Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Question about funeral wake/calling whatever you call it...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 69 Replies
FIl passed away Monday night in his sleep. He’s been sick with hospice for a short time so it wasn’t a shock. MIL, DH, and his siblings went to finish off the funeral plans (FIL has started with some of the plans a few weeks ago but had been unable to finish). SIL insisted on allowing 12 hours of wake time. The wake is from 12-8 on Friday, 10-2 Saturday and then the funeral is at 2 on Saturday. DH feels this is way too much. It’s taxing on the grieving family enough and to drag it out this much is ridiculous. DH said if people want to come and share their condolences, they will come in the allotted time. It doesn’t need to be a two day affair. I guess DH and his sister got into it about it and MIL was more on DH’s side but typical SIL threatened to not come so MIL gave in.

So my question is, how long do you guys think should an average wake be? The only ones I’ve ever known to be more than 4 or 6 hours have been teenagers.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 13, 2017 at 9:33 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
ilovemykids323
by on Dec. 13, 2017 at 9:35 AM

that is way to much... usually the wake is the day before for a couple of hours and then like a 1 or 2 hr viewing the next day with teh funeral following that. personally i prefer hte funerals where the wake and the funeral all happen at the same time. most wakes i go to are like 4 hrs long. that's way to much and i would tell SIL to F off.

weeping_angel
by Don't Blink on Dec. 13, 2017 at 9:35 AM
1 mom liked this
Most people usually do 2 to 3 hours the night before and an hour before the service. At least in my area. Doing it all day like that is a little old fashioned.
CStarz
by Rabble Rouser on Dec. 13, 2017 at 9:36 AM

It is really up to the family. Traditionally, Catholics held a wake for 3 days but it is all up to the families now. 

alexsmommy2010
by Silver Member on Dec. 13, 2017 at 9:36 AM
4 hours max. Recent wakes I've gone to is 2 hours then the service.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 13, 2017 at 9:36 AM

usually there are 2 sessions 2 hrs each for one day with a big break in between and then the funeral the next day.

Saphira1207
by Platinum Member on Dec. 13, 2017 at 9:39 AM

Your family needs to stop allowing your sil to control everything.  She's become an entitled brat who thinks the world revolves around her.

Wake = 4 hours total, how it's done is up to the WIFE, not the kids.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 13, 2017 at 9:42 AM
DH even asked the funeral director they were meeting with how long she suggested and she said they usually do 4 hours the night before and an hour before the funeral. They are paying extra to have a longer wake.

Quoting ilovemykids323:

that is way to much... usually the wake is the day before for a couple of hours and then like a 1 or 2 hr viewing the next day with teh funeral following that. personally i prefer hte funerals where the wake and the funeral all happen at the same time. most wakes i go to are like 4 hrs long. that's way to much and i would tell SIL to F off.

ilovemykids323
by on Dec. 13, 2017 at 9:45 AM

yea i think majority should over rule her on this one... when my dad died i just wanted to get all of that over with not drag it on. there's no way i would have wanted to be there for a 2 day wake.... 

Quoting Anonymous 1: DH even asked the funeral director they were meeting with how long she suggested and she said they usually do 4 hours the night before and an hour before the funeral. They are paying extra to have a longer wake.
Quoting ilovemykids323:

that is way to much... usually the wake is the day before for a couple of hours and then like a 1 or 2 hr viewing the next day with teh funeral following that. personally i prefer hte funerals where the wake and the funeral all happen at the same time. most wakes i go to are like 4 hrs long. that's way to much and i would tell SIL to F off.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 13, 2017 at 9:45 AM
Either he was a very popular man, it's a religious thing, a cultural thing, or she's odd.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 13, 2017 at 9:46 AM
That’s way too long. I just had my father’s funeral this summer, and it was EXHAUSTING sitting there thanking people and greeting family members, friends, etc... for hours on end. We only did a couple hours and it was viewing, funeral, then we had a celebration of life gathering. I was tired.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)