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Divorce.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies
I'm currently in the very beginning stages of going through a divorce. I met an attorney and served my ex. We have 2 children together aged 6 and 2. He has a son from a high school "16 and pregnant" situation who is 16.
I don't want alimony or child support, I can provide for myself and our 2 children on my own. I am proposing every other weekend and a few days during the week, so 50/50 custody and he can taper back from there (I'm sure I'll end up having the kids 5 days during the week as he works a lot and I'm able to work from home. The demise of our marriage was because of my step son. He caused nothing but problems, endangered our children (I have documentation of bruises and scratches) and verbally abused our 6 year old. In the agreement I would like to include that when the children are at my ex's home that his son stay away. He has every other weekend with his son but when we were together we had him the majority of the time because his mother needed us to have him.
I do NOT feel comfortable with my children being in the home with his son without me present so I assume put in the agreement that his son may not be there while my children are there. If he has to get his oldest son for whatever I'd be more than willing to accommodate and get the kids so they can do what they need to do.
Do you think an attorney would put that into a child custody agreement? I have physical evidence of harm toward both of my children at the hands of his 16 year old.
I'm going to meet with the attorney to discuss further details on Monday, anyone's input or ideas would be greatly appreciated!
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:38 PM
Ehh that's a tricky one.
Also I would still accept the child support and just put it into a savings account for your kids for college
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:39 PM
You can have anything put in a CO, now whether your ex or a judge will go for it is a different story.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:46 PM
That's what I'm wondering. When you have physical evidence that this adolescent harmed your young children. I just can not have my children around him, it's the sole reason I left. I'm still madly in love with my husband but he can't get rid of his kid!

Quoting Anonymous 3: You can have anything put in a CO, now whether your ex or a judge will go for it is a different story.
SPNpudding
by Platinum Member on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:47 PM
I think if you have solid evidence, you should use it! I would be terrified as well. I would even be tempted to put supervised visitation or visitation in a public setting.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:48 PM
We already have 2 college prepaid accounts etc., I can always file in the future but right now I basically just want to completely cut ties with him other than dealing with the children. I don't want money from him. Call me crazy lol

Quoting Anonymous 2: Ehh that's a tricky one.
Also I would still accept the child support and just put it into a savings account for your kids for college
AmaliaD
by Ruby Member on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:49 PM
Yes it's okay to define that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:49 PM
I know, it just sucks because my ex is a phenomenal father, he deserves to have his children 50/50 and our children adore him, he hung the moon in their eyes. For me to put my children through supervised visitation with their dad would be extremely difficult for them and for me to live with. But his son is toxic.

Quoting SPNpudding: I think if you have solid evidence, you should use it! I would be terrified as well. I would even be tempted to put supervised visitation or visitation in a public setting.
SPNpudding
by Platinum Member on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:53 PM
Well that makes a difference. If you trust him to stay true to that, then you wouldn't have to do visitation that way. You'll figure it out. Honestly if my DH had a 16yo that physically hurt MY DDs (they are 6 and 5), I would press charges. There is absolutely no reason for a 16 year old to treat essential babies that way. Absolutely not. And I'd be pissed at my DH for not doing anything about it.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I know, it just sucks because my ex is a phenomenal father, he deserves to have his children 50/50 and our children adore him, he hung the moon in their eyes. For me to put my children through supervised visitation with their dad would be extremely difficult for them and for me to live with. But his son is toxic.

Quoting SPNpudding: I think if you have solid evidence, you should use it! I would be terrified as well. I would even be tempted to put supervised visitation or visitation in a public setting.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:55 PM
What exactly has his son done to your children?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 29, 2017 at 3:56 PM
My ex begged me not to get police involved on the agreement that he stay away from our home while our children are home; so I agreed solely to keep my marriage intact. Then he would just drive over, at times when my husband wasn't home, my husband did nothing to stop his son from coming to our house which is when I basically gave him the us or him ultimatum.. while I'm heartbroken over the decision or lack of decision he made I can't imagine being in his shoes and having to choose between my children.

Quoting SPNpudding: Well that makes a difference. If you trust him to stay true to that, then you wouldn't have to do visitation that way. You'll figure it out. Honestly if my DH had a 16yo that physically hurt MY DDs (they are 6 and 5), I would press charges. There is absolutely no reason for a 16 year old to treat essential babies that way. Absolutely not. And I'd be pissed at my DH for not doing anything about it.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I know, it just sucks because my ex is a phenomenal father, he deserves to have his children 50/50 and our children adore him, he hung the moon in their eyes. For me to put my children through supervised visitation with their dad would be extremely difficult for them and for me to live with. But his son is toxic.

Quoting SPNpudding: I think if you have solid evidence, you should use it! I would be terrified as well. I would even be tempted to put supervised visitation or visitation in a public setting.
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