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She's steering her kids towards eating disorders - IMHO

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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1 mom liked this

I have a friend who constantly complains about her dh's weight. He is not at all fat IMO. She also talks to her 9 y/o daughter about how many calories to eat. It is a fucking eating disorder waiting to happen.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 18, 2017 at 8:30 AM
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anononononon
by on Oct. 18, 2017 at 11:10 AM
1 mom liked this
Yep, that's messed up
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 18, 2017 at 11:13 AM
It's not the best example but I don't necessarily think it will automatically end in an eating disorder. My kids see me weigh and measure myself weekly. I weigh and measure all my food and they know I focus on hitting a certain calorie mark. My oldest is very health conscious and asks me how much fat/protein/carbs are in certain foods and if that's good or bad. She asks about calories too. I think that can go many ways depending on how the parent teaches it and models it around the house.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 18, 2017 at 11:14 AM
I know someone like that. She is convinced her kids can't eat dairy. She gives them extra healthy food. Even sends ur in to daycare where food is provided for all the other kids. When she is allowed to eat snack with the kids, like pretzels she eats twice as much as anyone else. Even licks her napkin. She gets every crumb. It's so sad. She's already chubby at 4. Her mother is creating this by making such a huge deal out of food.
owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Oct. 18, 2017 at 11:14 AM
It could lead to that if she doesn't knock it off.
CorpCityGrl
by Ruby Member on Oct. 18, 2017 at 11:18 AM

For her 9 year old, it very well could lead to an eating disorder or at the very least a body image issue. My aunt was like that with my cousins and it was constant. Once they got older, they clearly had issues with food and weight. One was so hung up on her weight that she was afraid to get pregnant because of the fact that it would mean gaining weight. 

Some may disagree but kids are very impressionable and they learn eating habits pretty early.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 18, 2017 at 11:20 AM

Depends on how she talks to her daughter. If it is in a put down, complaining kind of tone than that is not good. Have you said anything to her?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 18, 2017 at 11:22 AM
3 moms liked this
That seems a bit obsessive, no offense.

I struggled with eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia).

Quoting Anonymous 2: It's not the best example but I don't necessarily think it will automatically end in an eating disorder. My kids see me weigh and measure myself weekly. I weigh and measure all my food and they know I focus on hitting a certain calorie mark. My oldest is very health conscious and asks me how much fat/protein/carbs are in certain foods and if that's good or bad. She asks about calories too. I think that can go many ways depending on how the parent teaches it and models it around the house.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Oct. 18, 2017 at 11:35 AM

I think that it could raise risk for some children and some situations. You can have three kids in a family and depending on the gae and stage and strengths/ressiliencies and relationship with the parent, you can get three very different outcomes. You can have a child who is relatively unaffected by this mothers over preoccupation with body size and weight and one who may become more conscience but not to an extreme and then another child may develop some anxiety or perfectionism around food and weight. Its just so tricky.

momto2boys973
by Sapphire Member on Oct. 18, 2017 at 11:35 AM

Yes, she is.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 18, 2017 at 11:43 AM
Quoting Anonymous 5: That seems a bit obsessive, no offense.

I struggled with eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia).

Quoting Anonymous 2: It's not the best example but I don't necessarily think it will automatically end in an eating disorder. My kids see me weigh and measure myself weekly. I weigh and measure all my food and they know I focus on hitting a certain calorie mark. My oldest is very health conscious and asks me how much fat/protein/carbs are in certain foods and if that's good or bad. She asks about calories too. I think that can go many ways depending on how the parent teaches it and models it around the house.


To you it does bc you are looking at it from the perspective of having had an eating disorder. The truth is you know nothing about my eating habits or how healthy or damaging they might be.


I am a bodybuilder. I'm not losing weight. I weigh my food and aim for a certain calorie bracket bc if I don't, I won't grow muscle. Or worse, I'll lose the hard earned muscle I spent all year putting on. I aim to eat a surplus of calories (more than I need) and not less. My kids see me weighing myself to see if I'm gaining lean bodyweight and measuring my muscle growth. I'm not trying to get smaller or weigh less. I'm training for a show and only do this in the weeks leading up to it. The rest of the year I eat when hungry (though I eat healthy) and I don't worry about my weight or measurements as much (might weight and measure once a month to just make sure I'm making progress on my current program).

My kids ask about it not bc they model it but bc they want to know why I have to pay such close attention to it. "Why do you weigh your meat?" Bc I need to eat at least 160g of protein each day to grow more muscle. "Why do you have to stay at 2200 cal a day?" Bc I need to be in a mild surplus of calories to grow muscle. If I eat too few my body will not build new muscle. "I thought fat was bad? That what my health class said..." No, healthy fats are not bad for you. They are very good for you, especially your brain so it can grow and you can be smart. Very fatty, sugary foods like donuts are bad for you, yes. Avocados are high in fat but they are good for you. As long as you stick to foods from nature then you are good to go and limit the sugary stuff to very rarely. "How many calories should I eat?" You don't need to worry about that. You eat when you are hungry and eat lots of different colors of foods and you will grow and be healthy. I only count calories bc I have a very specific goal of gaining muscle and prepping for the show. Once the show is over, I won't be counting calories anymore either.

Not everyone who counts calories has an eating disorder or is obsessive. Nor is a child noticing and asking innocent questions about it going to set them up for an eating disorder. It largely depends on how the parents model it.
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