Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Nope. Not Doing It...not censoring myself in MY home

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Long story short
A very, very close family friend died

She was only 34.

One of my family members was asked to help with arrangements but she needed a babysitter. I kept her two daughters from Saturday until yesterday. When they got back they told their mom they were confused because I said "I don't believe when you die you become an Angel" mind you, I did say it but I was talking to MY children about OUR beliefs. When I noticed they were listening I emphasized everyone believes differently. Now their mom is calling me telling me I took away the only thing they had to hold on to and I should have kept my beliefs to myself.

Um no buddy I'm not going to stop speaking to MY kids about OUR beliefs in MY HOME. It's not like this is news to you. You knew my beliefs before they came!

Vent over.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 23, 2017 at 11:16 AM
Replies (11-20):
catonastick
by Gold Member on Nov. 23, 2017 at 11:38 AM

I'm on your side.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 23, 2017 at 11:38 AM
Oh boy
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Nov. 23, 2017 at 11:39 AM
1 mom liked this
You sound like a bitch, tbh.
SlightlyPerfect
by Ruby Member on Nov. 23, 2017 at 11:40 AM
Exactly. A person can only control his/her response to others.

Quoting Anonymous 4:

It is not a contest.  It is not all or nothing either.  Her beliefs are not Christian. You can both give each other a little space and a little forgiveness.  You don't both have to be self centered brats.

Quoting Anonymous 1:
Quoting SlightlyPerfect: She's hurting right now. Give her some space and just be there for her, especially when she comes to apologize. She will feel even more vulnerable and will need your support.


I am hurting just as badly

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2017 at 2:44 PM

right back atcha babe

Quoting Anonymous 6: You sound like a bitch, tbh.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2017 at 2:45 PM

Exactly.  I cannot control her reaction to how I deal with things in MY home

Quoting SlightlyPerfect: Exactly. A person can only control his/her response to others.
Quoting Anonymous 4:

It is not a contest.  It is not all or nothing either.  Her beliefs are not Christian. You can both give each other a little space and a little forgiveness.  You don't both have to be self centered brats.

Quoting Anonymous 1:
Quoting SlightlyPerfect: She's hurting right now. Give her some space and just be there for her, especially when she comes to apologize. She will feel even more vulnerable and will need your support.
I am hurting just as badly



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2017 at 2:46 PM

thank you.

I can't believe I got called a bitch for this

Quoting catonastick:

I'm on your side.


Phoenix_lament
by Fawkes on Nov. 23, 2017 at 2:47 PM
This.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

Yeah, she'll live.  

Even if she's religious (Christian), the notion that you "become an angel" isn't Biblically accurate, so I'm not sure what she's basing that on.  Going to Heaven, yes.  Being in the presence of Jesus and the Angels, yes.  Actually becoming an Angel, no.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 23, 2017 at 2:50 PM

you're right

Quoting SlightlyPerfect: But she was involved in arrangements personally. She also holds a belief when we die we still live on in some way, which anesthetizes her to the finality of death and instead makes it a transition. Reconciling that type of belief (she's probably left unquestioned for her whole life) with reality compouds grief in a way those who don't hold that belief don't have to deal with. She has to work through not just death but ideology and a false theology. I'm not saying one person's grief is worse or better than another's; it's just different, and it manifests differently. You're hurting, too, but you have the means to approach her with clarity and provide a level of emapthy that others might lack.
Quoting Anonymous 1:
Quoting SlightlyPerfect: She's hurting right now. Give her some space and just be there for her, especially when she comes to apologize. She will feel even more vulnerable and will need your support.
I am hurting just as badly


Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Nov. 23, 2017 at 2:55 PM
5 moms liked this
It's called compassion and empathy. It's called being a decent person.

I'm atheist, and my nephews were in MY HOME after their dad passed away. They believe in heaven and there was no way I was going to be cruel and debate with them my beliefs.

My son asked a question about heaven and I pulled him aside and said nobody really knows what happens but many people believe in heaven and it's not wrong to believe that even if we don't. Then I continued to say that his cousins are hurting and lets be mindful of that and talk about our beliefs later.

You are such an ass imo.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

Exactly.  I cannot control her reaction to how I deal with things in MY home

Quoting SlightlyPerfect: Exactly. A person can only control his/her response to others.

Quoting Anonymous 4:

It is not a contest.  It is not all or nothing either.  Her beliefs are not Christian. You can both give each other a little space and a little forgiveness.  You don't both have to be self centered brats.

Quoting Anonymous 1:
Quoting SlightlyPerfect: She's hurting right now. Give her some space and just be there for her, especially when she comes to apologize. She will feel even more vulnerable and will need your support.


I am hurting just as badly

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)