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Dh is her bio dad but the other guy is on the BC

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 15 Replies
Dh hooked up with a girl while he was in the marines. She got back with her ex right before he left so he just assumed that was the end of that.

2 years later he runs in to a guy he met from the town that girl lived in. He told dh he definitely had a kid by this woman.

So dh contacts her and she says yes the kid is most likely dh’s but her now husband signed the BC and has been raising the kid with her. He knows he’s not the real dad though. The kid looks indetical to dh.

Anyway, dh wants a relationship with his kid so they work it out between themselves. No courts involved. She just let dd visit every other weekend and the day after holidays. He paid child support. This has worked out fine until now.

Now she’s is divorcing her husband so she says that my dh will have to pay back child support for the 2 years he didn’t know his dd existed.

Does she have any grounds to do this? How will that work? Dh knows first thing he has to do is get a paternity test but will that change who is on the BC?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 17, 2018 at 11:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 17, 2018 at 11:14 PM
It does not sound like she has a legal leg to stand on. Legally her dh is the child's father. Because it never went through the courts anything your dh gave her was a gift not child support. He can try to legally get rights to his dd. But if her stbx want to keep his established parental rights the courts could easily side with him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 17, 2018 at 11:17 PM

So this happened to my friend's boyfriend. He went to court and they told her she wouldn't be awarded any support prior to the date the petition was filed. I'm in Texas so I'm not sure if that rule applies everywhere. I hope it does in your case. Good luck. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 18, 2018 at 2:54 PM
I would have him take it to court or talk to a lawyer.


My his and broke up with his daughters mom right before him and I got together. She would give him the time of day etc about his daughter. 5 years later, she started talking to him. She send him pictures of his daughter. His daughter knows the guy her mom married is not her real dad. But her step dad is on her BC.

Right now they agreed to take it slow and just talk. When its the right time for his ex introduce the kid to my husband its on her terms. And then they will give that sometime And then he will introduce our kids and my self to the daughter.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 18, 2018 at 4:15 PM
Doubt it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 18, 2018 at 4:27 PM
My sons ex was pregnant and at first said it was his. But she changed her mind later. She put another man on the birth certificate, let him name the baby, gave the baby his last name and claimed it was his with no other possible fathers.

My son went to court immediately after the baby was born. A DNA test was done on both men and my son was determined the father. The judge ordered the birth certificate changed to add him as father and change the baby’s name. My son eventually got sole custody. The baby is almost a year old now and my son is raising him.

He needs to go to court and get a paternity test!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 18, 2018 at 4:31 PM
Unfortunately she might. It just depends on where you live and what judge you get. In some cases the mother has to prove that the father knew. And others it doesn't matter at all. All she has to do is do a DNA test and As long as it comes out to be your husband's that's the end of it. On a Mortal level though why wouldn't your husband want to pay back for the time that he wasn't supporting this child, whatever the reason May be?
krisnkids
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2018 at 4:35 PM

And this is why you go through the courts and get things done the legal way. Stupid bm needs to first prove that her dh is not legally dad. Then she can come to your dh and prove that he is dad. He needs to stop paying her anything. NOTHING.


acrogodess
by Emerald Member on Jan. 18, 2018 at 4:35 PM
For the most part, especially since she let a different man claim the kid, she will more than likely get child support for when she petitioned the court, not back child support. The courts will want a DNA test first to get your husband's name onto the birth certificate. In the meantime, they'll go after her ex for child support since he is legally the kid's dad.
Gorilla_Mama
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2018 at 4:37 PM
It’s a much different process with a new baby and an older child.

Quoting Anonymous 6: My sons ex was pregnant and at first said it was his. But she changed her mind later. She put another man on the birth certificate, let him name the baby, gave the baby his last name and claimed it was his with no other possible fathers.

My son went to court immediately after the baby was born. A DNA test was done on both men and my son was determined the father. The judge ordered the birth certificate changed to add him as father and change the baby’s name. My son eventually got sole custody. The baby is almost a year old now and my son is raising him.

He needs to go to court and get a paternity test!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 18, 2018 at 4:39 PM
Why should he? The child was taken care Of? Maybe people don't have a ton of money to Just shell out.

Quoting Anonymous 7: Unfortunately she might. It just depends on where you live and what judge you get. In some cases the mother has to prove that the father knew. And others it doesn't matter at all. All she has to do is do a DNA test and As long as it comes out to be your husband's that's the end of it. On a Mortal level though why wouldn't your husband want to pay back for the time that he wasn't supporting this child, whatever the reason May be?
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