Question about funeral wake/calling whatever you call it...

[Anonymous]

FIl passed away Monday night in his sleep. He’s been sick with hospice for a short time so it wasn’t a shock. MIL, DH, and his siblings went to finish off the funeral plans (FIL has started with some of the plans a few weeks ago but had been unable to finish). SIL insisted on allowing 12 hours of wake time. The wake is from 12-8 on Friday, 10-2 Saturday and then the funeral is at 2 on Saturday. DH feels this is way too much. It’s taxing on the grieving family enough and to drag it out this much is ridiculous. DH said if people want to come and share their condolences, they will come in the allotted time. It doesn’t need to be a two day affair. I guess DH and his sister got into it about it and MIL was more on DH’s side but typical SIL threatened to not come so MIL gave in.

So my question is, how long do you guys think should an average wake be? The only ones I’ve ever known to be more than 4 or 6 hours have been teenagers.

[ilovemykids323]

that is way to much... usually the wake is the day before for a couple of hours and then like a 1 or 2 hr viewing the next day with teh funeral following that. personally i prefer hte funerals where the wake and the funeral all happen at the same time. most wakes i go to are like 4 hrs long. that's way to much and i would tell SIL to F off.

[weeping_angel]

Most people usually do 2 to 3 hours the night before and an hour before the service. At least in my area. Doing it all day like that is a little old fashioned.

[CStarz]

It is really up to the family. Traditionally, Catholics held a wake for 3 days but it is all up to the families now. 

[alexsmommy2010]

4 hours max. Recent wakes I've gone to is 2 hours then the service.

[Anonymous 2]

usually there are 2 sessions 2 hrs each for one day with a big break in between and then the funeral the next day.

[Saphira1207]

Your family needs to stop allowing your sil to control everything.  She's become an entitled brat who thinks the world revolves around her.

Wake = 4 hours total, how it's done is up to the WIFE, not the kids.

[Anonymous 1 - Original Poster]

DH even asked the funeral director they were meeting with how long she suggested and she said they usually do 4 hours the night before and an hour before the funeral. They are paying extra to have a longer wake.

Quoting ilovemykids323:

that is way to much... usually the wake is the day before for a couple of hours and then like a 1 or 2 hr viewing the next day with teh funeral following that. personally i prefer hte funerals where the wake and the funeral all happen at the same time. most wakes i go to are like 4 hrs long. that's way to much and i would tell SIL to F off.

[ilovemykids323]

yea i think majority should over rule her on this one... when my dad died i just wanted to get all of that over with not drag it on. there's no way i would have wanted to be there for a 2 day wake.... 

Quoting Anonymous 1: DH even asked the funeral director they were meeting with how long she suggested and she said they usually do 4 hours the night before and an hour before the funeral. They are paying extra to have a longer wake.

Quoting ilovemykids323:

that is way to much... usually the wake is the day before for a couple of hours and then like a 1 or 2 hr viewing the next day with teh funeral following that. personally i prefer hte funerals where the wake and the funeral all happen at the same time. most wakes i go to are like 4 hrs long. that's way to much and i would tell SIL to F off.

[Anonymous 3]

Either he was a very popular man, it's a religious thing, a cultural thing, or she's odd.

[Anonymous 4]

That’s way too long. I just had my father’s funeral this summer, and it was EXHAUSTING sitting there thanking people and greeting family members, friends, etc... for hours on end. We only did a couple hours and it was viewing, funeral, then we had a celebration of life gathering. I was tired.