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That was the last straw

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 95 Replies
My brother is 20 and lives with us while going to school. He is in the police academy. He had just got in when our mother, who he was living with decided to move in with her fiance who lives 2 hours away. There's almost no way to complete the program while working enough to support himself. They even tell you that the program is that intense that very few people pass who are holding down full-time jobs. But dh and I figured him going into the police academy would pretty much set him up for life. He would have a career rather than a dead-end job which would be his option if he didn't go. He is not book smart and actually struggled with the prerequisites for the Academy. So we said that while he's in the police academy he could stay with us.

We have pretty relaxed rules. He doesn't pay us any rent only grocery money and money towards the utilities. He pays $200 towards groceries 35 towards utilities which is about what it has increased to and 15 because we had to increase our internet package and that's how much it cost. In addition to that he has access to our Hulu Netflix and Amazon accounts for as much streaming as he wants.

Our only rules are

If you come home late please be quiet and make sure you lock the door behind you

No bringing random girls home. If he had a long-term girlfriend we are talking at least more than 3 to 6 months then we would discuss her being allowed to spend the night. But not some random chick home

Clean up after himself. I do not ask him to do any housework apart from his own laundry but I do expect him to clean up after himself. If he uses a dish he can either put it in the dishwasher or if the dishwasher is clean he could empty the dishwasher and then put it in or wash it by hand. When he uses the bathroom it should be at least as clean as it was when he went in. So wipe off all the water off the floor wash his whiskers out of the sink when he shaves Etc

No friends over without permission. Most of his friends still live at home with their parents. I don't want my house to be the hangout spot for a bunch of 19 to 23 year olds

As you can see pretty reasonable rules. The one we have had an issue with his him coming home late at night and not locking the door behind him. We will go to bed with the door locked and wake up in the morning to it unlocked. I've spoken with him several times about it, each time he apologizes but it's now happened more than three times. I live in a safe neighborhood but even still it makes me really nervous that he's doing this. And as he is training to be a police officer you would think that he would be more concerned with security.

I told him if it happened again I would be changing the locks on the door and he would not get a new key and change the garage code and not give him the new one. Well yesterday I woke up to my front door unlocked. I told him that I would not be kicking him out but he would have to be home by 10 on weekdays, midnight on weekend unless I decide I'm going to bed earlier in which case I will tell him that he needs to be home by X time because I am not staying up. If he is not home on time he will have to find somewhere else to sleep that night. I also told him that if he chose to ring the doorbell to wake us up to get in I would kick him out. I have four young children and if he thinks he's going to ring the doorbell and wake my kids up so that he can come in because he couldn't be home on time not going to happen.

He's been bitchy about it but oh well
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 18, 2018 at 10:08 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2018 at 10:08 AM
Bump
justnosy2090
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2018 at 10:10 AM
Oh well
CorpCityGrl
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2018 at 10:12 AM

He didn't lock the door! That's not cool at all. It's a safety concern. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2018 at 10:12 AM
Yep. He will get over it. Or he won't and he'll find somewhere else to live. My guess is he'll get over it. He says it's not fair because he's a grown man and we are giving him a curfew. Well if you can't be trusted to lock the door behind you and yes we're going to give you a curfew. I should not have to worry that my front door is left unlocked but I also shouldn't have to stay up waiting for him to decide to get home

Quoting justnosy2090: Oh well
Starz6802
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2018 at 10:13 AM
2 moms liked this
Nope. Nope. Nope.

All your rules sound totally reasonable. How insanely irresponsible of him not to simple lock a door! Doesn’t he have any concern for people he loves! Your right a police officer is supposed to have safety first and foremost on their minds. Jeez.....
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2018 at 10:13 AM
That is. Even in a safe neighborhood things can happen. I've heard on the news where there's a group of people who literally go around neighborhoods in the middle of the night and just trying to open the door. If it's unlocked and it looks like nobody's awake will go in. If it's locked they move on to the next door. They do the same thing with cars apparently. Or maybe that might be a different group of people. Either way it's definitely concern even living in a safe area

Quoting CorpCityGrl:

He didn't lock the door! That's not cool at all. It's a safety concern. 

Spare.Time
by on Jan. 18, 2018 at 10:14 AM

he's an adult

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 18, 2018 at 10:14 AM

Sounds reasonable. I wouldn't care for my doors to be unlocked either. I get up at night a few times a week just to double check. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2018 at 10:14 AM
That's what I asked him. I have four young children. I asked him how he would feel if one of them was kidnapped in the middle of the night because he left the front door open. Or even would have some of our stuff got stolen. I told him that work hard for what we have we shouldn't have our stuff stolen because he can't be responsible enough to turn a lock

Quoting Starz6802: Nope. Nope. Nope.

All your rules sound totally reasonable. How insanely irresponsible of him not to simple lock a door! Doesn’t he have any concern for people he loves! Your right a police officer is supposed to have safety first and foremost on their minds. Jeez.....
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2018 at 10:15 AM
He is an adult. And he needs to start acting like one

Quoting Spare.Time:

he's an adult

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