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She doesn't want the baby adopted into the family

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 229 Replies
My younger sister is 16, and pregnant. The father is her boyfriend of a few months, also 16. They're seriously discussing placing the baby for adoption, which is great. neither one is in any position to raise a child, obviously. They're both sophomores, no jobs, and they're 16. His parents are totally on board with placing the baby through an agency. The monkey wrench here is, my older sister wants to adopt the baby. She's been working with an agency for about two years now with no prospective adoptions yet, and she sees this as her chance to have a baby. My younger sister absolutely does not want the baby adopted by our older sister, she doesn't want the baby in the family. She isn't even sure at this point if she even wants an open adoption or if she just wants to relinquish the baby and have the agency place the baby. Our mother and other sister are pushing her hard, with threats to kick her out, take her car, ground her, if she doesn't give the baby to our older sister.

My younger sister has been staying with me for about a week now because of that, so of course now I'm the bad guy as well. I just don't know how else to help her.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 9, 2017 at 7:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 9, 2017 at 7:48 AM
It’s her choice. Can she try to explain why to them?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 9, 2017 at 7:48 AM
3 moms liked this

I think the irresponsible spoiled brat should allow the sister to adopt.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 9, 2017 at 7:49 AM

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 9, 2017 at 7:50 AM
She has, it doesn't matter to them. My older sister heard she was pregnant, and it seems like she just took that to mean she was finally getting a baby, especially once she said she was planning on placing the baby for adoption. Now all she hears is that she's losing "her" baby

Quoting Anonymous 2: It’s her choice. Can she try to explain why to them?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 9, 2017 at 7:51 AM
1 mom liked this
She doesn't want to, and I fully respect and understand her reasons for that. Especially after the way she's acted, basically trying to threaten and bully her way into having a baby.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

I think the irresponsible spoiled brat should allow the sister to adopt.

MonarchMom22
by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2017 at 7:52 AM
4 moms liked this

Does the agency your pregnant sister is considering have a social worker or counselor that can speak to the whole family.  They may need an outside impartial professional to help them understand why she feels she can't just hand the baby to her sister and move on with her life.

PJMM
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2017 at 7:53 AM
19 moms liked this
She doesn't sound particularly spoiled. All her life she'd have to see this child she gave up at family events. I understand her problem. By law it's her decision. I think also dad has a say.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

I think the irresponsible spoiled brat should allow the sister to adopt.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 9, 2017 at 7:53 AM
8 moms liked this
Irresponsible, yes. Spoiled brat, no. She shouldn't be forced to give her child to anyone she isn't comfortable with.

It's hard enough to give up a child. Maybe she doesn't want the added strain of watching someone else raise the child she was unable to do.



Quoting Anonymous 3:

I think the irresponsible spoiled brat should allow the sister to adopt.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 9, 2017 at 7:54 AM
The dad does have a say, but he's really more just going with what my sister says. He's fine with the adoption, but not super involved.

Quoting PJMM: She doesn't sound particularly spoiled. All her life she'd have to see this child she gave up at family events. I understand her problem. By law it's her decision. I think also dad has a say.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

I think the irresponsible spoiled brat should allow the sister to adopt.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 9, 2017 at 7:55 AM
Yes, but older sister won't speak with them.

Quoting MonarchMom22:

Does the agency your pregnant sister is considering have a social worker or counselor that can speak to the whole family.  They may need an outside impartial professional to help them understand why she feels she can't just hand the baby to her sister and move on with her life.

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