Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I gave up my adopted son

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 45 Replies
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/nov/21/adoption-anita-tedaldi


Thoughts on this article?

I personally find it appalling. The article was all about her, and how hard it was for her. She claims she wrote it to help people, yet I don't see anywhere advice was given. Regrets. Things she should have done differently. Her husband seemed to want to get rid of him. Her kids barely acknowledged him. And she keeps referring to him as her son over and over. I find it highly irritating when clearly she never saw him as her son. IMO she wrote this for people to feel sorry about what she went through. I feel sorry for the boy. I do think she made the right decision giving him away though, because clearly he was not loved in that home.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 23, 2017 at 9:07 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2017 at 9:10 AM
Oh and I also find it sickening she didn't keep anything of his. Not even photos except one small one. That's fucked up! I hope she at least gave them to him so he could see what he looked like as a little boy. Geezus I hate people sometimes.
momto2boys973
by Sapphire Member on Nov. 23, 2017 at 9:18 AM

Yeah, I couldn’t get past the part of her talking with “Dan’s new mommy”. I felt like she was talking about a puppy, not a person. 

Hopefully this little boy that apparently has suffered since he was born will now have a good life.

Geeez17
by Emerald Member on Nov. 23, 2017 at 9:20 AM
1 mom liked this
I have to agree with you.

It was definitely in Dan's best interest to not be a part of that family. IMO that little boy would not have thrived to his full potential. Even a his age kids can sense when something isn't right. Glad to hear he is doing well and with a family that will give him all the love and support he deserves.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2017 at 9:20 AM
Yes! That's exactly how I felt. She was talking about him like a dog. Terrible.

Quoting momto2boys973:

Yeah, I couldn’t get past the part of her talking with “Dan’s new mommy”. I felt like she was talking about a puppy, not a person. 

Hopefully this little boy that apparently has suffered since he was born will now have a good life.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2017 at 9:23 AM
1 mom liked this
I really hope he's in the right home now and thriving. He deserves it.

Quoting Geeez17: I have to agree with you.

It was definitely in Dan's best interest to not be a part of that family. IMO that little boy would not have thrived to his full potential. Even a his age kids can sense when something isn't right. Glad to hear he is doing well and with a family that will give him all the love and support he deserves.
Sheila79
by Ruby Member on Nov. 23, 2017 at 9:24 AM
I agree. I'm glad he has a better home with a mom that actually loves him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 23, 2017 at 9:40 AM
A friend of mine adopted a special needs boy out of the foster care system. His foster family was given first dibs but even though they had him for 3 years the foster parents knew he was going to be too much for them as he got older. He was put in the foster care from the time he was born. His birth mother did drugs and drank throughout his pregnancy. My friend has stayed connected with his foster family. They spend his birthdays together. The foster mother did love him. My friend definitely struggled with feelings/thoughts that it wasn't going to work, especially their first year. Feelings of wanting to give up. But they've made it. He just turned 9 last month. Mentally he's between 2&3. He's autistic, ADHD, and has other issues.

I can sympathize with this mother because of my friends experience. I don't want to condem this woman. The story is SO sad. I can't imagine giving up on a child but then I've never been in a situation like this woman and her family. It's all heartbreaking.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 23, 2017 at 9:43 AM
I'm so glad Dan found a different family. One that is able to give him what he needs. He may be a child that can't attach. This new family seems that they will be able to handle that and stick with him anyway.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 23, 2017 at 9:49 AM
She is a piece of shit.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2017 at 9:52 AM
1 mom liked this
I can agree that it's hard. But I think anyone who is adopting should go to classes and counseling to prepare themselves for what they might encounter. I feel like if her own biological child became special needs, she wouldn't have given her up. So if you're adopting a child you can't have the mindset that if it doesn't work out you can always give them back. Your friend struggled and she made it through. Motherhood is hard. Sometimes I cry and don't know how I'll do it with my own kids. But giving them away is not an option. I just don't understand why adopted kids are so easily given back. I believe the statistics are 1 in 5. That's so high! Maybe I read it wrong, but thats just too much.

Quoting Anonymous 2: A friend of mine adopted a special needs boy out of the foster care system. His foster family was given first dibs but even though they had him for 3 years the foster parents knew he was going to be too much for them as he got older. He was put in the foster care from the time he was born. His birth mother did drugs and drank throughout his pregnancy. My friend has stayed connected with his foster family. They spend his birthdays together. The foster mother did love him. My friend definitely struggled with feelings/thoughts that it wasn't going to work, especially their first year. Feelings of wanting to give up. But they've made it. He just turned 9 last month. Mentally he's between 2&3. He's autistic, ADHD, and has other issues.

I can sympathize with this mother because of my friends experience. I don't want to condem this woman. The story is SO sad. I can't imagine giving up on a child but then I've never been in a situation like this woman and her family. It's all heartbreaking.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)