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I told DH that SD and her baby are NOT moving in

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 177 Replies

SD is 17 and pregnant. She has refused to live with us the last 4 years because she didnt want to share a room with DD. We have a small 3 bedroom house, there is one room for DH and myself, one room for the boys (SS13 and DS 13) and one room for the girls (DD 16 and SD 17). The visitation schedule was set up as the kids being here on different weeks so they are sharing the room but not at the same time. SD didnt like that, she wanted her own room... That wasnt a viable option. 

Well now she is pregnant and doesnt want to live with BM because BM is pushing her to put the baby up for adoption. She wants to move in with us full time because she is mad at her mom. 

I am not okay with that. Not only would she be here every single day, but so would her baby. That means DD would have to be sharing a room half the time with SD and an infant. That isnt an option. DD works and is in school. She needs her sleep. The invitation for SD to come for half of the time (like what was originally in the custody agreement) has always been on the table. 

I am not going to make my DD have to share a room with a crying baby when she needs sleep. That isnt fair. Plus the room is not big enough for 2 teens and a baby. If we could move into a bigger home I wouldnt care as much but that isnt an option at this point, we just cant afford it. At BMs house SD will have her own room AND there is a room for a nursery. BM is pushing for adoption but not trying to force it or anything. She has already said they will set up the nursery if that is what SD wants even though she thinks adoption is best. It just honestly makes no sense for her to move in with us full time just because she doesnt like her moms opinion. 

ETA: My husband wasnt very happy about it but he said he could understand my view

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 22, 2017 at 12:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Oct. 22, 2017 at 12:07 PM
Ok and what did Dad say about it?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 22, 2017 at 12:07 PM
And what did your dh say?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 22, 2017 at 12:08 PM

He wasnt very happy about it but he said he could understand my view

Quoting Anonymous 2: And what did your dh say?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 22, 2017 at 12:08 PM
4 moms liked this
I wouldn't let her move in either. If her mom was kicking her out I would think about it but this isn't the case. Your DD shouldnt have to deal with a baby every single day because of her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 22, 2017 at 12:09 PM

I always think in situations like this, what if there wasn't another parent involved? What if your home was the only option?

I know the SD is being emotional, she's a teen and she's pregnant, however its just my 2 cents.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 22, 2017 at 12:10 PM

If there wasnt another parent involved she would have to just live with her mom like she has been doing. Our home would never been the only option. 

Quoting Anonymous 4:

I always think in situations like this, what if there wasn't another parent involved? What if your home was the only option?

I know the SD is being emotional, she's a teen and she's pregnant, however its just my 2 cents.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 22, 2017 at 12:12 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Oct. 22, 2017 at 12:13 PM
The world doesn't revolve around your agenda
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 22, 2017 at 12:14 PM
3 moms liked this

I am not saying the world revolves around me. The world also doesnt revolve around SD just because she doesnt like what her mom says

Quoting Anonymous 6: The world doesn't revolve around your agenda


Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Oct. 22, 2017 at 12:14 PM
12 moms liked this

I agree with you. SD needs to start learning her decisions have consequences and life won't be easy if she chooses to have a baby. She's very lucky but clearly ungrateful her Mom is even willing to allow her to continue living there with her baby. Mom can have as many opinions as she likes in her own home. SD needs a reality check and nobody else should suffer for her choices. 

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