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Terrible threes!! Please help!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies
Ladies please help me! Please tell me that it gets better once they are out of this stage. I just don’t know what happened to my sweet babies 😢. I have twins and I have done everything (IMO) to ensure that I am raising good kids… Storytimes at the library, nature walks in the forest Montessori school for daycare… Love them with every fiber of my being and discipline them when they do wrong but despite my best efforts they are the most defiant obnoxious 3 1/2-year-olds and I frankly am reduced to tears some days because I don’t know how to cope with their behavior. 😩.

When I pick them up from preschool I have the embarrassment of watching the preschool teachers following me with their eyes as I pathetically run around the playground trying to get my kids to agree to come with me to get in the car and then when I try to get them in the car it’s 10 minutes of negotiating and battling to get them just to get in the car and fasten their seatbelts and then when we get home I feel like all I’m doing is mediating their fights and coaxing them into getting them to do what I need them to do… My son especially is so defiant that I am worried that maybe there is something actually wrong with him like maybe he might have oppositionsl defiance disorder or have Aspergers or something. For those of you who have gone through this stage please tell me that it’s normal and that your kids were also this horrible and they just kind of gradually grew out of it and became nice human beings 🙏😬 because frankly I am worried that maybe I need to go talk to a counselor or their pediatrician… Please tell me that this is normal or… Tell me that it’s not and 3 1/2-year-olds are actually mostly very sweet and maybe there is truly something wrong with my kids or my parenting because I am at a complete loss. I have no experience with three-year-olds and I have nothing to compare this to so I am reaching out and hoping that I get some words of wisdom from veteran Moms. Thank you so much for reading this.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 17, 2018 at 6:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by Ruby Member on Jan. 17, 2018 at 7:07 PM
I think one: they outnumber you and are using that to their advantage two: you are the parent so make sure that they know when you speak, they listen. three: give them a warning countdown. Four: if you say something, make sure you follow through or they will continue to walk all over you. Five: set alarms, so they know that at this time we do this and at that time we do that. Six: tire them out or rather sometimes they are being naughty because they are tired, so try putting them down for a nap for even as little as 20 minutes. Yes it does get better.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 17, 2018 at 7:09 PM
1 mom liked this

3 year olds are buttholes.

Dont give them a choice. Thats not saying be mean, But when its time to go how many 3 year olds will argue with a lollypop treat for leaving with mommy and getting into the car like good little people? If one refuses and sees the sibling getting a treat for doing as told it will stop. I did this when ds was about that age and wanted to fight leaving the park. Just an idea.

They sound like perfectly normal 3 year olds.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 17, 2018 at 7:09 PM
1 mom liked this
I’m not coaxing any kid of mine to do anything. They will obey or face consequences.
wkukid
by Beach Bum on Jan. 17, 2018 at 7:11 PM
Four doesn’t get better
HOT4TCHR
by Gold Member on Jan. 17, 2018 at 7:11 PM
1 mom liked this
I like all this.



Quoting MixedCooke: I think one: they outnumber you and are using that to their advantage two: you are the parent so make sure that they know when you speak, they listen. three: give them a warning countdown. Four: if you say something, make sure you follow through or they will continue to walk all over you. Five: set alarms, so they know that at this time we do this and at that time we do that. Six: tire them out or rather sometimes they are being naughty because they are tired, so try putting them down for a nap for even as little as 20 minutes. Yes it does get better.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 17, 2018 at 7:12 PM
1 mom liked this
It gets better. My ds was a butt at 3 and now 7 and very sweet. Still has some bad days but nothing like when he was 3.
momoffour2013
by Platinum Member on Jan. 17, 2018 at 7:16 PM
1 mom liked this
This and I have two toddler boys. I have a 2 year old and a 3 year old. I will not chase them and they listen pretty well but then again I spank them.

Quoting Anonymous 3: I’m not coaxing any kid of mine to do anything. They will obey or face consequences.
Elelo
by Silver Member on Jan. 17, 2018 at 7:48 PM
1 mom liked this
They are tag team ing you. I had the in 11months yes twins. Start every minute brand new. It does get better. Then worse again. Stay strong
Pm me if you need to talk.
Isaacsmom913
by Ruby Member on Jan. 17, 2018 at 7:52 PM
1 mom liked this
My 2 yr old was awesome. My 3 yr old, same Child was a jerk. However the one thing I notice is the word negotiate. NO NO NO. They are 3 you are the adult. You WILL allow me to buckle you in your car seat, this is not optional. Failure to cooperate will result in X when we get home. You then need to follow through. Also stop chasing them around the playground, you have turned it into a game. The sooner boundaries are established the quicker they will be amiable to your wishes (most of the time)
spunky946
by Emerald Member on Jan. 17, 2018 at 8:06 PM
Don’t negotiate with them. Tell them to get in the car or this will happen and then follow through. They sound normal, you just need to step up your parenting game.

You could also try giving them a choice. Two acceptable choices by you that still get them to do the task. Do you want the red shirt or blue shirt. My dd hated brushing her teeth and loved being read to. So it used to be you can either brush your teeth yourself and get a story or I brush your teeth and no story. She usually chose to brush her own teeth, but once in awhile she’s choose me and I’d have to follow through
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