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So I have to ask. If your sons, brothers, husband... Spin off

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies
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End up getting harassed, groped, sexually assaulted and then someone tries to blame it on them walking around shirtless, would you think that holds any weight?  I'm going to go with it being a gay guy doing the assaulting rather than a woman, because the people who think things like that usually won't take sexual assaults on an adult male from a woman seriously (from what I've heard, personally).  And because they usually use the "men are more visual, so it's not the same."  Well, we're talking about gay male predators, then.  You say that women get that kind of attitude because men are visual and the women aren't wearing enough clothes.  So, what about men going shirtless in front of a predator who happens to be gay?  Is it their fault, then?  Does it make any sense then?  Then why use it in regards to women?

I have never gotten a straight answer on that question.  One answer I got was from a straight male more or less said "any man who gets himself raped by another man was too weak or wanted it, anyway"..   I don't think he's the majority of people by any means, but that was something that left me pissed off for the entire day.

I'm directing this towards the idiots who seem to think what a woman wears invites assault..  Despite the fact that it's already been shown assaulters go more for accessibility than dress attire.  Such as choosing someone covered head to toe if they were easier to get to than a woman in a bikini, or wearing skirt rather than the woman in a halter and short-shorts (because it's easier to get in skirts than shorts, even if it's complete coverage like the Amish).  Ponytails or long hair because they have something to grab them by, etc


Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 18, 2018 at 5:53 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 18, 2018 at 5:55 PM

.

FarscapeMama
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:00 PM
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you are still directing this entire conversation around men. There are PLENTY of female predators.

I said how I felt in the other post, but I'll repeat it here.

I don't care what gender, race, age, sexual orientation or privilege level you have or think you have, Even if someone is walking around butt ass naked -  Unless you are given EXPRESS VERBAL permission to touch someone in any sexual way,  just don't f**king do it!  It's common sense and just having respect for your fellow humans. 


If a man walks up to a woman and grabs her chest without her permission - That's sexual assault.

If a woman walks up to a man and grabs his crotch or gropes his chest or biceps without permission - that is sexual assault.

If a gay man walks up and gropes another man's ass - that is sexaual assault.

If a woman walks up and gropes another woman's ass - that is SEXUAL ASSAULT.


There is no grey area, only black and white here.  If someone touches you or grabs you or gropes you in an inappropriate manner without your permission or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or threatened- THEY are in the wrong.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:03 PM

Oh, I agree with you.  But like I said, the people who think this way, usually don't take women sexual predators seriously.  That's engaging in it's own way.  This was directed at those who think clothes are in any way to blame for it.  Because not once have I ever seen anyone blame a man being raped on him walking around shirtless. I'm trying to see if anyone can see the absurdity of their thinking by putting that out there. They will just say the "women aren't visual" shit to try and invalidate the question.

Quoting FarscapeMama:

you are still directing this entire conversation around men. There are PLENTY of female predators.

I said how I felt in the other post, but I'll repeat it here.

I don't care what gender, race, age, sexual orientation or privilege level you have or think you have, Even if someone is walking around butt ass naked -  Unless you are given EXPRESS VERBAL permission to touch someone in any sexual way,  just don't f**king do it!  It's common sense and just having respect for your fellow humans. 


If a man walks up to a woman and grabs her chest without her permission - That's sexual assault.

If a woman walks up to a man and grabs his crotch or gropes his chest or biceps without permission - that is sexual assault.

If a gay man walks up and gropes another man's ass - that is sexaual assault.

If a woman walks up and gropes another woman's ass - that is SEXUAL ASSAULT.


There is no grey area, only black and white here.  If someone touches you or grabs you or gropes you in an inappropriate manner without your permission or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or threatened- THEY are in the wrong.


FarscapeMama
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:03 PM

I didn't address it in my other response but that answer from the guy you asked - Actually a very common mindset amongst men. It's just gender stereotypes. That doesn't make it right, but from what it sounds, this was an older to middle-aged gentleman you asked or a very immature young man.

