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Should you be able to adopt kids if you aren't in one of your kid's lives? This post is long

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 191 Replies
I have a friend who got a girl pregnant at 18. She wanted the baby and he didn't. He pays his child support regularly because he has to. He has little to no interaction with said child. He's met the kid maybe 3 times, ever. They live across the country from one another (he moved when she was still pregnant). He's gone on to marry another woman and now they have children (both bio and adopted). The ex is, as far as I know, still single.

Recently on Facebook he recieved backlash because he posted his wife and children for the anniversary of the day they adopted their oldest DD. He rarely posts anything, especially pics, to Facebook so I was surprised he did. The ex caught wind of that post somehow and came to his page to "out" him. Saying that he shouldn't have been able to adopt his kids when he doesn't even see the one he has with her. Other people jumped in agreeing with her. Some people didn't even know he had another kid. People were saying he should give up his adopted kids or have them taken because he doesn't deserve them.

He posted another status that said "All of you saying I should give up my very much loved and wanted children are whacked." To which people responded with "you don't love or want your son? You're whacked" and things like that.


I have known this guy since High School. He is a sweet, loveable guy who will always have the backs of his loved ones. And he is an absolute wonderful father to his kids with his wife. But part of me agrees with the people saying that he shouldn't have been able to adopt 2 of them when he had a kid he doesn't even know.

What do you think?
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 17, 2017 at 10:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mrs.ChuckBass
by Platinum Member on Dec. 17, 2017 at 10:20 AM
3 moms liked this

i think she is hurt and jealous

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 17, 2017 at 10:21 AM
3 moms liked this
Its sad men don't have more choices with children they don't want.
Southern_Song
by Jo on Dec. 17, 2017 at 10:22 AM
5 moms liked this
He was a kid. He has changed and changed the lives of two needy children in the process and does pay financial support for his other child. He's likely smart to realize that getting in the other child's life now would likely cause more problems for the kiddo.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 17, 2017 at 10:23 AM
He was a teen and he pays his child support. Is it right that he isn't involved? No, but he is financially supporting his child. So, there is no reason why his adopted children should have been forced to continue to live in foster care or orphanages.
redbottoms
by Ruby Member on Dec. 17, 2017 at 10:24 AM
3 moms liked this
team guy. He never agreed to have that kid at 18. That was the mother's choice. So she took on raising that kid on her own. He may have had more interaction with said kid if he lived near but he moved across the country so yeah, that makes sense he never saw the kid. He pays his child support.

He grew up and got married and stable and then had kids and adopted kids with his wife. That is how its supposed to go and work. The baby mama is the one that did it wrong having a kid when he was not her husband and too young and not established etc. She made that choice and has to live with it.

I have no problem with what he did. His adopted kids and his current wife-have nothing to do with this.
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Dec. 17, 2017 at 10:25 AM

He pays financial support to his first child.  That's all he is required to do.  He has not broken any laws.  Of course he should be able to adopt with his wife.

ranchmama21
by Gold Member on Dec. 17, 2017 at 10:26 AM
1 mom liked this
Take care of the ones you produce regardless if you wanted them. No excuse with all the options one has to prevent.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 17, 2017 at 10:26 AM
This is how I see it, mostly, too.

Quoting redbottoms: team guy. He never agreed to have that kid at 18. That was the mother's choice. So she took on raising that kid on her own. He may have had more interaction with said kid if he lived near but he moved across the country so yeah, that makes sense he never saw the kid. He pays his child support.

He grew up and got married and stable and then had kids and adopted kids with his wife. That is how its supposed to go and work. The baby mama is the one that did it wrong having a kid when he was not her husband and too young and not established etc. She made that choice and has to live with it.

I have no problem with what he did. His adopted kids and his current wife-have nothing to do with this.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 17, 2017 at 10:26 AM
1 mom liked this
Now this goes along with what other women on here are talking about...They had sex, she got pregnant, she wanted the baby and he didn't. He should not have to pay child support since he never wanted the baby.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 17, 2017 at 10:26 AM
I mean, men abandon children and go on to have more, or take care of another woman's children all the time. This is no different.
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