Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Helping her classmate is effecting her school work

Posted by Anonymous
  • 28 Replies
Yes, I've scheduled a conference with the teacher to address this issue, but I would like to know what some of you think about this situation.
Dd11 is seated in class beside a child who is autistic. She told me yesterday that the teacher expects her to help him with his classwork. She said sometimes he does his work independently but often he refuses to do his work, pushinghis papers aside. He gets frustrated, the teacher gets angry, and my dd feels uncomfortable. She is having to rush through her work in order to help him.
I have NO issue with her helping him, as long as her work is being completed as well. But I also I feel like if he needs extra help, it should come from the teacher or an aid. Tbh, I haven't had experience with older special needs children, particularly pre teens, and their specific needs, is it standard practice to not have an aid for the child once they reach 5th grade? Am I making too big a deal out of this??
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 17, 2017 at 7:17 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by Silver Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 8:08 PM
I would ge pissed! It is not your dd job to help him. If it wasn't affecting her work it wouldn't bother me, but it is. I would tell her to stop helping him, if he doesn't do his work or causes a scene then it is the teacher's job to handle it. If your dd gets in trouble for not helping you go to the principal.
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 17, 2017 at 8:10 PM


by Ruby Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 8:11 PM

yeah,that shouldnt be pissed..what if the kid flips out and hurts her?

by Emerald Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 8:13 PM

naw i wouldn't be okay with that... she shouldn't have to be rushing thru her work to help him. it sounds like he should have an aid to help him or someone else. it hsouldn't fall on her. if she wants to help him when she's done that is different. i'd be bringing it up for sure.

by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 17, 2017 at 8:15 PM
And this is why most kids with special needs should not be mainstreamed! My daughter has autism and I'm fighting to get her back to th3 special needs schools. She upsets the class and she isn't learning anything, i doubt this child is either.

by Emerald Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 8:15 PM
I wouldn't be okay with it either. Even if your daughter was able to get through her work it's not her job to teach another student. Especially if doing so makes her uncomfortable
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 17, 2017 at 8:21 PM
I don't know about 5th grade, because I teach high school. In high school depending on the IEP they don't always get an aide. And if we do, at least in the science department where I teach, the aides are useless to help with the actual curriculum. They are just there to ensure that the student gets all the required accomodations but wouldn't know where to begin to help with the actual science.

That said, I would never entend for one student to be the helper of any of my special ed students. There are times when I give group work expecting higher level kids to end up teaching lower level kids, but the activities in that case are set up so everyone gets something out of it and it isn't every paper.
No one student should have that requirement every day.
by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 17, 2017 at 8:21 PM

You child's teacher's job is to teach all the students and keep them on track.  Your daughter's job is to learn.

I was gifted with the ability to understand quick and to accomplish tasls quickly.  I also have the ability to share the knowledge one on one.  I was asked to help another student.  He simply could not do the work and he would not even make it to high school as it was.  When I finished my work.  I would simply go and help him.  There were times we sat in the hall so I could talk more freely.  BTW he did get to high school and did graduate.The point is that I could do it and wanted to.  I will also be honest and say that I may have asked the teacher.

For the most part I was blessed with really good teachers.  If I had begun to fall behind or have a hard time or was rushing it would have stopped.  Since the teacher is putting the burden  on her and not looking out for her the one to do it is yourself.  If necessary you go to the principal.

I am a bit of a hard ass or was and I would have had no difficulty telling the teacher no,  I am not his teacher or guardian.  I am not doing it.    Most kids can not stand up to a teacher without that one getting punished.

Think it through I would call for a conference with the teacher and the principal.

by Ruby Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 8:22 PM

You are not overreacting. This is not your daughter's job.

by Sapphire Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 8:24 PM
1 mom liked this
What I’m wondering is if your dd is putting this all on herself. The teacher may have said for her to help him if she finishes and has time and she took it to mean she needs to help him all the time. I bet the teacher will have a whole different story.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)