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Is he right...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 42 Replies
So today Husband is upset with me because I dont wake up when he does for work. He says if I did he would be able to have breakfast and walk the dogs before leaving. Dd doesnt go to bed until 12 sometimes 1am and wakes around 8 to eat. I told him its hard because she goes to sleep so late at times wakes up several times so I get up once she eats at 8am and hes gone by then. I told him I watch her all week night and day even though hes off weekends. He wont sleep with us weekends because he says he wants to sleep. Shes already going on 6 months and it upsets me he doesnt even try to sleep with me on weekends. I always hear other couples rotate times with their babies like one taking night the other morning etc. So the other can have a break and sleep. But thats not the case with us and he doesnt see it. I feel like he thinks its not alot to watch her night n day and said hell do it then.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 18, 2018 at 1:19 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:14 PM
Tell him to stop being an ass, make his own breakfast or help with the baby. He helped make her, he can help care for her. My husband and I rotated every other night with our dd. She had colic and would for 5-6 hrs straight every single night. I would never have had more kids or hell even touch me if he hadn't helped.
paknari
by Member on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:17 PM
That’s a tough one. My DH and I rotated days but we both worked. When I was home with my youngest I didn’t rotate because I napped when my dd Naples. I got up at 8 and went back to sleep for awhile when she did.
lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:18 PM

I dont get fathers that dont step up. He is her dad. He needs to help you and spend time with her. Do you co sleep  and maybe he is afraid ? My husband had the bad Friday and Saturday nights so I could get 2 good nights of sleep. Thankfully by 7 months they slept through the night.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:20 PM
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Are you a sahm? If so no most guys don't work and get up with the baby too.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:20 PM
1 mom liked this

sounds like your first.. sometimes it takes time to find a new normal

if you are at home I suggest you get up early with him once or twice a week to show him you hear his concerns. Then nap during the day.  You might ask if he will join you in bed once during the weekend to show you the same.

cali_gurl
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:21 PM
1 mom liked this

How does he help with the baby? I was a SAHM and my husband and I still made it work for both of us. Get your baby on an earlier sleep schedule though. Midnight is too late. Why can't he have breakfast and walk the dogs before work either way? Is he expecting you to make breakfast too? I don't get the connections here.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:22 PM
Where do y’all find these men to procreate with? Was there a sale at Assholes R Us?
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:23 PM
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Tell him sorry but you need your sleep right now.  Maybe in the future when baby is older.

Not_A_Native
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:25 PM
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As a sahm, I always got up with the baby AND with my husband (and my ex when I was married to him).  With my ex, that meant getting up at 5 am - I made his breakfast, lunch, fed the baby and we talked.  With my husband, it meant around 7:30.

You have one child, right?  So why not nap during the day when the baby naps?   Then you can get up with your husband and STILL be fairly well rested.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:25 PM
So your baby is 6 months old and sleeps in bed with you? And your husband wants you to get up and make him breakfast before he leaves for work?

Just personally, I made sure that my son was sleeping in his own room by 3 months old, now if they have a bad night or nightmares or aren't feeling well that's a different story. And I've told my husband plenty of times I'm happy to get up early and make him breakfast and make his lunches, and he tells me to not worry about it that he's capable of doing that on his own.

So it sounds like you guys need to get on the same page regarding what's expected of one another. It can be a difficult conversation I suppose, but both parties should be able to sit down, listen to the others aside, and come to an agreement.
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