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Who’s Wrong? The ex or me?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 106 Replies
Ok this could get really long if I give all the details, so I’ll give the basic facts and I’m happy to provide more if needed.

I have sole legal and physical custody of DS (12). Ex is not a good dad. He sees DS when he feels like it. We have no CO visitation. It’s at my discretion and I’m fairly open and liberal about it. I don’t allow sleepovers for a number of reasons, but ex only wants him for a couple hours on Sundays anyway.

I’m single and have pretty much stayed single since ex and I split about ten years ago. I haven’t wanted to live with anyone in all that time, but I’ve dated a number of people. I am able to support myself and DS (the only CS I receive is $25 a week and that is the only thing he does for DS aside from a few christmas and bday presents). Money is tight sometimes, but I am not on any form of PA at all and we manage.

My parents are getting older and though they both still work, they need my help an awful lot with anything online (lol), but even making phone calls and things like that. They love DS more than anything and one year ago my dad approached me about buying a house together for all of us. I said yes reluctantly (I have my own cute apartment, but it’s small and not in a neighborhood setting for DS). Flash forward to now, and we close on a beautiful new home in a wonderful neighborhood in January. It’s right across from the high school DS will be attending and so many of his friends live in the neighborhood as well. DS is ecstatic since he’s never lived in an actual house. He’s been in an apartment as long as he can remember.

So here’s where it gets tricky. 15 years ago my dad went to jail for 3 years because he was caught with cocaine (in large enough quantity to sell) Now... I know its Horrific. I know there is no excuse good enough to do what he did. I just have to explain that my brother was sick, very sick. He had cancer and his bills and expenses were piling up faster than anyone could keep up with. During his long stays in the hospital my dad would visit him daily, but because of gas, tolls, and parking those trips cost him $100 per day. He was never rich. He did what he thought he had to do, but it doesn’t make it right and he knows that. My brother did end up passing away and it was also horrible.

Ex was with me when all of this happened and went with me to visit my dad multiple times. We split while my dad was away. Since he’s been out ex hates him and he hates ex, but they were very close when we were together.

Anyway, ex is saying he doesn’t want me to live with my father with DS. He says he’ll take it to court if he has to, though my lawyer says he has no leg to stand on.

I know my dad would never do that sort of thing again, and quite frankly he’s gwtting older at this point and just wants to settle down. This is a wonderful opportunity for DS and he would be so sad if we ever couldn’t move.

So what do you all think? Sorry for the length of the post.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2017 at 8:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 12, 2017 at 8:19 PM
12 moms liked this
Stop speaking to your ex about it at all. Stop speaking to him about anything. The next time he comes to see his son, look him square in the eye and tell him to enjoy his time now, because if he takes you to court he'll never see his son again.
Starz6802
by Platinum Member on Dec. 12, 2017 at 8:20 PM
3 moms liked this
I think your loser ex needs to shut the hell up. Your dad did his time for his crime. I assume he’s been on the straight and narrow since? No judge is going to take that into consideration.
ShaMac
by Emerald Member on Dec. 12, 2017 at 8:20 PM
3 moms liked this
Ex is an unfit parent that can't even have over nights with his own child? Sounds like your dad was desperate and in a terrible situation that he made worse but paid for his crimes. If you know he is never doing something like that again and is now a fine upstanding citizen and that you guys can all live together in harmony, go for it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 12, 2017 at 8:23 PM
4 moms liked this
I think I wouldn't let my ex control my life and if he wants to take me to court, so be it. If he is only paying $25/wk in CS, I highly doubt he will shell out thousands to take me to court.
ilovemykids323
by on Dec. 12, 2017 at 8:24 PM

i dont think i'd worry about my ex's threats. enjoy your new home!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 12, 2017 at 8:24 PM
I don’t think he has a leg to stand on and I doubt he’ll even get a lawyer when he sees how much it costs, lol.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 12, 2017 at 8:25 PM
This is terrible advice.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Stop speaking to your ex about it at all. Stop speaking to him about anything. The next time he comes to see his son, look him square in the eye and tell him to enjoy his time now, because if he takes you to court he'll never see his son again.
emandab
by Platinum Member on Dec. 12, 2017 at 8:28 PM
I would have laughed at him and hung up. Seriously, you have nothing to worry about.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Dec. 12, 2017 at 8:28 PM
1 mom liked this
Your ex is obviously wrong. The court is not going to care at all about someone who paid their debt to society and has moved on with their life. Especially a non violent one time offender.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2017 at 8:31 PM
Well DS is 12 and I would never tell him not to tell his father something, so he shares stuff with him. He’s VERY excited about this move so he told his father. I generally try to keep convos with ex to a minimum. He did call and text about this issue multiple times, and I did respond mainly because I was so surprised. I never thought it would be an issue.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Stop speaking to your ex about it at all. Stop speaking to him about anything. The next time he comes to see his son, look him square in the eye and tell him to enjoy his time now, because if he takes you to court he'll never see his son again.
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