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Infidelity

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 57 Replies

I dont know what to say. My Christmas spirit has left me, and it all started last week. I discovered something that I havnt told anyone about. My husband was messaging another woman between 12-4am while he was out of town on facebook. I only know bc she messaged him after he fell asleep and he left his facebook up at home. I only saw the last message and it was enough (along with his history of liking her photos) to let me know something was going on. It read, verbatim "Im so busy its med time. I SO wish I could..."

I wanted to try and gather evidence and procede.....until I noticed he deleted her as a friend after I responded to him that Id slept horribly.  So, I bit the bullet and confronted him on the phone next morning. This was after I saw he'd been friends with her for awhile and somehow he blocked me from seeing it from my personal facebook. I basically said this "Im hurt by what I saw and its clear that something is going on. Its time you came out with what this is, if you care for me, I deserve that"  

He "explained" aka mansplained everything "oh, were not friends, she just reached out from seeing me on my bros profile, ect, ect" and then not like him at all "Baby I love you, Id never" You know the gist. After that we havnt spoke of it. Hes home now and has been way more loving than normal. But not a word has been said.I researched before he returned home, and took photos, of the multiple times he liked he stuff and commented and liked her profile pics (not like him at all) and he is plain lying.

My question is, how do I approach this again, productively and tactfully? Bc it has to be done, my heart is hurting and I love him but Im not wiling to turn a blind eye. I just want him to be truthful so we can fix things (bash away but I wont respond, I love him and I havnt been the most giving wife in the attention or sex dept, we both have blame)

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2017 at 11:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 21, 2017 at 12:06 AM

BUMP!

NatesMyBoy
by Gold Member on Nov. 21, 2017 at 12:07 AM

If you're not cool with online chatting like that he needs to respect that and stop.  Is she local? If not I'd move on and work on whatever is going on in your marriage. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 21, 2017 at 12:09 AM
1 mom liked this
It’s a crime to like pics? I must be cheating when I like dog photos...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 21, 2017 at 12:09 AM

Im okay with it until he deletes everthing right away, like he did with her. And hiding that he was friends with her. She is not local. They went to HS together 30 years plus ago

Quoting NatesMyBoy:

If you're not cool with online chatting like that he needs to respect that and stop.  Is she local? If not I'd move on and work on whatever is going on in your marriage. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 21, 2017 at 12:10 AM

Absolutely not, except its out of character and he blocked me from seeing he did it. Its only her selfies

Quoting Anonymous 2: It’s a crime to like pics? I must be cheating when I like dog photos...


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 21, 2017 at 12:11 AM
Go to surviving infidelity.com you're going to need it. This is just the tip of the iceburg. He's showing you who he is "believe him" don't listen to his words, watch his actions. If you guys share an iCloud account (assuming you guys have iPhones or even a mac). Go to teen safe. And it will show you all deleted texts and websites . It will recall everything. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Google_Me_Now
by Don’t Trust Google on Nov. 21, 2017 at 12:13 AM
I’m sorry, that has to hurt. But he does owe you the truth.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 21, 2017 at 12:13 AM
My boyfriend won’t even accept my friend request on Facebook. We’ve been together for 5 years.

Just let it go.

Facebook is stupid and it destroys many a relationship.



Quoting Anonymous 1:

Absolutely not, except its out of character and he blocked me from seeing he did it. Its only her selfies

Quoting Anonymous 2: It’s a crime to like pics? I must be cheating when I like dog photos...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 21, 2017 at 12:15 AM

Im technologically illiterate lol, so this makes half sense. Part of the reason Im posting, and Im a regular poster who NEVER goes anon, is bc I dont want to continue this crazy snooping Ive been doing recently. I am not this person. Aside from the fact he deletes everything, I just dont like being that person.....

Quoting Anonymous 3: Go to surviving infidelity.com you're going to need it. This is just the tip of the iceburg. He's showing you who he is "believe him" don't listen to his words, watch his actions. If you guys share an iCloud account (assuming you guys have iPhones or even a mac). Go to teen safe. And it will show you all deleted texts and websites . It will recall everything. I'm so sorry you're going through this.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 21, 2017 at 12:16 AM

I dont play that game....or this one either, thats why Im posting....

Quoting Anonymous 2: My boyfriend won’t even accept my friend request on Facebook. We’ve been together for 5 years. Just let it go. Facebook is stupid and it destroys many a relationship.
Quoting Anonymous 1:

Absolutely not, except its out of character and he blocked me from seeing he did it. Its only her selfies

Quoting Anonymous 2: It’s a crime to like pics? I must be cheating when I like dog photos...



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