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Do you always tell your SO/DH?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 53 Replies
When you've had a chemical pregnancy/early loss?
We're not trying and for the most part we're preventing, but life happens, and during the last 3.5years I have had three.
The first one I didn't tell him anything at all, I only told him of this a year and a half later when I got pregnant with our now two year old, during a discussion about why I was adamant on keeping her.
The second one was in August, I told him while I was losing the pregnancy that I had a suspicion that it was a chemical due to being late and bleeding heavily with clots. I only told him because I was crying my eyes out and I needed him to comfort me. I got something along the lines of "it's not your fault" while in his eyes I could see he was relieved.
Now this time, I only told him that my period is funky and I feel like shit but no details.
Reason behind this, I feel he doesn't support me emotionally when it comes to this subjects, so I'd rather go through this alone. We do prevent, but my ovulation must have been off or something..
So do you tell them? Hiw do you cope emotionally if you don't?
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2017 at 12:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 10, 2017 at 12:15 AM
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What is a chemical pregnancy?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 10, 2017 at 12:19 AM
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Is he negative towards you or does he simply not feel the same emotions? I can understand how he wouldn't get emotional about a possible baby he never had a chance to get attached to in the first place.

If it happened to me, it wouldn't be a big deal to let my husband know what's going on. I ramble on about all kinds of things that are happening to me.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 10, 2017 at 12:20 AM
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That's so sad. I've only had one loss and that was at 18wks. DH was right there through it all with me. We mourned our baby boy together.

That's so sad your husband can't emotionally support you at such painful times.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 10, 2017 at 12:23 AM
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 I feel for you, I do! that is why I will tell you that how you word things is important. You're making it sound like this is a common problem everyone knows about, and yet not many do. I'm only pointing this out so you get the right kind of support you are needing at this moment.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Dec. 10, 2017 at 12:33 AM
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I’m sorry. I’m not sure what a chemical pregnancy means.
rebeccasmommy09
by Gold Member on Dec. 10, 2017 at 12:40 AM
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I’ve only had one loss thankfully and my dh was aware (I miscarried a few days after finding out I was pregnant). If I were to have a chemical pregnancy, I would definitely tell my dh. I would need his support and comfort while I grieved the loss. I’m sorry you’re going through one again and that you don’t have the support you need from your dh. *hugs*
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 10, 2017 at 12:42 AM
A chemical pregnancy is very early loss, the baby fails to implant correctly unfortunately.
Our relationship is not what I envisioned for myself growing up I must say. So while yes in part he can't understand why I would mourn this loss too, it is also to some extent us not being there for each other so much emotionally, or at least not how I thought my marital relationship would be.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Dec. 10, 2017 at 12:42 AM
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I haven’t had that experience, but I absolutely would tell him. I can’t imagine not telling him. He is very supportive though.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Dec. 10, 2017 at 12:50 AM
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There's no way I could keep that from him. I cannot keep secrets. Even just thinking of hiding that makes me uncomfortable.

DH would also be incredibly supportive.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Dec. 10, 2017 at 12:54 AM
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During these chemical pregnancies; have you had them confirmed by the dr or are you going on your gut? I only ask bc these are often very early miscarriages and maybe your not having a miscarriage. Have you seen a dr to find out why or to make sure your healthy enough to endure pregnancy? It sounds like your husband (I maybe wrong) isn’t taking it seriously because there’s been no medical proof.
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