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Dh brother asked him to donate sperm

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 323 Replies
Dh brother recently found out he is sterile, he and his wife have been trying to get pregnant for months so they both went in to get checked out. So his brother asked him to donate sperm. Dh told his brother he would have to think about it and talk to me about it.

When we talked about it I got really upset. Maybe it's irrational but to me it feels like you would be making a baby with another woman. I mean technically that is what he would be doing. Even though he wouldn't be expected to raise that child that child would not be our niece or nephew it would be my husband's child and my step child. The whole situation was very emotionally and I actually started crying. I think a big part of it is our youngest is 2 years old and we said that she would be our last. But I'm not sure that I am okay with that now but I know he said he didn't want anymore and then here he is procreating elsewhere. I told him how i felt and he said that
he was on the phone's about it but if I'm not okay about it then he won't do it. He said that we are married so these kind of decisions have to be a joint decision . But he also said that he didn't know I wanted another one that he would be fine having another one so in addition to deciding that hes not donating, we have also decided we are having another baby.

He called his brother the next day to tell him that we are not comfortable with him donating sperm. That it would feel like it was his child. His brother was not happy about it but what was worse was that his brother's wife called me a little while later telling me that her husband refuses to go to a sperm bank and there's really nobody else to ask so this was her only chance to get pregnant. If my husband doesn't do this they are just going to look into adoption and she feels that silly since she is capable of carrying the baby ( obviously she has never done it but there's no reason to believe she isn't capable). I told her that I'm sorry but it sounds to me like she needs to work this out with her husband and explain how she feels and maybe talk him into the sperm egg thing but she's not going to talk us into having my husband donate. She said that we are being selfish and it's literally nothing to us to do this. This would mean that the child would be related to both of them. And since my husband and brother-in-law have the same parents, it really wouldn't be that much different to them then it being my brother-in-law's child. The child is just as much as likely to look like my husband's side of the family and my brother-in-law and husband look very similar. I told her I'm sorry but that's our answer.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 14, 2017 at 11:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 14, 2017 at 11:24 AM
Bump
redbottoms
by Ruby Member on Dec. 14, 2017 at 11:25 AM
I think they can just go to a sperm bank instead. I would offer to help them pay for the cost if I had the money to show you do indeed care about their infertility and helping them have a baby.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 14, 2017 at 11:26 AM
11 moms liked this
I think it's shitty for you guys to ttc now. Other than that I agree if you're not comfortable with it it's a joint decision.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 14, 2017 at 11:26 AM
3 moms liked this
I wouldn't want my dh donating sperm to anyone.
Melissa_4
by Navy Mom on Dec. 14, 2017 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this

If the shoe was on the other foot, she would feel very differently.  Is there a male first cousin they can ask?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 14, 2017 at 11:27 AM
No way! There are plenty of sperm donors out there. They don't need my husband's. Fuck that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 14, 2017 at 11:28 AM
2 moms liked this
I don't get some of you. It's freaking sperm.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Dec. 14, 2017 at 11:28 AM
5 moms liked this

Why?  Should the entire world stop procreating because some people can't?  This is THEIR family, their timeline, and their choice.  

Quoting Anonymous 2: I think it's shitty for you guys to ttc now. Other than that I agree if you're not comfortable with it it's a joint decision.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Dec. 14, 2017 at 11:29 AM
5 moms liked this
I'd be fine with it, you sound kinda crazy.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Dec. 14, 2017 at 11:29 AM

Can FIL or a relative donate his sperm (If BIL refuses to go to a sperm bank)? 

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