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SD has 13 absences and 3 tardies

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies
It’s so frustrating because my kids from my previous marriage, that live with DH and I have awesome attendance, are healthy, excel in extra curricular activities, have good grades, etc and just seem to have the world at their feet. But SD who is 12, has been struggling with missing assignments, failing grades, is always sick, is overweight, can’t stick to a hobby to save her life, and I just feel bad because it feels like she’s just at a disadvantage living with BM. I feel a lot of guilt about it :(
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 9, 2018 at 10:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Momox2678
by Member on Jan. 17, 2018 at 4:44 PM

I understand your frustrations- my ss was in a very similiar situation through lots of prayer, the school sent us all to juvenile court where they had filed a child deperation case. in the long run mom failed a drug test and we were given temporary custody over a four month period mom had no clean screenings so within 6 months we had full custody and I'm happy to say that he has been with us for 7 years- has had perfect attendance or no more than a few days missed but all for true illnesses.  Just recently we learned that he had a heart defect from birth and had to have surgery- through it all he still hasn't missed more than a day or so this school year- he has had a few tardies due to doctor's appointments but he is an honor roll student and his behavior is much better as well. Maybe you ss is in a similiar situation or maybe it is something more- I myself had a lot of absents growing up and no interest in doing other things because of my childhood circumstances. While praying for my ss- God showed me a verse in 2 Chronicles I think it was 20:15 but not positive -it was basically "This Battle is not mine but God's"- so that is where I left it. Praying for wisdom for you all and hope you and you sd can build a close relationship and maybe you can find away to encourage her.

DDDaysh
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2018 at 4:48 PM
If she's always sick, that could account for most of the other things you described. Just changing custody wouldn't change how prone she is to illness.

Is the school threatening truancy charges? If not, most of the absences are probably excused.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 17, 2018 at 4:49 PM
Has dh talked to her mom? Why are these things happening?
SAHMJC
by Emerald Member on Jan. 17, 2018 at 4:51 PM
1 mom liked this
The fact is even if she lived at your house she would still be her. I'm a wonderful mother but my oldest daughter used to always be sick, one year she missed 21 days of school and every single one of them she was sick. It wasn't because I wasn't a good mother or didn't take care of her properly she was just sick a lot. She's not like your kids oh well that's okay she's her. I think she is at an advantage living with her mom where she's not constantly compared to her step-siblings who are so perfect
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 17, 2018 at 4:52 PM
Exactly. Last year I got bronchitis. I gained 10 lbs because I was sick for a couple of weeks. I mean I did my day today stuff but I didn't work out I pretty much was laying down resting as much as I could rather than being active. I could imagine a child who is always sick very well could be overweight.

Quoting DDDaysh: If she's always sick, that could account for most of the other things you described. Just changing custody wouldn't change how prone she is to illness.

Is the school threatening truancy charges? If not, most of the absences are probably excused.
Southern_Song
by Jo on Jan. 17, 2018 at 4:59 PM
How can you feel guilt if it's not your fault? Silly feeling to have. Good luck.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 17, 2018 at 5:07 PM
My youngest has more absences than that, and couldn’t play a sport if her life depended on it. My older kids have like 2 or 3 absences and both participate in sports/dance/band.

At 12yo she is old enough to make choices regarding her health, her diet, her willingness to participate in school, do homework, etc. while BM shoild be encouraging her, she has to be the one to do it.

Why does she need a hobby or extra curricular activity? Not all kids are cut out for that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 17, 2018 at 5:12 PM
1 mom liked this

love the humble brag

LovingThisLifex
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2018 at 5:15 PM
You sound incredibly judgemental.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 17, 2018 at 5:16 PM

9 times?  

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