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DD15 is pregnant , Me and DH are trying to start up a shop ..i feel like i need to be divided into 2 people :(

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2017 at 7:24 AM
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1 mom liked this
DD15 is 2 months pregnant.
I was expecting it but was hoping it wouldnt happen before she was 16.
She has Borderline Personality Disorder and refused any other form of birth control other than the pill, but then wouldnt take the pill on a regular basis because 'they made her feel strange' (doesnt make sense to me, but to her thats where her mindset was).
In either case...
She was told that she would get 100% support from me in whatever decision she made about the baby.
She says she wants to keep it.
I told her i would help her raise the baby, and that they could stay here under the condition that she continued with her schooling and i would babysit.
I also told her she needs to take prenatal and parenting classes.
She takes her prenatel vitamins daily and her BPD medications which i am grateful for.
My recently new DH and I, also want to open up a auto shop...something that will secure our future for all 4 of us. Him in the shop and me taking care of the office.
I know ill have to divide my time between the shop and DD/baby.
We are starting small.
I was home all last week..This past Monday me and DD spent the whole day together going to appointments and shopping. Tuesday i was home as well.
I focused on the shop for 2 days but was home by 6:30.
Yesterday DD messaged me asking where i was, i told her.
She went on a huge fit saying i never spend any time with her and that i am always 'at the shop' and how i always put my DH first...totally NOT the case!
I explained that me and her have 2 appointments today and then we had our cousins baby shower on Saturday so i was trying to get some things done at the shop before spending those 2 days with her...
It didnt matter what i said, she had that idea stuck in her head that i am never there for her and she was all alone..
I asked if she wanted to walk over to the shop and help me so i could be done faster and so that she was a part of the 'family business' she refused telling me that she shouldnt have to come to the shop and i should be at home with my child.
Uhm ...you are 15!! You thought you were old enough to lay down with a boy and get pregnant but you cant entertain yourself for a few hours??
I know that it was the BPD taking over on her and her having a hard time controlling it.
When i got home she just kept it up for over an hour before she would calmly listen to me and realize that im only trying to do whats best for everyone and for our future.
Im hoping that we can have a calm talk today at her DBT therapy appt and work out a compromise.
For the woman on here that have BPD, do you have any suggestions?

by on Nov. 24, 2017 at 7:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Nov. 24, 2017 at 7:25 AM
3 moms liked this
I don't have bpd but would think abortion would be the best decision.
GentleHeartsPA
by Lanie on Nov. 24, 2017 at 7:28 AM
1 mom liked this
She is refusing to have an abortion and i cant make her.
At this point all i can do is support her in whatever decision she chooses.


Quoting owl0210: I don't have bpd but would think abortion would be the best decision.
alexmom529
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2017 at 7:28 AM
3 moms liked this
I think she's just emotional because hormones. When I was pregnant with ds I got mad at dh going to work- even though I knew he had to
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 24, 2017 at 7:29 AM
1 mom liked this
So What will she do for bc after baby, or will she just keep making excuses and get pregnant again
owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Nov. 24, 2017 at 7:30 AM
14 moms liked this
I'm sorry. This is a really sad situation based on the posts you made about your daughter. If not an abortion then at least consider adoption so that the baby can be raised in a healthy environment. Your daughter is too sick to be a mother let alone too young.

Quoting GentleHeartsPA: She is refusing to have an abortion and i cant make her.
At this point all i can do is support her in whatever decision she chooses.


Quoting owl0210: I don't have bpd but would think abortion would be the best decision.
DanaG70
by Ruby Member on Nov. 24, 2017 at 7:30 AM
7 moms liked this
She’s no where near ready to be a mother.
GentleHeartsPA
by Lanie on Nov. 24, 2017 at 7:30 AM
We have already had a discussion about that , she said that she is open to other forms of birth control such as the IUD.

Quoting Anonymous 1: So What will she do for bc after baby, or will she just keep making excuses and get pregnant again
GentleHeartsPA
by Lanie on Nov. 24, 2017 at 7:32 AM
She is refusing adoption as well (at this point anyways) she may choose to do that later on down the road however.


Quoting owl0210: I'm sorry. This is a really sad situation based on the posts you made about your daughter. If not an abortion then at least consider adoption so that the baby can be raised in a healthy environment. Your daughter is too sick to be a mother let alone too young.

Quoting GentleHeartsPA: She is refusing to have an abortion and i cant make her.
At this point all i can do is support her in whatever decision she chooses.


Quoting owl0210: I don't have bpd but would think abortion would be the best decision.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 24, 2017 at 7:33 AM
5 moms liked this
A child with mental illness is not a fit for motherhood

Quoting GentleHeartsPA: We have already had a discussion about that , she said that she is open to other forms of birth control such as the IUD.

Quoting Anonymous 1: So What will she do for bc after baby, or will she just keep making excuses and get pregnant again
xixCandyxix
by Candy on Nov. 24, 2017 at 7:34 AM
1 mom liked this
You know borderlines have the all or nothing thinking. Be happy she made it 2 days of not seeing you. I used to lose it if my husband didn't answer the phone for the more than an hour or didn't get home from work on time. Just hope and pray she calms down when she's older. When I turned 25 my bpd died down a lot. I also know not to antagonize myself now.
Good luck.
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