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Yesterday I got another call from the school

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 75 Replies
To inform me that dd11 had been refusing to go back to class, instead hiding in the toilet. The secretary told me I really need to stop this behaviour and that it’s a security risk. I said “alright. I’ll come down and deal with her.” And was told I couldn’t because THAT was a security risk too. I asked them what they wanted me to do and she couldn’t answer besides “deal with it”. I ended up leaving work and taking her home as the school refused to actually help her calm down, she was very upset- they just wanted her back in class.

I’ve tried punishing, spanking, rewarding (on good days), talking with her. Everything. Nothing has worked. She says it’s too ‘much’ and that everyone bullies her. The teacher tells a story of dd provoking everyone into giving her negative attention. There’s no set ‘triggers’ according to the teacher; she will just go through phases where she bolts daily -sometimes multiple times a day- and then nothing for a few weeks. She’s just started seeing a psychologist as well to try and help and is also in the process of being evaluated (my request)

Any suggestions? I’ve offered to take some time off work and come in to observe - but the school has refused. They repeat the claim that it’s a security risk. Pulling her is not currently an option due to where we live.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 21, 2017 at 10:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Oct. 21, 2017 at 11:06 AM
Therapy ? How old is she ?
Isaacsmom913
by Ruby Member on Oct. 21, 2017 at 11:09 AM
The school needs to help her calm down? Uhm no, at 11 she needs to be able to self sooth. Try therapy otherwise home school.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 21, 2017 at 11:10 AM
As I said in the op. She’s seeing a psychologist and she’s 11.

Quoting lucky2Beeme: Therapy ? How old is she ?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 21, 2017 at 11:11 AM
OK, first of all, bs on the security risk crap. That's your child, they simply cannot tell you that you do not have access to your child. Why do people forget that those schools work for YOU, they're not the boss. Clearly , she needs intervention, clearly the school isn't going to do it, so it's up to you.

I don't understand why you can't pull her "due to where you live". Get her out of the toxic environment. It's obviously not doing a bit of good.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 21, 2017 at 11:11 AM
Poor thing! Maybe try online school?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 21, 2017 at 11:11 AM
If the school wants to complain about her behaviour yet not want to help find a solution, then yes, they do need to try and help as well as give consequences for her behaviours. She’s just started therapy and I cannot homeschool. I need to work.

Quoting Isaacsmom913: The school needs to help her calm down? Uhm no, at 11 she needs to be able to self sooth. Try therapy otherwise home school.
FreyaM
by on Oct. 21, 2017 at 11:12 AM
1 mom liked this
Do you think she’s being bullied or do you believe that she is provoking the other students? If I truly believed that my child was being bullied to the point of hiding in the bathroom then i would look into other options for school. If she provoking like the teacher states then I’d work closely with a therapist to identify and fix the problem.
mmm2015
by Eldouchedegrande on Oct. 21, 2017 at 11:13 AM

An 11 year old acting this way? what the hell


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 21, 2017 at 11:13 AM
The next closest school won’t accept her because she’s out of their “zone”. I’ve been told if I attempt to go into the school without permission I will be banned and police called.

Quoting Anonymous 2: OK, first of all, bs on the security risk crap. That's your child, they simply cannot tell you that you do not have access to your child. Why do people forget that those schools work for YOU, they're not the boss. Clearly , she needs intervention, clearly the school isn't going to do it, so it's up to you.

I don't understand why you can't pull her "due to where you live". Get her out of the toxic environment. It's obviously not doing a bit of good.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 21, 2017 at 11:13 AM
You have spanked her because she's having emotional problems and may be being bullied? No wonder she's fucked up and unable to self soothe.
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