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She needs to realize that we are married now and things have to change

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I have been married to my husband for only 6 months. I knew that he and his mother were very close and I knew that this would continue. But we talked about the fact that when we got married, he was going to have to back off a little bit in regards to things he does for her. He used to go over to her house at least once a week to help her with small projects around the house he would go over to her house for dinner at least twice a week. He also talked to her on the phone at least once a day and several texts throughout the day ( all initiated by her).

When we talked about it before we got married we agreed that we would invite her to our house for dinner once a week and once a month he could go over to her house to help with a few projects here and there for a couple of hours. As far as talking and calling he still talks to her but if we're spending time together he does not return her calls or text messages right away this has always been the way it is, when we were together he never took her calls. The difference is we are together a lot more now. The problem is even though he has talked to her several times about it she doesn't seem to get it. For example we could be watching a movie together and she will text message him. If he doesn't text back within 5 minutes she will call if he doesn't answer the call so call again if he still doesn't answer the call so start calling my phone and she'll call her phone's back and forth until one of us answer. Sometimes he will text her back saying hey I'm busy right now I'll call you later and she'll text back but it's urgent. Even though it turns out to be nothing that couldn't have waited till the next day. She pesters him to come over to her house constantly.
This is only getting to be more of a problem because I am 5 months pregnant. Aside from being married and living together now my husband's going to have to focus on our child as well and is going to have even less time to spend with his mother.

Not only that but his mother is pushing in on my pregnancy. She assumed that she would be going to the ultrasound 2 weeks ago to find out the gender. She also assumed she would be in the delivery room. She was not welcome at either. At the ultrasound it was just the two of us. In the delivery room it'll be the two of us my mother and my sister. She feels thats unfair because my mother and sister will be in the room and she won't. But if my husband was the one up in stirrups with his private business displayed for the entire room I assure you if he wanted his mom in the room I would agree to that and I would obviously agree to my mom and my sister not being there. My husband backs me up on her not being in the delivery room.

This is just a few of the problems I have had with her. How do we get her to let go just a little bit? To understand that she cannot be the center of his world anymore. I understand that she is a widow and that he is her only child but at some point she has to understand that he has created his own family and we have to be his main Focus.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 7, 2017 at 1:01 PM
Replies (451-453):
by on Dec. 9, 2017 at 8:04 PM
I’m lucky in that my in laws have good boundaries. They live two hours away but are cool and I enjoy them when we see them.
That said
Parents are supposed to raise their children to be productive self sufficient adults . It’s wrong to
Lean on your children, even the grown ones.
I understand your annoyance OP. I would reccomend your hubby just keep ignoring when he doesnt want to talk to
Her. Like training a puppy lol.
And logically she would call 911 if she had an actual physical emergency. Knowing about it in real time won’t make something not happen.
by Anonymous 88 on Dec. 9, 2017 at 8:50 PM
For God's sake it's her only child what did u expect, she was with him his whole life and now that he married you, you think he should drop her cuz you came in the picture.

Its not fair for you to put him on the spot, I think there's enough love to go around for both of you ladies. Stop this stupid game of who comes first or who is more important. You might b the wife as long as you are married to him but she's the mom and will continue being the mom. As far as the baby comes it will be as equally important.

Poor dude seems like both you ladies are fighting of who comes in 1st place.
by Gold Member on Dec. 9, 2017 at 10:52 PM

This is sad...she feels lonely poor your dh will have to know how to balance this.

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