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I want to leave my relationship but I feel guilty about it.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 23 Replies
I know my boyfriend clearly only tolerates my kids while he thinks his kid can do no wrong. I've worked very hard to treat all three kids the same. They all love and have a great relationship with me (my own kids should right? ). But my kids just aren't as close to him. Everything they do annoys him. My kids do love him but they have no idea how many battles I've fought for them. He hasn't done anything to them but I don't want to live like this. I don't like who I am with this man anymore. I'm always running interference so that they won't get on his nerves and even that isn't enough. I feel stuck.

He keeps talking about building a life with me, moving in together etc but it just feels wrong! The only reason I've been staying is because he's had several surgeries and needed my help. I'm sure that's not the only reason but that's what I tell myself. I feel incredibly torn and guilty for wanting out. I do love him but I know my kids come first. He's planning to get another surgery after this one. I don't know if I can handle it anymore and I almost feel like he was just waiting for someone to come along so that he could depend on them.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 19, 2017 at 8:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LilysMama719
by Emmy on Oct. 19, 2017 at 8:45 AM
1 mom liked this
Choose your kids. They have to know on some level that he doesn't like them.
StonesGirl66
by Alexandra on Oct. 19, 2017 at 8:46 AM
You know the answer. Leave. No guilt necessary. He doesn't like your children. Your kids come first.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 19, 2017 at 8:48 AM

What is he having so many surgeries for?  You don't live together, so I would just slowly back out.  You owe it to your kids to give them someone who loves them like their own.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 19, 2017 at 8:49 AM
He's basically moved in because of the recovery. He only goes to his apartment to get stuff.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

What is he having so many surgeries for?  You don't live together, so I would just slowly back out.  You owe it to your kids to give them someone who loves them like their own.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 19, 2017 at 8:49 AM
Your kids come first. Dump him
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 19, 2017 at 8:49 AM

Behavior after marriage could possibly deteriorate with this guy if you were to live in the same household.

I would stop seeing this guy.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 19, 2017 at 8:50 AM
2 moms liked this
You are not a nurse, you are not a wife, you are not a mother to his children, if he is not very accepting of your children now, how will he be more so when he is having to share a home with them?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Oct. 19, 2017 at 8:52 AM
Tell him all of this. Ask him if it's something he thinks he can work on and truly work on it because if he can't ease up on them then you're going to have to end things. If he gets annoyed or can't handle discussing this rationally and like an adult and doesn't see where he is at fault with your kids, then you end it. Because you have an obligation to your CHILDREN first not your boyfriend who had surgery and you feel sorry for him.
MSMOUSE0519
by Silver Member on Oct. 19, 2017 at 8:53 AM

Oh sweetie! You need to leave and choose your kids. You shouldn't have to run interferance all the time and defend your kids.

What is going to happen if you move in with this man. You will be walking on egg shells. Sounds like he has been trying to find someone to take care of him and it's you.

You deserve to be happy so does your kids. RUN< RUN> RUN

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 19, 2017 at 8:53 AM
1 mom liked this

I say you tell him that you need a break, and be done.  You should care about your kid's feelings, more than his.  You made it sound like these are some kind of optional surgeries, if you were not around what would he do?  Pack his stuff and tell him you need a break, and explain to him exactly why.

Quoting Anonymous 1: He's basically moved in because of the recovery. He only goes to his apartment to get stuff.
Quoting Anonymous 2:

What is he having so many surgeries for?  You don't live together, so I would just slowly back out.  You owe it to your kids to give them someone who loves them like their own.


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