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I am not worth it (Update)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies
Pretty much I’m just not worth anything. Nothing at all. I worked my ass off today. Told a family their kids died in an accident. I was looking forward to coming home to my family and just holding them. Instead I came home to a kid telling me they are canceling the adoption. My husband is leaving. Pretty much all I have is my job now. My only kid is walking out and my husband is giving up... I feel worthless.


So it’s been a few days. Last night I arranged a meeting with the adoption social worker who is in charge of our case. It was myself, DH, Dd, and the worker. We talked about a lot, Dd expresses unhappiness in the family dynamic. Most directed at my husband. She’s going to stay and finish the adoption. At this point I am saying fuck it on my marriage, he can either work on himself and try and figure out his issue or we can divorce. We can’t fix it without him fixing his issue first. I’m hurting a lot over this. He’s never expressed issues of this level. He’s been hiding s lot of emotions :( . The worker said I can still go through with adopting DD without DH. DD is ok with it if I’m doing the solo adoption, but not if it were him. So she gets either both of us or just me. He went to the ER and asked to be committed to a psych facility for a while hope he gets what he needs to be better.

The only reason I can still go through with it is because I work a decent paying job and can afford all the necessities without his help. So the only change would be him leaving. I wouldn’t loose the house in a divorce because we did a prenup specifically for the home. This was my grandmothers home, she left it to me to keep it in the family.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2017 at 10:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 20, 2017 at 10:55 PM

Can you explain about your kid "cancelling" being adopted?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 20, 2017 at 11:16 PM
Call out to Jesus Christ. He will give you a brand new life with purpose.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 21, 2017 at 2:29 AM
As a foster kid she can say that she doesn’t want to. Up till today she wanted it. Yesterday we got her her license and new clothing, last month a computer, phone, and driving class. Now that those are final she doesn’t want it.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Can you explain about your kid "cancelling" being adopted?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 21, 2017 at 2:32 AM
Your worth isn't defined by those around you. Stop looking there for validation. What everyone around you is doing has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them so let that go.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 21, 2017 at 2:35 AM
3 moms liked this

The ungrateful brat would lose the clothing, computer, phone and cancel the driving lesson

Quoting Anonymous 1: As a foster kid she can say that she doesn’t want to. Up till today she wanted it. Yesterday we got her her license and new clothing, last month a computer, phone, and driving class. Now that those are final she doesn’t want it.
Quoting Anonymous 2:

Can you explain about your kid "cancelling" being adopted?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Nov. 21, 2017 at 2:43 AM
I'm so very sorry. Is it possible your husband said something to her that caused her to want to cancel the adoption?

Hugs. You will make it through this. You are worth it.

Quoting Anonymous 1: As a foster kid she can say that she doesn’t want to. Up till today she wanted it. Yesterday we got her her license and new clothing, last month a computer, phone, and driving class. Now that those are final she doesn’t want it.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Can you explain about your kid "cancelling" being adopted?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Nov. 21, 2017 at 2:47 AM
You need to find what makes you happy and stop depending on others to provide your only feeling of worth.
AngelSinger
by MS Warrior on Nov. 21, 2017 at 2:54 AM

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I’m so sorry. ((Hugs))

Please call this number. They can help you. Good luck.
AngelSinger
by MS Warrior on Nov. 21, 2017 at 2:57 AM
Her husband left her, and her foster child canceled her adoption; she lost both husband and child today. How did you read that post and think, “stop caring what other people think, it has nothing to do with you”?

Quoting Anonymous 4: Your worth isn't defined by those around you. Stop looking there for validation. What everyone around you is doing has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them so let that go.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 21, 2017 at 3:06 AM
I'm saying their actions have nothing to do with her. She has done nothing wrong and it doesn't mean she is worthless. It has everything to do with them being selfish assholes. So she does need to let go of that idea that this is somehow indicative of her worth or in some way becaue of her. She deserves better. She deserves more. She seems like a very caring and selfless person that should be lifted and supported, not dropped like this. So yeah she should let that go.
I didnt say don't care. It's going to suck and it's going to hurt. But she shouldn't be eating herself up over it.

Quoting AngelSinger: Her husband left her, and her foster child canceled her adoption; she lost both husband and child today. How did you read that post and think, “stop caring what other people think, it has nothing to do with you”?

Quoting Anonymous 4: Your worth isn't defined by those around you. Stop looking there for validation. What everyone around you is doing has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them so let that go.
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