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I regret that we went for an open adoption

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 182 Replies

When we adopted DS we thought open adoption was the best thing. It would give DS the chance to know his birth parents and them the chance to see him. We talked about yearly visits and pictures/updates. It has not been great at all. 

Well we started having problems when they posted pictures of DS all over social media. We had agreed that it was okay with them to share the pictures with their parents but not put them on social media. The first time they promised it wouldnt happen but it turns out they just blocked us so we couldnt see the pictures. We only found out when one of their family members showed up on the "people you might know" or whatever tab on facebook with DS as their profile picture. I think it was birth moms grandmothers account. 

We stopped sending any pictures. That only made them more angry. The demanded to see DS more. We ended up blocking them on everything. We contacted the adoption agency to see what we should do about the situation. They set up meetings with the birth parents and asked if we would attend one so we can all talk and hopefully get on the same page. Well it didnt go well beause we didnt bring DS and they were expecting him. 

They got mad and refused to talk to us until DS was there. We went to leave because that just wasnt going to happen. They pretty much pitched a fit saying they had the right to see their child and we needed to realize that. 

I told them that he is OUR son and they have 0 rights to him. We have gone out of our way to make this open adoption thing work but clearly it wasnt working. We told them not to contact us in any way again or we would report them for harassment. 

I know it was harsh but it needed to be done. It is clear that they do not have the maturity to handle contact with us and DS. We didnt ask much of them but to just respect our rule of no social media. We didnt have to try to work it out with them at all but we did and all we were met with was disrespect. We are done with them. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 2, 2018 at 10:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 2, 2018 at 10:30 PM
4 moms liked this
I would close it and be done.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 2, 2018 at 10:30 PM
How old is ds?
VegetaPrincess
by Platinum Member on Jan. 2, 2018 at 10:32 PM
3 moms liked this
It happens a lot. I have a relative who closed the adoption because birth mom kept begging for money. She felt terrible but it was just years of guilting cash out of her. Eventually I'm sure she would have been doing that to the daughter too.

You have to protect your child. They sound unreasonable and unstable. He's better off without that in his life. If he wants to meet them as an adult, he can. Hopefully he'll be equipped to handle their bullshit at that time.
ilovemykids323
by on Jan. 2, 2018 at 10:32 PM
2 moms liked this

i dont think open adoptions are a good idea.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 2, 2018 at 10:32 PM
Close the adoption. You’re the parents not them.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 2, 2018 at 10:33 PM
4 moms liked this
I placed a daughter for adoption 19 years ago. It was originally an open adoption but they closed it when she was 10 because her mother was jealous of the relationship she and I had. She found me the day she turned 18 and moved across the country to live with me and refduses to soeak to her adoptive parents any longer. She resents them for closing the adoption and taking me away from her.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 2, 2018 at 10:34 PM

4

Quoting Anonymous 3: How old is ds?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 2, 2018 at 10:36 PM
2 moms liked this

what is the problem with them sharing photos on social media?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 2, 2018 at 10:37 PM
1 mom liked this

We dont want pictures of any of our kids on social media. Especially when they are being shared with random strangers 

Quoting Anonymous 6:

what is the problem with them sharing photos on social media?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 2, 2018 at 10:39 PM
10 moms liked this
Someone has been binge watching Teen Mom.
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