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How to deal with an "unclean friend"

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies
Dd has a friend( both girls are 10) that often looks unclean and sometimes smells.In addition she always has some kind of sickness, Step throat,pink eye,even worms! I'm a germaphobe,so I don't even like for this girl to come in our house.

On one hand I feel like a bitch for not wanting this girl around.On the other,I feel justified. Her parents and siblings seem to be groomed properly.Ikd? Maybe it's preteen rebellion and she won't bathe.

I'm not sure how deal with this? I don't want to say anything to the girl and crush her.I don't think I'm comfortable with telling a Mom that I barely know,that her child smells.WWYD?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 21, 2017 at 8:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 21, 2017 at 9:04 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 21, 2017 at 9:06 PM
You’d think she’d know from other kids...overhearing them, gossip, etc.
can’t she smell her own body odor? And I’m sorry but my kids went through a small rebellious stage too but I put my foot down about showering.
redheadtmk
by Ruby Member on Nov. 21, 2017 at 9:06 PM
4 moms liked this

I would get to know her. A lot of families have a "designated bad child" who is literally the scapegoat for all of the families frustrations, failings, and any wrongdoings with no witnesses. It could be a cry for help. It could be that she is just dirty. Either way she needs compassion.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 21, 2017 at 9:09 PM

It could be pre-teen stuff and most of the time kids don't realize they smell so bad.

As far as the illnesses, I'm sure this girl doesn't want worms, strep throat or pink eye and it's unfortunate fate that she has had these things...however they are pretty common.

I think you need to figure out how you are going to deal with it, because you cannot approach the parents or this girl without ending the friendship your daughter has with her.

sheramom4
by Emerald Member on Nov. 21, 2017 at 9:11 PM
1 mom liked this

So your own child never gets common childhood illnesses? 

She may need deodorant and her parents don't realize it. 10 can be on the young side. The rest of it sounds like preteen rebellion. 

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Nov. 21, 2017 at 9:14 PM
DS had a friend who reeked and I didn't know how to handle it either. He was 11yo and started that gross tween/teen boy stench.

They moved before I worked out how to deal with it.
Google_Me_Now
by Don’t Trust Google on Nov. 21, 2017 at 9:19 PM
Have your daughter say something, or deal with it..
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 21, 2017 at 9:19 PM
I would talk to her, maybe there is no one talking to her about these things.
PJMM
by Ruby Member on Nov. 21, 2017 at 9:20 PM
Somehow I'm picturing an OT bible incident where the girl is taken to the Hebrew elders to be checked for leprosy and pronounced unclean or clean. Seriously you lost me at she has had pinkeye and strep. Her and lots of kids. Buy her a nice gift set of bubble baths and perfume for Christmas. Ones for little girls. Yds used to love this chocolate scented bubble bath. I can't find it anymore but it's how I got him to take a bath.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 21, 2017 at 9:33 PM
Sometimes,but that doesn't mean I want our household exposed on a regular bases.

Quoting sheramom4:

So your own child never gets common childhood illnesses? 

She may need deodorant and her parents don't realize it. 10 can be on the young side. The rest of it sounds like preteen rebellion. 

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