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I thought we were being nice but she is offended

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 98 Replies
There's a family reunion at my husband's side of the family in November. It's going to be from Saturday to Tuesday before Thanksgiving, some people are staying in the area through Thanksgiving but we will be going home on Tuesday. Everybody is gathering in the vicinity of my husband's grandma's house. We decided to go. It's about a 6 hour drive. There are a lot of activities planned and most of them are for the family but there are a couple that are only adults. There is a Casino trip that is just for the adults and a dinner at a really nice restaurant that is supposed to be just for the adults (2 different nights) and I'd really like to go to both of those. But since we don't live in the area any babysitter we hire would be a stranger and I don't feel comfortable with that. I talked to my mom about letting my teenage sister come along in order to babysit the kids. She would be paid.

But my sister-in-law came to us and asked if we could help her go. She said that it's unlikely her car would make the round-trip because it's not in great shape and she can't afford a hotel and all the expenses that go along with a trip like this. She has one child who is four. My husband and I sat down and we thought about it. Either way we are have to get two hotel rooms as we have for kids so why not bring my sister-in-law and her child along instead of my sister with the only condition that she has to babysit for these two adult evenings out. And not to be mean or anything but it's not like she has money to gamble or for an expensive restaurant anyway ( of course I didn't say that to her but it's the truth). We told her that we would get two hotel rooms two of our kids would be in with us and the older two could be in with her and her son. She could ride down with us and back and all of the family activities that we do we will pay her way. The only thing we ask is that she babysit those two adult nights. I thought it was a no-brainer that she was going to be happy with this deal but no. She got offended saying that she is a member of the family and should be entitled to go to these events and that if anybody should stay back in the hotel with the kids it should be me because I'm not really family. I told her yes but I can afford to go on the trip, she can't so this is the deal we are offering. We explain to her that initially we were just going to take my sister along to babysit but we wouldn't be able to take my sister-in-law her child and my sister.


So she expects us to give her a ride there, pay for the hotel room ,pay for her way for everything and either I stay back in the hotel rooms with the kids or we hire a sitter for all of the kids so that she can go! I really am shocked by her entitled selfish expectations. My husband and I decided to give her a week to come around but it would require having a change of attitude about it not just a change of mind. Because I don't want to deal with her bitching and moaning the whole trip. Personally I just think we should take the deal off the table and plan on taking my sister.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 20, 2017 at 6:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 20, 2017 at 7:00 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 20, 2017 at 7:02 AM
9 moms liked this
Just take your sister and leave her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 20, 2017 at 7:03 AM
That's what I think. But my husband feels like we should give her the opportunity to change her mind. He thinks that when she really thinks about it she'll see that it's a good deal. But I worry that she's just going to say yes come along and be a b**** about it the whole time

Quoting Anonymous 2: Just take your sister and leave her.
Valentina327
by on Oct. 20, 2017 at 7:05 AM
2 moms liked this
Wow! She's the sibling in the family that mommy and daddy have historically spoiled I'm guessing?

I'd retract the deal and just take your sister. You know she'll be hating you the entire trip even if she grudgingly agrees to go.
Valentina327
by on Oct. 20, 2017 at 7:06 AM
Yes. She'll be looking at you with hate daggers the entire time!

Quoting Anonymous 1: That's what I think. But my husband feels like we should give her the opportunity to change her mind. He thinks that when she really thinks about it she'll see that it's a good deal. But I worry that she's just going to say yes come along and be a b**** about it the whole time

Quoting Anonymous 2: Just take your sister and leave her.
WickedOpal
by Ruby Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 7:07 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm with Anon 2 on this one. Why put yourself through all of that? It would ruin the trip.

Quoting Anonymous 1: That's what I think. But my husband feels like we should give her the opportunity to change her mind. He thinks that when she really thinks about it she'll see that it's a good deal. But I worry that she's just going to say yes come along and be a b**** about it the whole time

Quoting Anonymous 2: Just take your sister and leave her.
CheerioHolder
by Ruby Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 7:08 AM
1 mom liked this
Just take your sister.

Even if sil changes her mind, I personally wouldn't want someone watching my kids that is upset over it and doesn't really want to. If she says yes it's unlikely it's because she wants to, it will probably be because she didn't have any other option for going.
-DancingQueen-
by Bronze Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 7:09 AM
Just bring your sister and leave it at that.
ReedusStalker
by 11-15/3-27 on Oct. 20, 2017 at 7:10 AM
2 moms liked this
I would say to her, you can ride with us, get your own hotel and pay for it and if you want to come on the adult trips, find your own sitter.

Bring your sister and let her stay in the hotel room with your kids. Don't let SIL. Oh and tell her you expect her to help with gas as well.
STVUstudent
by Ruby Member on Oct. 20, 2017 at 7:11 AM

When she whined that it wasn't fair I would have taken the deal off the table imediately and reverted to my original plan.

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