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So I don't have to keep updating the post about DH getting the no contact order on BM

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies

So BM didn't even try to call. However, I got a ton of hateful texts from BM's aunt this morning. Telling me that SD said that I told her and she didn't find it and DH responded and said that he had proof that it was NOT something I made up and told SD. She said the picture proof wouldn't prove anything and that all I have done is cause problems and I don't need to talk to SD about her mother (I only answer the questions SD asks me BUT there is now a new rule SD can only speak to BM's family regarding BM if she and the other family are going to say everything we say or do is a lie) and I don't need to talk to ANYONE regarding SD etc. DH told her that as of this point all communication is unneccessary and will stop. She of course still said that I am a horrible person and making up lies to turn SD agains BM and I will never be her mom and I need to stop doing anything for her and let her dad do everything etc...

What I don't understand is DH and I don't see what I've done wrong. I have NEVER lied about BM and have ALWAYS told her that her BM loves her and just made mistakes etc. Am I wrong to do mom things for SD? I mean she hasn't had a MOM in over 6 yrs bc BM fled and then a year after being gone is when she went to prison. SD doesn't call me mom unless she is really upset or sick etc. I told SD many times that I will be whatever she needed me to be whether that is mom, friend etc is up to her. She said she needs a MOM because she can't remember ever having one. BUT she told BM's family the complete opposite last night. She has also told them that we make her take care of our 2yo ds. That is untrue. We make her help BECAUSE she has become VERY interested in boys and DH thinks if she helps with things with DS that she will see why we say wait until you are ready to be a mom before you have sex because ONCE is all it takes but of course BM has been telling her other things so she doesn't believe us about it now. To clarify though SD ONLY helps with certain things and ONLY if we are both in the middle of something. Like this past Sunday night she washed him for me because DH was trying to cook dinner and had a major mishap so I asked her if she would just run the soapy washcloth over him real fast. That is the ONLY time she has EVER helped during bathtime. Normally its changing a wet diaper here and there or chasing him around outside etc... I just don't know anymore. I am questioning everything I've ever done for SD at this point. I am the one that paid for him to get custody BECAUSE SD begged to live with daddy once mommy left. So I did what I thought was right for both DH and SD but now with the things that are happening DH is getting depressed because of it and SD is starting to lie to us and BM and BM's family about the others... I just don't know what to do at this point.... BM's family has been telling us for YEARS that SD was only trying to make DH happy by saying she wanted to live here and SD has been telling us the opposite. We don't know what to believe....

Sorry its so long I am just so upset and stressed.

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:31 PM
You need to cut contact with BM's family and get that child some counseling.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:33 PM

We are!! I can't do this shit anymore. Its beyond fucking stressful. I love my SD to pieces BUT I'm almost at the point of telling DH its all on him now.... Last weekend I overheard SD talking shit to her friend about me.

Quoting Anonymous 2: You need to cut contact with BM's family and get that child some counseling.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:37 PM
Put that child in counseling now. She is going to fall apart soon.

The second he has a no contact order change the phone numbers. At the very least block all those numbers

File for TPR,
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:48 PM

We are going to but our lawyer said it probably won't happen because she's not done anything to physically harm SD

Quoting Anonymous 3: Put that child in counseling now. She is going to fall apart soon. The second he has a no contact order change the phone numbers. At the very least block all those numbers File for TPR,


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 29, 2017 at 4:08 PM

bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 30, 2017 at 10:55 AM
Bump
Ms_Smock
by Gold Member on Sep. 30, 2017 at 11:20 AM
Honestly I would cut her off from bm family.

Also it is normal for her to lie to them, they are probably leading her to lying and she is doing it Becuase she gets the attention and it's what they want to hear.
Ms_Smock
by Gold Member on Sep. 30, 2017 at 11:20 AM
Kids talk shit about their parents

Quoting Anonymous 1:

We are!! I can't do this shit anymore. Its beyond fucking stressful. I love my SD to pieces BUT I'm almost at the point of telling DH its all on him now.... Last weekend I overheard SD talking shit to her friend about me.

Quoting Anonymous 2: You need to cut contact with BM's family and get that child some counseling.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 30, 2017 at 11:24 AM
So I should be ok with her talking shit about me to her BM and friends all the while hearing her talk so highly of her whore BM?!

Quoting Ms_Smock: Kids talk shit about their parents

Quoting Anonymous 1:

We are!! I can't do this shit anymore. Its beyond fucking stressful. I love my SD to pieces BUT I'm almost at the point of telling DH its all on him now.... Last weekend I overheard SD talking shit to her friend about me.

Quoting Anonymous 2: You need to cut contact with BM's family and get that child some counseling.

Ms_Smock
by Gold Member on Sep. 30, 2017 at 12:03 PM
No BUT it's normal for a kid to do that about their parents, especially when they have a receptive audience. This is a common parenting problem, not just a sm/sd problem. Do you see my point?

Quoting Anonymous 1: So I should be ok with her talking shit about me to her BM and friends all the while hearing her talk so highly of her whore BM?!

Quoting Ms_Smock: Kids talk shit about their parents

Quoting Anonymous 1:

We are!! I can't do this shit anymore. Its beyond fucking stressful. I love my SD to pieces BUT I'm almost at the point of telling DH its all on him now.... Last weekend I overheard SD talking shit to her friend about me.

Quoting Anonymous 2: You need to cut contact with BM's family and get that child some counseling.

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