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HELP!! How do I stop this behavior?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 108 Replies
Ds is turning 5 next week. Long story short, he lives with his dad. Mutual decision, no bashing necessary. I had to move 2 hours away and see ds every other weekend. I know he misses me. I miss him too, like crazy. But lately he's almost acting like a toddler. Misbehaving for attention, hands in everything, acting crazy. I spend as much time with him as possible. We do things together all weekend. He has my attention, but of course I still have to do things like cook, clean, shower, etc. I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to him. The usual punishments for that behavior. Nothing is working. He seems starved for attention, except he isn't at all. He is very loved and cared for in both homes. Is this something I'm just going to have to wait out? Or is there something I can do?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 13, 2018 at 10:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2018 at 11:05 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 13, 2018 at 11:07 AM
2 moms liked this

get him into therapy

obviously two households are too much for him to handle, emotionally and needs help coping

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 13, 2018 at 11:07 AM
1 mom liked this
Were you the primary caregiver for the first few years of his life? If so I'm sure he's experiencing feelings of abandonment and is acting out because he doesn't have the ability to express it. And he probably is legitimately craving attention from his mother.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 13, 2018 at 11:09 AM
I was a sahm for most of his first 4 years. I understand he wants my attention, but that's the thing, he has it.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Were you the primary caregiver for the first few years of his life? If so I'm sure he's experiencing feelings of abandonment and is acting out because he doesn't have the ability to express it. And he probably is legitimately craving attention from his mother.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 13, 2018 at 11:10 AM
He misses you and obviously isn’t transitioning well.
Qmama206
by Nobi ❤️ on Jan. 13, 2018 at 11:10 AM

Do you still continue to see him 2X a week?

stepperbepper
by Gold Member on Jan. 13, 2018 at 11:11 AM
But only for 2 days and that's way less then he had before.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I was a sahm for most of his first 4 years. I understand he wants my attention, but that's the thing, he has it.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Were you the primary caregiver for the first few years of his life? If so I'm sure he's experiencing feelings of abandonment and is acting out because he doesn't have the ability to express it. And he probably is legitimately craving attention from his mother.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 13, 2018 at 11:11 AM
3 moms liked this
He doesn't. It's a major change for a 5 year old to go from his mom being with him daily and being his primary caregiver to seeing her every other weekend. It's traumatizing. He needs counseling

Quoting Anonymous 1: I was a sahm for most of his first 4 years. I understand he wants my attention, but that's the thing, he has it.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Were you the primary caregiver for the first few years of his life? If so I'm sure he's experiencing feelings of abandonment and is acting out because he doesn't have the ability to express it. And he probably is legitimately craving attention from his mother.
rachel216
by Platinum Member on Jan. 13, 2018 at 11:11 AM
1 mom liked this
Was this a new change? Him living with his dad and your recent move? Or just being able to see him eow? Any of these big changes could have caused this. Is wait it out and see. To me sounds like a phase
Phoenix_lament
by Fawkes on Jan. 13, 2018 at 11:12 AM
5 moms liked this
Not in his mind, no. In his mind you've abandoned him.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I was a sahm for most of his first 4 years. I understand he wants my attention, but that's the thing, he has it.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Were you the primary caregiver for the first few years of his life? If so I'm sure he's experiencing feelings of abandonment and is acting out because he doesn't have the ability to express it. And he probably is legitimately craving attention from his mother.
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