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No psychiatrist. No therapy. No meds. No THANK YOU

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 78 Replies
I have heard nightmare stories about judges and dealing with custody issues. I've never been in that position. When my ex and I divorced it was very civil and wr agreed in a custody arrangement and that was that.

Dh's exwife is super high conflict. Always wanting to go to court for this that it the other thing. Always wanting to fight about something. But we have managed to avoid things going that far for a long time. Until this last issue.

She found out through the grapevine (small town, people like to run their mouths) that I used to have a "drug problem". Which isn't entirely accurate. I dabbled with cocaine in my late teens/very early 20s. Got one possession charge which scared the shit out of me and I haven't touched it since (it's been 6 years).

His ex decided to go digging into my life after that and discovered that when I was 21 I was a bartender at a bikini bar. Not even a real strip club.

So she became convinced I have mental health issues and substance abuse issues and am a danger to her kids (she has 50-50 custody with my dh). She actually got her dad to get her a lawyer and took us to court demanding I submit proof that I was in therapy and medicated for my mental health issues or I not be allowed around her kids. This actually got all the way to a courtroom.

Where the judge told her that one dug charge from 6 years ago and a legitimate job that she may not approve if but was still a job, also 6 years ago is not a reason to even compel a psych eval and pretty much told her to mind her own business and stop trying to undermine our home.

So there are good judges left in the world. The stories I have read here and a few other sites had me worried that there weren't and that all judges were skewed to Mom's side.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 16, 2017 at 11:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 16, 2017 at 11:09 PM
2 moms liked this
Wow. I'm glad that the judge put her in her place. But you know this isn't the end of it, right? She will keep on and on. Personally I wouldn't put myself through that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 16, 2017 at 11:11 PM
My husband is worth it. I love him. He is an amazing man and I am lucky he is with me. I can handle the negatives that come with that.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Wow. I'm glad that the judge put her in her place. But you know this isn't the end of it, right? She will keep on and on. Personally I wouldn't put myself through that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 16, 2017 at 11:12 PM
1 mom liked this
I always wonder how people can look at any criminal charge and think it's no big deal.
SaskMummy
by Mandy on Nov. 16, 2017 at 11:12 PM
Sounds like my bday ex wife .. how hard is it to talk?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 16, 2017 at 11:13 PM
It was a huge deal at the time and it woke me up and got me back in the right path. Now, it is just a small piece if my past.

Quoting Anonymous 3: I always wonder how people can look at any criminal charge and think it's no big deal.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 16, 2017 at 11:14 PM
I'm sorry maybe I'm a bit slow but I don't really understand what you are saying.

Quoting SaskMummy: Sounds like my bday ex wife .. how hard is it to talk?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 16, 2017 at 11:14 PM
Because it’s not. Well, most aren’t.

Quoting Anonymous 3: I always wonder how people can look at any criminal charge and think it's no big deal.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 17, 2017 at 3:27 AM
What?

Quoting SaskMummy: Sounds like my bday ex wife .. how hard is it to talk?
SaskMummy
by Mandy on Nov. 17, 2017 at 9:16 PM
Meant to say bf damn phone.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'm sorry maybe I'm a bit slow but I don't really understand what you are saying.

Quoting SaskMummy: Sounds like my bday ex wife .. how hard is it to talk?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Nov. 17, 2017 at 9:31 PM
5 moms liked this
To play devil’s advocate here - they are her kids. Put yourself in her shoes. She didn’t choose you to be a part of their lives (blended families are ROUGH - I’ve been on both sides of the fence - as a SM and a BM with a terrible ex). I don’t know your details but my ex has horrible judgment and lies constantly, so i worry whenever my LO is over there. I’ve never met his GF (who he has started leaving my 4 y/o with, in violation of our CO), but i did see her FB - the photos show her constantly out at bars, even on days when LO is at dad’s House, and like sloppy drunk dancing on tables with little club dresses on. At almost 40. As a mom, especially if the marriage was bad, and you have a bad ex-partner/Reason not to trust ex-partner, you tend to fear the worst.

Cocaine is not a little thing. If you got caught with it, you could still be using and just smarter about how you do it. She doesn’t know. But it doesn’t take much exposure to make a little kid sick - one who might put it in his mouth not knowing better or thinking it’s Sugar.

It’s not a negative that she worries about her kids’ safety. It may be an inconvenience for you, but she didn’t fabricate the charge. It was a decision you made in life, and those decisions come with consequences. Yes - it was one you made when you didn’t have kids around. No - she doesn’t know that you’ve stopped. I would be worried as hell if my little one was at a house with someone who could have drugs lying around. As a mom, it’s not our job to make other adults’ lives easier (I would feel the same if it was an aunt/Uncle, or friend). It’s our job to keep our kids safe.

Quoting Anonymous 1: My husband is worth it. I love him. He is an amazing man and I am lucky he is with me. I can handle the negatives that come with that.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Wow. I'm glad that the judge put her in her place. But you know this isn't the end of it, right? She will keep on and on. Personally I wouldn't put myself through that.
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