FarscapeMama
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:05 PM

It is very rare that people who have these sorts of views on the subject will actually stop and consider the facts in another way.  That sort of mindset can be dangerous and I've met plenty of people (including some women) who still think women are to be seen and not heard, belong in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant, and should shut up and only speak when spoken to. 

Quoting Anonymous 1:

Oh, I agree with you.  But like I said, the people who think this way, usually don't take women sexual predators seriously.  That's engaging in it's own way.  This was directed at those who think clothes are in any way to blame for it.  Because not once have I ever seen anyone blame a man being raped on him walking around shirtless. I'm trying to see if anyone can see the absurdity of their thinking by putting that out there. They will just say the "women aren't visual" shit to try and invalidate the question.

Quoting FarscapeMama:

you are still directing this entire conversation around men. There are PLENTY of female predators.

I said how I felt in the other post, but I'll repeat it here.

I don't care what gender, race, age, sexual orientation or privilege level you have or think you have, Even if someone is walking around butt ass naked -  Unless you are given EXPRESS VERBAL permission to touch someone in any sexual way,  just don't f**king do it!  It's common sense and just having respect for your fellow humans. 


If a man walks up to a woman and grabs her chest without her permission - That's sexual assault.

If a woman walks up to a man and grabs his crotch or gropes his chest or biceps without permission - that is sexual assault.

If a gay man walks up and gropes another man's ass - that is sexaual assault.

If a woman walks up and gropes another woman's ass - that is SEXUAL ASSAULT.


There is no grey area, only black and white here.  If someone touches you or grabs you or gropes you in an inappropriate manner without your permission or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or threatened- THEY are in the wrong.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:10 PM
Nobody deserves to be sexually assaulted. That’s all I have to say about it.
KitschyMeow
by Meowtyme on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:11 PM
2 moms liked this
A shirtless man certainly gets my attention, especially if he is good looking.....

Society has taught that a woman who dresses in revealing clothes, is a whore. I saw that mentioned in another post, but I am considering the source there. And women who dress revealing are looking for it.

Society has also taught men like to be chased by women (or men) and to take as many women as they can and want.

Until, those two views change, there is always going to be problems.

Men can be raped, by both men and women. Just like women can be raped, by both men and women. And rape isn't about how one dresses, it is about opportunity, taking advantage of someone weaker, and about power.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 18, 2018 at 6:12 PM

Idk. It's not something I've ever been able to understand. It would suggest every woman who's ever been raped or sexually assaulted was wearing little clothing, and that's just not the case. But I guess common sense doesn't work with those that believe this way. Maybe it somehow gives them some sense of security to believe it only happens to who they perceive as "whores". 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 19, 2018 at 4:44 PM
I see this as two separate issues that can intersect. The first issue is people looking to assault other people. If someone is sufficiently out to cross boundaries then they will do what they can to do it. So yes, they'd possibly choose someone who seems an easy target or use some other criteria for who would make a good target. And that brings me to the second issue, which is don't do something to make yourself a better target. Knowing there are those out there who are predatory, it's irresponsible to do something that could unnecessarily contribute to looking like a better target. Such as walking alone, going to a guy's house who you hardly know, and yes, wearing revealing clothing. As much as some women would like to live in a perfect world where everyone is a boy scout who helps old ladies across the street we don't. We live in a world where people sre predatory, appearances send messages about ourselves, and where a smart individual shouldn't put herself in a situation that is unnecessarily unsafe. It's like putting a steak in front of a wolf and then being outraged when he eats it. Don't make yourself bait. Assault can still happen and does still happen, and to me that's the biggest reason why a woman shouldn't advertise herself as a likely target by walking around in skimpy clothes that say 'here is my body'. That doesn't mean she deserves it, it just means she's foolish for tempting fate.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 19, 2018 at 4:48 PM
Ignoring human nature and biology by walking around naked and not expecting a reaction is ridiculous!
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