I don’t flaunt it but I’m not going to hide it either

Dh pays child support and not some piddly amount either. Enough that if bm was careful she could afford to just live off of child support.

Dh also pays for health insurance and half of all medical bills plus all activities and for the most part anytime bm asks for something for the kids. They also go on vacation with us in the summer time when they are out of school.

Even so bm gets upset when she hears dh and I take vacations and because of that dh doesn’t want me telling anyone nor posting anything about it on Facebook in case it gets back to bm.

No!!! I don’t flaunt it, never have and never will. We don’t take elaborate vacations either. A week long vacation to a place we can drive or a 4 day cruise. Again nothing very expensive and I don’t gush all over Facebook either but he doesn’t want me posting anything because even though I’m not friends with her or the kids it always somehow ends up back to her via other friends. And then he has to hear it from her how he doesn’t give her enough child support and he should pay for them to go on vacation and so forth.

I’m sorry she feels she deserves a vacation but it’s not dh’s job to fund it.

[Anonymous 27]

Funny story: DH once blew a job interview because he found out in the middle of it that the position was for $99k. He instantly turned into a bumbling idiot. At the time he only made $28k. It was a sore subject for a few years. It was "the job that got away" so to speak. Now DH earns closer to $200k, with several levels of potential job growth ahead of him. It's funny how life turns out, lol.

Quoting SunshneDaydream: Yes, this exactly. I didn't grow up poor, but when hubby and I were just starting out with our oldest child we had NO money. We made just over minimum wage and would have been on welfare without my parents' support. Back then, $90k/year seemed RICH to us. Now that's what hubby makes alone and with 3 kids and a mortgage it is FAR from rich!

Quoting Anonymous 27: In all fairness, terms like rich and poor are subjective. I myself had a poor upbringing. If I needed new shoes, a new coat, or ripped a hole in my pants, my parents had to save the money over several checks to buy them for me. To a family living like that, another family who has "extra" money on hand after bills and essentials would undoubtedly seem rich. Like you, I consider myself comfortable middle class. But the middle class is shrinking at an alarming rate. So now those at the upper spectrum of what middle class used to be, are now being lumped in with the rich. At least in the eyes of the average struggling American.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Exactly.

We are not rich by any stretch of the imagination yet when I’ve mentioned dh’s salary in the past I’ve been told I’m lying or that we’re filthy rich even when I say we aren’t. We are middle class and we’ve got to watch our money just like most Americans.

Quoting Anonymous 27: This mentality...right here...is why everyone on Cafemom seems to either be welfare-poor, or stinking-rich. In the eyes of Cafemom, those who have extra money to spend are "rich", and those who don't are "poor". In real life, going on a cruise isn't a sign of wealth.

Quoting Anonymous 6: Clearly OP has the money to and likes it lol

Quoting MikeysMom22:

A 4 day cruise??? Who has money for a 4 day cruise!!!! That is a truckload of money right there!!!

Also, I would never go on a cruise I could do a lot more with the money...ugh!!! Who wants to be on a stupid boat, in the middle of the water, going splish spash all night while I am trying to sleep!! Ugh!!

[MikeysMom22]

LOL well at least this post has been um... be polite...  interesting. Interesting to see how many people really do like that sort of thing.. ugh

Quoting Anonymous 30: LMAO!! You really need to chill. Take a cruise,they are quite relaxing.

Quoting MikeysMom22:

I went on board when my mother was going on a cruise with a good friend once. Once they said all ashore!!! I was out of there quick!!! All that rocking back and forth and those puny dinky size rooms they called a bedroom!! And the thought of being on the ocean that long, no thanks!!! I like going to the beach but then being able to leave and go someplace else. I will fly to some places that are too far to drive to if we don't have time but a cruise... NO just no!!! And talk about monsters.. who wants to be swallowed up by the ocean when the dang thing sinks or hit something... Ugh!!

Quoting Anonymous 12: Who doesn’t like cruises? You are a monster!!! Lol

Quoting MikeysMom22:

A 4 day cruise??? Who has money for a 4 day cruise!!!! That is a truckload of money right there!!!

Also, I would never go on a cruise I could do a lot more with the money...ugh!!! Who wants to be on a stupid boat, in the middle of the water, going splish spash all night while I am trying to sleep!! Ugh!!

[Anonymous 32]

Why should it be a given they would go? Plenty vacation without kids.

Quoting MonarchMom22:

Taking his children on vacation with you during the summer is not something to brag about like it is over and above his duty.  It should be a given that he would include his own children on trips.

[Anonymous 33]

He partially agrees with her. Otherwise, he wouldn't feel like it was something to hide.

[Anonymous 30]

Really it can be wonderful. We did the inside passage from Alaska. Very calm waters 5 port stops.

Cruise staff treats you like royalty. They clean your room, so it's never a mess. We chose the set dining time and got the same staff every night. DD was 5 and they spoiled her.

I look forward to the day when we can go again!

Quoting MikeysMom22:

LOL well at least this post has been um... be polite...  interesting. Interesting to see how many people really do like that sort of thing.. ugh

Quoting Anonymous 30: LMAO!! You really need to chill. Take a cruise,they are quite relaxing.

Quoting MikeysMom22:

I went on board when my mother was going on a cruise with a good friend once. Once they said all ashore!!! I was out of there quick!!! All that rocking back and forth and those puny dinky size rooms they called a bedroom!! And the thought of being on the ocean that long, no thanks!!! I like going to the beach but then being able to leave and go someplace else. I will fly to some places that are too far to drive to if we don't have time but a cruise... NO just no!!! And talk about monsters.. who wants to be swallowed up by the ocean when the dang thing sinks or hit something... Ugh!!

Quoting Anonymous 12: Who doesn’t like cruises? You are a monster!!! Lol

Quoting MikeysMom22:

A 4 day cruise??? Who has money for a 4 day cruise!!!! That is a truckload of money right there!!!

Also, I would never go on a cruise I could do a lot more with the money...ugh!!! Who wants to be on a stupid boat, in the middle of the water, going splish spash all night while I am trying to sleep!! Ugh!!