Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

when do you step in? (sibling fighting with gf)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 25 Replies
I'll be the first to admit that my brother is a pos, abusive asshole prick- and even then, I'm being kind.

When he and his gf fight, it's awful. Him yelling, screaming, throwing stuff, her crying. I'm sure she has her faults too but nothing to the extent of his, that I've witnessed.


Earlier today, he came in and slammed the front door, went upstairs to his room (I'm in the basement), and I can hear him screaming. I mean, I hear every single word clearly. I go up, ask him to unlock his door, but he doesn't. He is speaking lower so whatever. I go back down and I hear him again but this time, he's punching the wall or door. Usually I wouldn't have left but they were arguing on the phone so no one was in any immediate danger. I go up again, demand him to open the door, he doesn't so I'm looking for the key to open it. He finally does but he is wanting to leave. I don't let him bc he's talking about driving on the other side of the road, not giving a damn about his life and refusing to care if he hits another car or killing someone else. Even when he's calm, he's a jackass, aggressive driver.

We 'talk'- more like arguing bc I'm not letting him leave and he's wanting to jump out the second story window. Ugh. I end up 'yelling' at him over a few things- his anger, disrespect to our father, that he needs to pull his head out of his ass, he needs to stop being verbally abusive and physically intimidating. And by yelling, it's just that firm, I won't take any bullshit parental voice.

He needs answer management, he needs counseling, he needs intensive help. But I know I can't force him and I have no idea what to do.


My question- was I wrong to interfere? If he was still on the phone screaming at his gf, i would've told him to hang up. Was I wrong to not let him go until he kinda cooled down?

I did raise my voice during our talk when he picked up his phone and tried to call his gf- told him how rude and disrespectful that is.

He's 19, but his excuse for this behavior is that he's a teenager still and his brain won't stop growing into he's 25- he knows bc he took sociology and psychology. Ahh.

I'm at a loss on what to do. He claims he's disabled. I know that's our pos mom speaking in his ear but I also know before he was 5, he wasn't speaking and there was talk about him having aspergers- idk if that's what this is or what. I'm thinking bipolar and depression but who knows. I plan on speaking to our dad aboutany possible mental disabilities, but that still doesn't excuse the behavior.

If he stays on this path, either he'll end up getting killed or he'll kill someone else.
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 25, 2017 at 2:57 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 25, 2017 at 2:57 PM
About to go into a meeting. I'll reply in about 2 hrs
Not_A_Native
by Ruby Member on Sep. 25, 2017 at 3:00 PM

Do you live there too?  If so, I'd move, and let your parents deal with him.

laceyyyy
by Silver Member on Sep. 25, 2017 at 3:01 PM

hell nah! he needs to to know hos behavior is reckless and hes only 19 he needs it corrected now. If hes always this anger than you're right he does need anger management because that kind of destructive behaviour can harm him or someone else un intentionally.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 25, 2017 at 3:03 PM
2 moms liked this
He threatened to take his life and others, you should have called 911 and had him held for evaluation.
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Sep. 25, 2017 at 3:10 PM

When he said this ....I would have called 911 and had him admitted to a psych ward for a 72 hour hold

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'll be the first to admit that my brother is a pos, abusive asshole prick- and even then, I'm being kind. When he and his gf fight, it's awful. Him yelling, screaming, throwing stuff, her crying. I'm sure she has her faults too but nothing to the extent of his, that I've witnessed. Earlier today, he came in and slammed the front door, went upstairs to his room (I'm in the basement), and I can hear him screaming. I mean, I hear every single word clearly. I go up, ask him to unlock his door, but he doesn't. He is speaking lower so whatever. I go back down and I hear him again but this time, he's punching the wall or door. Usually I wouldn't have left but they were arguing on the phone so no one was in any immediate danger. I go up again, demand him to open the door, he doesn't so I'm looking for the key to open it. He finally does but he is wanting to leave. I don't let him bc he's talking about driving on the other side of the road, not giving a damn about his life and refusing to care if he hits another car or killing someone else. Even when he's calm, he's a jackass, aggressive driver. We 'talk'- more like arguing bc I'm not letting him leave and he's wanting to jump out the second story window. Ugh. I end up 'yelling' at him over a few things- his anger, disrespect to our father, that he needs to pull his head out of his ass, he needs to stop being verbally abusive and physically intimidating. And by yelling, it's just that firm, I won't take any bullshit parental voice. He needs answer management, he needs counseling, he needs intensive help. But I know I can't force him and I have no idea what to do. My question- was I wrong to interfere? If he was still on the phone screaming at his gf, i would've told him to hang up. Was I wrong to not let him go until he kinda cooled down? I did raise my voice during our talk when he picked up his phone and tried to call his gf- told him how rude and disrespectful that is. He's 19, but his excuse for this behavior is that he's a teenager still and his brain won't stop growing into he's 25- he knows bc he took sociology and psychology. Ahh. I'm at a loss on what to do. He claims he's disabled. I know that's our pos mom speaking in his ear but I also know before he was 5, he wasn't speaking and there was talk about him having aspergers- idk if that's what this is or what. I'm thinking bipolar and depression but who knows. I plan on speaking to our dad aboutany possible mental disabilities, but that still doesn't excuse the behavior. If he stays on this path, either he'll end up getting killed or he'll kill someone else.


Sheila79
by Platinum Member on Sep. 25, 2017 at 3:10 PM
I'd call the cops.
donnag013
by Platinum Member on Sep. 25, 2017 at 3:13 PM
1 mom liked this

If he is threatening to kill himself, calll the police. They can place him on an involuntary psychiatric hold. The man/child needs help.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 25, 2017 at 3:14 PM

When he threatened suicide, WHY didn't you call the cops?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 25, 2017 at 3:19 PM
If he wasn't talking at 5 he would not have been diagnosed with Asperger's, that doesn't matter at this point anyway. Everyone needs to start holding him accountable for his actions fully developed brain or not, he knows his actions are wrong.
tired_momof3
by Bronze Member on Sep. 25, 2017 at 3:20 PM
Do whatever is necessary to get him help or hold him accountable for his actions. Do it now before he really does kill himself or someone else. Early intervention is so important in order for things not to escalate, and things will continue to get worse. You have every right to be concerned about this, you love your brother but you don't have to like the things he does.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)