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Can a young child know they're gay?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 61 Replies

I've been in here awhile, but I haven't posted in some time. Thought I'd throw this out to you guys since I see conflicting information. 

So, my daughter is 6 years old. Within the last 6 months or so, I've noticed some definite things that have made me think she might be gay, or bi. 

Little girls. All about little girls. No interest in boys. Lately, she has been playing and all of her toys marry little girls. She told me that when she grows up that she wants to marry girls because "she likes them." Further complicating that, she is autistic... which means as an autistic female that she'll mimic other little girls- which could account for some of this. I don't say anything about the same-sex marriage play, and I tell her it's okay if she wants to marry girls. 

Just curious because when you talk to people who are gay, they usually know from a pretty early age, but the documentation and articles I find say they don't know until right before puberty. I don't know I'm buying that because I've never felt a sexual attraction to women. Same with her dad, he never had an attraction to men. 

I've tried to talk to my mother about it, but she's totally obnoxious about it. I see the denial is strong in here- which it actually was when she was diagnosed with autism, too. Excuses and just... even spoke to me about a cousin I had who "was" gay but was "converted." *eye roll* 

Yes, I know she's a kid. No, I wouldn't have a problem with it- beyond the crud she might have to put up with from society. 

I'm just curious. If you're gay or bi... when did you truly know? Did you always know for as long as you can remember? 

Whatever will be will be, but I'm genuinely curious. 


Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 26, 2017 at 4:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Pink.Sunshine
by Petty Princess on Sep. 26, 2017 at 4:56 PM
Well I knew I liked boys at 5. I don't remember prior to 5

Sorry not gay or bi. You threw that down there at the end
susannah2000
by Ruby Member on Sep. 26, 2017 at 4:57 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think you know until you are older and have a clue as to who you are. Young kids don't have that knowledge.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 26, 2017 at 4:59 PM

Don't worry about it, mom. Let your daughter be a kid and let her cross that bridge when she gets to it. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 26, 2017 at 5:00 PM
1 mom liked this
I thought boys were gross at 6. At 8. Even at 10.

I wouldn't read anything into this either way.

She's 6. She doesn't need a label.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 26, 2017 at 5:00 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Pink.Sunshine: Well I knew I liked boys at 5. I don't remember prior to 5 Sorry not gay or bi. You threw that down there at the end

No. You're perfectly fine. 

See, as a straight woman I was the same. Or at least I knew I didn't like girls. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 26, 2017 at 5:00 PM
I remember liking boys as early as kindergarten. My gay friends have all said that they knew from when they were little, even if they couldn't articulate it until later on and only realized it in hindsight. So yes, I think they can but I don't think it's something that needs to be addressed until if and when the child is comfortable and comes to that place on their own.
KyliesMom5
by Ruby Member on Sep. 26, 2017 at 5:01 PM
I honestly started suspecting my cousin was gay when he was about 8 or 9. But he says he didn't know until his teens. I guess they can but I don't think kids truly know until they get to an age when they really start noticing the opposite sex or the same sex in this case.
PinkButterfly66
by Sapphire Member on Sep. 26, 2017 at 5:01 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, if you talk to other gay men and women, they'll tell you that they knew they were gay as young children.  She very well may indeed be gay.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 26, 2017 at 5:02 PM


Quoting Anonymous 2:

Don't worry about it, mom. Let your daughter be a kid and let her cross that bridge when she gets to it. 

I do. I certainly don't quiz her on it because that would be wrong and rather leading, in my opinion. I guess I just want to be there for her if that's the case. Especially with her being autistic and not getting social cues... if that makes sense. 

GKmoms18
by on Sep. 26, 2017 at 5:02 PM
She'll figure it out as she gets older, although I will say I had a girlfriend in kindergarten that I swore I would marry. I'm queer.
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