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Just help.....please

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2018 at 8:33 PM
  • 64 Replies

Quick backstory.

My aunt passed away in December of 2016. She had 4 kids. One was grown, the other three were 12, 8 and 5. I decided I would take the 5-year old little girl. I have two boys, who at the time were 11 and 9. The only other person that might take her was my grandma, who is 75 years old and had already taken the 9 year old little boy. 

During this same time, I found out my husband of 13 years was cheating on me. I had also just started a doctoral program. I decided to leave him. Suddenly I was a single mom of 3 kids, one of which had recently lost her mom and had lost her dad 2 years earlier. I had also just moved. 

I managed the doctoral program for almost 3 more semesters. In Oct of this past year, I took leave. My grandma (who I was very close to) passed away as well as my 13 year old dog. I couldn't take anymore. I started seeing a guy I have known since I was 18. The only problem was that he lives 700 miles away. 

We have now been seeing each other for about 8 months and I'm just so lost. I can't find a job. My student loans are coming for repayment soon. I want to be with this guy, but I don't want to move my 3 kids that far away from family. I love him a lot but taking my kids away from their grandmothers and grandfather would not be fair to any of them. 

The little girl I took in is a good kid, especially considering what she's been through. But I have no help and I'm just very stressed and overwhelmed and feel like a complete loser for quitting the program right now. 


EDIT: So I don't have to keep saying this, let me clarify. The three children did not live together before their mom passed. My grandma has had the 9 year old since the day he came home from the hospital and the older boy lived with his bio father. They all live within a half hour of each other so they do get to see each often. There is no way I could've taken in 3 more kids and pulling them from the homes they had always been in wouldn't have been right anyway. 

Also, like I said originally and many times in replies. I do not want to move my kids out there with this guy. If I ever move out there, it will be many years down the road. I still need to finish the doctoral program and who knows if we'll even make it that long. It's not something I'm considering doing right now. 

by on Jan. 15, 2018 at 8:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momjustmakingit
by Member on Jan. 15, 2018 at 8:42 PM

C'mon ya'll, say something lol

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 15, 2018 at 8:54 PM
1 mom liked this
This post is too long.

Quoting momjustmakingit:

C'mon ya'll, say something lol

Starz6802
by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2018 at 8:56 PM
What was your doctoral program? What do you do for work?

Why can’t your boyfriend move to you? I don’t think I would ever move my kids that far for a boyfriend. I know you feel like you love him but how much actual time have you spent together?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 15, 2018 at 8:57 PM
1 mom liked this
Why did you separate her from her brothers?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 15, 2018 at 8:58 PM
What happened to the 12 year old?

Also can your boyfriend move to where you are?

What is your field?
mmm2015
by Eldouchedegrande on Jan. 15, 2018 at 8:58 PM

What type of help do you need?

Sorry you're going through a tough spot right now


Peanuts1962
by Member on Jan. 15, 2018 at 8:58 PM
Anyone willing to uproot children for a man is a peice of shit.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 15, 2018 at 8:58 PM
1 mom liked this
No it’s not.

Quoting Anonymous 1: This post is too long.

Quoting momjustmakingit:

C'mon ya'll, say something lol

AnotherKim
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2018 at 8:59 PM
1 mom liked this

hugs

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 15, 2018 at 9:00 PM

Did you take a leave when you were your only source of income? 

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