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He isn’t ready anymore and I’m heartbroken

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 147 Replies
I joined this site because DH and I were acrively ttc-ing. We had both been on board when we started and he seemed excited about it.

Yesterday, he decided to bring it up on the way to thanksgiving dinner, and said that he wasn’t ready anymore and that he can’t stop thinking about all the things we can do now that we can’t do when we have a baby. He wants to wait another 5 years, he said. He also said he is strongly against fostering or adoption, something we’d talked about a lot in the past and he’d always been open to.

I told him I felt differently, but that I was never going to force him to be ready before he is. So we are going to be waiting an indefinite amount of time. I’m crushed because I’m ready right now and was all geared up.

I know I don’t belong on this site anymore so I will be deleting my account after this. I just wanted to vent it out and I can’t talk to anyone in real life about it.

Thanks.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 24, 2017 at 9:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ReedusStalker
by 11-15/3-27 on Nov. 24, 2017 at 9:22 AM
2 moms liked this

Can you compromise with him and wait 3 years instead of 5?  It can't be his way or nothing, you know

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 24, 2017 at 9:22 AM

wow, he sounds like a real peach. I would be pissed off too...and if I wanted a baby enough I would consider divorce.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 24, 2017 at 9:24 AM
How old are you guys?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 24, 2017 at 9:25 AM
He’s really an amazing guy and husband and we have a great marriage. I’m more hurt and disappointed than angry, but I can’t fault him for his feelings. You can’t make someone be ready for something like that.

I would never ever divorce him over this; even if it meant going a lifetime without children. I’m just trying to process this change from where I thought our life was headed.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

wow, he sounds like a real peach. I would be pissed off too...and if I wanted a baby enough I would consider divorce.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 24, 2017 at 9:25 AM
28 and 29

Quoting Anonymous 3: How old are you guys?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 24, 2017 at 9:27 AM
What exactly can't you do after having a baby?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 24, 2017 at 9:28 AM
You still have time. Give it a year and maybe he will change his mind. It will happen eventually.

Quoting Anonymous 1: 28 and 29

Quoting Anonymous 3: How old are you guys?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 24, 2017 at 9:29 AM
1 mom liked this
Maybe he's cheating
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 24, 2017 at 9:30 AM

I am wondering if anything else in his life has made him change his mind.

Quoting Anonymous 1: He’s really an amazing guy and husband and we have a great marriage. I’m more hurt and disappointed than angry, but I can’t fault him for his feelings. You can’t make someone be ready for something like that. I would never ever divorce him over this; even if it meant going a lifetime without children. I’m just trying to process this change from where I thought our life was headed.
Quoting Anonymous 2:

wow, he sounds like a real peach. I would be pissed off too...and if I wanted a baby enough I would consider divorce.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Nov. 24, 2017 at 9:31 AM

Im sorry for your hurt over this. Hoping for good things for your future. take care.

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