nothing in this world like the pain of losing your mother. It's been almost 2 years and sometimes grief just washes over me, as strong as it was at the beginning. Talk about her often to your family and friends . It really helps.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 24, 2017 at 8:58 AM
1 mom liked this

Im so sorry for your loss.

As time goes by , it will be easier. I lost my mom 19 yrs ago.

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