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Some days I want to run away! I am wondering if I am alone on this

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

i have a spouse who is not the kindest. He runs a tight ship God forbid i make a mistake or something doesnt get done he will rip me to shreds and makes me feel worthless. I have a few kids and a baby so yes i do neglect some stuff. The holidays were the worst this year.  I spent my days getting screamed at for not doing this or that. i realize now i made a huge mistake in choosing a spouse. I have went through a severe depression years ago and i feel like im falling into it again. 

I feel like a failure at work, home, as a mother, a wife and every role. i just walk around and feel so dumb and incompetent. i know a majority of my issue is my spouse reminding me every minute how im a failure.

For example. We have many holidays at my home, Christmas is especially hard as its my busy season at work. i need to add i work with my spouse too. Im overwhelmed and when i make mistakes or cant catch up it becomes me getting scolded. I wanted a partner to say hey you seem like your falling behind where can i help. instead I am told your a lazy dumb bit*h, everyone else gets their stuff done but you. I got stuck with a dummy, this is what my husband says. I work i bring home money and you do nothing at all. Meanwhile I say thats not true i work with you and he says you dont do nearly as much as i do, so i say well why am i there? 

heres my life in a sum up

My spouse screams at me and tells me how everyone else cleans, works, cooks dinner and keeps up with laundry.

My kids are annoying and do not listen to me at all. im always screaming at them (i treat them like my husband treats me) i just cant do it anymore.

I go to work and feel like i fail when he reminds me of whats not done, but in my defense im spread thin all over. i go to work and i feel like im drowning, i go home and im being swallowed by laundry. Im not sure if this is a normal feeling for most women. I just feel like i want to give up and pack my bags and take a one way plane ticket to tahiti or something and never return. I feel like that more and more everyday. I look at my kids faces and i just dont have the guts to do it.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2018 at 3:54 PM
Replies (31-33):
by Gold Member on Jan. 4, 2018 at 7:58 AM

Being put down and yelled out day to day does and will effect you, but it also will effect the children. They see his disrespect for you and that is most likely will they feel they can do the same.  It is very sad and the fact that you state he has actually changed you is not a good thing.  Be strong and focus on you and what you need to do for your peace and happiness.  Do you have any family? Maybe you can get support or help from them.  

Quoting Anonymous 1: Thank you, I appreciate your kind words. Some days I feel there is hope and some days I’m done. I just can’t believe I have dealt with this for so long. He actually changed me. I can’t even function around people anymore. I will have to figure something out. Thank you again
Quoting Kellyjude1:

I am so sorry for what you are going through.  Sure, sometimes things can get overwhelming being a super mom having to do it all.  Raising children, working full time, cooking, cleaning, etc.  - It is so sad that your husband treats you that way - of course, with all that negativity and harsh words from him it is no wonder you feel down on yourself.  You deserve understanding and respect.  Clearly if your husband treats you that way, maybe your children are just following in his footsteps.  They see and hear the disrespect which is never good. Don't give up your children need you.  I hope you can find the inner strength to want more for yourself and your children.  Don't allow him to keep you down - You are not worthless and you are not a failure.  Sadly something needs to change in order for you to feel better and only you can make that choice.  Have you ever expressed to him how he makes you feel? Would he be willing to go to marriage counseling? If not, then maybe you need to move on away from his negativity- I hope you can find some peace and happiness soon.

by on Jan. 4, 2018 at 12:22 PM

You know have you ever thought that you were being abused? Any spouse that truly loves you will not talk to you that way. You have to decide how much your worth. If your children see that your being treated that way they will think that is how your supposed to be treated. An disrespect is not an option. I am so sorry that you feel you deserve that treatment, but you don't. Please consider getting some help for yourself. Your are worth more then you know.

by 11-15/3-27 on Jan. 4, 2018 at 12:24 PM

Why do you stay?

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