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Would you allow your kids to miss out on better gifts because of the step kids?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 44 Replies
DH has two kids from a previous relationship, 10 and 8. He pays child support. Kids live with their mom and step dad, along with several other adults in BM family. SK regularly tell my kids about all the things everyone buys for them and they things they get to do that my kids miss out on. My husband’s parents also get them better gifts than my kids.

I have 5 kids from 2 up to 10. They live with us full time, their bio dad is out of their lives. I want to get a present for the older three, but can’t afford to also get it for DH’s two.

Would you get it anyway or just forgo it?

Update-So, I talked to husband and we decided to go ahead and get the gifts I really wanted to get. We will give them to the kids when the SK are not here. Yes, I work full time. Yes husband works full time. Yes husband pays child support. No, I do not receive child support, a choice husband and I made together. BM lives with her husband and her parents and pays no bills.

BM makes it a point to one up us and get her kids more expensive gifts. The kids wanted a go cart and told her we may get them one and BM’s DH called us and asked if that was true. As if it’s any of their concern what we get the kids for Christmas.

I know some of you will bash, I don’t care. I am sick of the SK bragging about all the shit they get to do and have while mine have to listen to it. We try so hard to keep things equal, to not do fun activities until they are with us, my kids deserve something for themselves that SK don’t get.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 8, 2017 at 10:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 8, 2017 at 10:09 AM
Forgo it. Are his two the only two at their moms? Sorry it’s not those kids fault that you have 5 children(mine are your husband’s bio kids right?) how long have you been married?
ilovemykids323
by on Dec. 8, 2017 at 10:12 AM

are the step kids going to get any presents from you/there dad? if not then i'd forgo it... if yes then i guess it dependds what it is and how much it costs. my kids are 9 and under and i dont worry about cost they all get the same number of gifts.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 8, 2017 at 10:12 AM
Yes, they will all get the same amount of gift

Quoting ilovemykids323:

are the step kids going to get any presents from you/there dad? if not then i'd forgo it... if yes then i guess it dependds what it is and how much it costs. my kids are 9 and under and i dont worry about cost they all get the same number of gifts.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 8, 2017 at 10:13 AM
1 mom liked this
In this situation my kids will always come first and will never be made to feel like seond class citizens in their own home.

Step kids would be told what they are given is what’s afforded and not meant to be the full Christmas because they receive that at their mothers
ilovemykids323
by on Dec. 8, 2017 at 10:14 AM

then i see no problem getting your kids what you want to get your kids. :)

Quoting Anonymous 1: Yes, they will all get the same amount of gift
Quoting ilovemykids323:

are the step kids going to get any presents from you/there dad? if not then i'd forgo it... if yes then i guess it dependds what it is and how much it costs. my kids are 9 and under and i dont worry about cost they all get the same number of gifts.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 8, 2017 at 10:15 AM

Yes, go ahead and get it anyway.

Manic_Sinner
by 5/27/2018🤰🏽 on Dec. 8, 2017 at 10:16 AM
I would probably get something small, I wouldn’t go overboard. I’d feel bad just getting my kids something.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 8, 2017 at 10:21 AM
Can you buy them all one gift from you guys to all the kids???
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Dec. 8, 2017 at 10:24 AM
1 mom liked this
My priority is always MY children. The step kids have their own parents to worry about them.

So yes, I’d buy my kids whatever I wanted with my money, for Christmas.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 8, 2017 at 10:25 AM
The stepkids shouldn’t feel like second class citizens at their dads house. My ex step mom tried this at my dad. She said because her kids Dad didn’t pay child support and didn’t see them.(she said he didn’t have to pay and he lives states away and didn’t want to pay to see them). My dad shut her down and said that it wasn’t his fault that she made that decision(when they got married her ex pay child support and she let him stop without talking to me Dad) and my brother and I wouldn’t be treated that way. And if she wanted extras for her kids she should get a job to help

Quoting Anonymous 3: In this situation my kids will always come first and will never be made to feel like seond class citizens in their own home.

Step kids would be told what they are given is what’s afforded and not meant to be the full Christmas because they receive that at their mothers
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