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Ss is getting pretty scary! Wtf can we do?!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 65 Replies
Ss17 has a long list of mental health issues. ADHD, OCD, ODD, SPD, hyper sensitivity, depression. He's medicated. Has been since 9. He lives with BM and really doesn't come around here often because he doesn't like rules. We won't let him vape in the house (his mom does), we won't let him control everything (like what we eat, what we do, etc). DH would be a hell of a lot more involved if he could be, but, he really can't.

DH isn't ss's bio dad, so, he has little to no say in anything. BM will not force him to visit. There is no court order in place. DH has zero rights (except the right to pay her child support). So, this kid is managed by BM only. And by managed, I mean she rolls over and does whatever the kid says whenever the kid says it.

Example: BM calls DH in a panic. "I need $40 for a new PlayStation controller". DH: "why?" BM "Ss got frustrated playing his game and threw his last working controller and broke it. He's freaking out and I don't have any money until payday. But he NEEDS one tonight. Like now." DH "Well, if he wants, he can come now the grass. We pay $30 for that chore. We have a few other jobs he can do to earn some cash" BM "No, that's not fair. You KNOW he has trouble controlling his temper. How dare you even suggest this! Be a dad and buy him the damn controller!"

This kind of scenario has occurred often. He punches holes in walls, swears at his step dad, swears at teachers. Throws full on fits constantly. And he never has a single consequence ever. He is in control 100% of the time. BM says it's just easier to give him what he wants.

Anyways, kid now has a gf. It's scary as fuck. He talks about this girl like she is his possession. He's been booted out of school recently for freaking out on some other kid for talking to his gf. He threw a fit yesterday, banging his head on lockers, swearing and yelling. Why? Because he doesn't want his gf to talk to anyone. He says he's jealous of everyone. The school called DH because mom doesn't think it's a big deal and they're concerned.

Wtf can we do?! BM won't listen to us. We have zero control it say. And the kid is getting pretty scary now. What will happen when this girl dumps him? Seriously, I'm so afraid for that kid! Ugh.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 17, 2017 at 2:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on Nov. 17, 2017 at 2:28 PM
1 mom liked this

its a little late to try to do something.he will be 18 soon..

Tinse
by Crazy Bird Lady on Nov. 17, 2017 at 2:29 PM
1 mom liked this

I think that SS should be speaking with a therapist.

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Nov. 17, 2017 at 2:29 PM
5 moms liked this
This kid isn't biologically your DH's? I'd wash my hands of that nightmare altogether, it's not your responsibility.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 17, 2017 at 2:29 PM
1 mom liked this

The girl needs to run fast, this has no happy ending.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 17, 2017 at 2:30 PM
3 moms liked this
Someone needs to clue in the girlfriends parents, if they haven't already.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 17, 2017 at 2:31 PM
I know. Way too little to late. We have tried. We have no say though so untimately it was all for nothing. He's now like a ticking time bomb.

Quoting quinnsmom715:

its a little late to try to do something.he will be 18 soon..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 17, 2017 at 2:31 PM
Oh man he needs to see a professional asap.
SDmomma-3
by Ruby Member on Nov. 17, 2017 at 2:32 PM
You can't do anything because dh has no say at all legally. The only thing you possibly can do is get the girls name and inform her parents, it's very clear she is not safe dating ss. If it were me, I would warn her parents.
SPNpudding
by Platinum Member on Nov. 17, 2017 at 2:33 PM
3 moms liked this
This! You lost me at that part, OP. I wonder why he pays CS??

Quoting Danesmommy1: This kid isn't biologically your DH's? I'd wash my hands of that nightmare altogether, it's not your responsibility.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 17, 2017 at 2:34 PM
He's been in therapy since he was 9. DH got that ball rolling. BM went through a bad phase and we had custody of ss from age 7-10. Why DH gave him back I will never understand. Such a dumb move.

Right now he's between therapists. He's scheduled for another psychological evaluation at the end of this month and we will go from there.

Quoting Tinse:

I think that SS should be speaking with a therapist.

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