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"I'm dreading school starting back up"

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2017 at 10:52 AM
  • 35 Replies
My husband said that to me last night. Our oldest has ADHD but it doesn't affect our home life unless school is in session. Summer and winter break he goes back to my nice, self-controllable little boy. Once school starts back up he goes back to being unable to control himself as well and our lives are miserable.

The problem isn't the school doing something wrong. The problem is that my son gets so much pent up energy from having to sit and struggle to focus for 7 hours a day with only 20 minutes to play during the whole time. He struggles to just stare at paper and make connections on how stuff works. Give him manipulatives to *see* how something works, and he picks it up insanely quick. But after he has sat in a room for 7 hours, coming home and doing any more work is a struggle for him big time. I save it for the weekend and we work for an hour and he just 'gets' what he struggled with all week long.

We are seriously considering homeschooling him starting next year. We are already putting him into a new sport to try and help combat his pent up energy (jujitsu) and see how that goes for the rest of the year. My husband is worried about the socialization aspect, but I asked him if he *really* thought our son was able to socialize in school. They're told not to talk during lunch, no talking during class, and you can play for 20 minutes at recess. Anything he talks about that has to do with socialization, it always occurs after school. At least during sports, shopping, volunteering, and all of the other stuff that goes on he can have a wide range of people to interact with.

We are going back and forth with it. I'm just a few classes shy of my early childhood education degree, I frequently volunteer with the school, and the only real problem my husband has with the idea is that 'homeschooled kids are weird...' I laughed, asked him if about 5 different people we knew were weird, and only one of them I listed he considered to be weird... that was the only person I named that was NOT homeschooled.

I haven't pushed it up until this point because my son isn't failing. It's purely his emotional state after school that kills us. But with my husband seeing the issues more and more, even he has brought up me homeschooling him. Once I presented him with a semi-plan he realized that our son wouldn't be locked away in the house all day and suddenly become a recluse. When we were making slime last week he sat there and just listened to me explain why the slime went from being really watery to suddenly becoming slime once we added certain stuff to it. And then I asked if it would ever be able to go back to NOT being slime and my son said 'no! It's a chemical reaction and can't be undone!' They aren't even working on science in school yet, which bugs the hell out of my husband- but my child knows a LOT of science related stuff. Because of me. He doesn't understand what he's taught in school until I walk him through it in a way he can understand. And it takes a LOT less time to help him at home than it does in school.

No point to this post. I'm just awake early, laying in bed, and bored.
by on Dec. 30, 2017 at 10:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 30, 2017 at 10:55 AM
Does he get any accommodations at school? My dd has autism and adhd and the school bends over backwards for her. She goes on walks daily and gets breaks throughout the day.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 30, 2017 at 10:55 AM
There is so much gained from going to school with others but it is up to you as the parent.
bleumonster
by Sapphire Member on Dec. 30, 2017 at 10:55 AM
It sounds like he is a really good candidate for home schooling. I am not good at explaining stuff like that. Hopefully your husband comes on board.
momtoBrenna
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2017 at 10:56 AM
Sounds like he is a kinesthetic, visual learner and those kids do not do well in traditional schools. I say go for it with the homeschooling. You could even pull him now instead of waiting. I would look up the regulations where you live first to be sure your bases are covered. Good luck!
spacedementia
by Silver Member on Dec. 30, 2017 at 11:00 AM
Is a Montessori type school an option? If not, I’d homeschool too.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 30, 2017 at 11:01 AM
1 mom liked this
How old is he?

In my classrooms I accommodate to kids’ abilities. So, if the child is capable of listening while pacing in the back of the room he’s allowed to do so. If he is capable of listening and focusing while on a ball chair he can use the ball chair. If he is capable of listening and focusing with a fidgit toy he can utilize a fidgit toy. The problem is that many kids aren’t capable of it and the tools end up being an additional distraction.
quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on Dec. 30, 2017 at 11:02 AM

not talk during lunch?is it a school or an institution?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 30, 2017 at 11:03 AM
I hope you find what works best for him.

I too dread school starting back up for one of my children. He is nearly failing second grade with accommodations hoeing his IEP. Learning disabilities can be brutal. I am 105% I could not meet his needs at home. Every time, he sees words like “of”and sits there with no idea what it is after seeing it, 109,397,934 times, a piece of my soul dies! I seriously do not know how his para does it.
Lunarprancer
by Betsy on Dec. 30, 2017 at 11:05 AM
1 mom liked this
Quoting Anonymous 3: How old is he? In my classrooms I accommodate to kids’ abilities. So, if the child is capable of listening while pacing in the back of the room he’s allowed to do so. If he is capable of listening and focusing while on a ball chair he can use the ball chair. If he is capable of listening and focusing with a fidgit toy he can utilize a fidgit toy. The problem is that many kids aren’t capable of it and the tools end up being an additional distraction.

Good for you, thank you for doing that and for what you do!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 30, 2017 at 11:12 AM

My DIL is homeschooling the munchkins and it has worked very well for them.  Her degree is in English Literature so she has a firm foundation in the language arts aspect of education.  I spent my career as an elementary teacher and after retiring spent some time working with high school kids and was a little concerned about how the home schooling situation was going to work at first.  What they have done is to join a co-op that meets for a full day once a week.  In that setting, the kids get to choose enrichment classes for a semester at a time.  There are some absolutely great classes for the kids and they love them.

I've also paid for STEM classes and art lessons for the two oldest this year to make sure that all bases are covered.

The munchkins have social interactions in both the co-op settings and the STEM and art settings so that's covered.

One thing to think about in planning for your son is to know whether you think you can follow some sort of routine for your school time.  From people I've known who have had to abandon home schooling, it has often been because the structure of having a time for lessons just doesn't work for their personal learning style.

Good luck!

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