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Exdh financial choices erk me sometimes (vent)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 28 Replies
I wish I could blame his "extravagance" on him making up for being absent for more than half of ds's life but, I can not. He does things like this for the kids he stuck around for too...

Ds10 just had a birthday. Exdh is picking him up and taking him to celebrate.

He plans on taking him to ride go carts, a trampoline park, out to eat, and giving him birthday gifts+Christmas gifts (we had a death in the family so ds didn't see exdh for Christmas). He also wanted to get him a cell phone, to which I said no. I tried the cell phone thing last year, he proved he wasn't mature enough, so it will be put off at least another year.

In theory, no problem.

BUT...

He is behind in child support, again. He hasn't paid anything since May, and it was around $8 that he paid. He doesn't have a regular job. He sells scrap cars and splits the profits with other people who also help out. His wife works part time. They have 4 kids living in a small trailer, collect food stamps, and other assistance (no, I'm not against assistance, just stating facts because he is able to collect them since he works "under the table"). They eat fast food often, spend money frivolously, and even take little overnight trips here and there. Yet, he constantly complains about lack of money and "hard times".

I just want to tell him to shut up, suck it up, act like an adult, and be more responsible with his finances.

Alas, I do not. I keep my mouth shut because my son has been stoked since he came back in to his life.

It just annoys me.

Vent over.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2018 at 1:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 19, 2018 at 2:04 AM
2 moms liked this

I'd rather he pay child support and take the child to a free park than spend money he doesn't have

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 19, 2018 at 2:20 AM
Yeah, I totally agree.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

I'd rather he pay child support and take the child to a free park than spend money he doesn't have

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 19, 2018 at 2:21 AM
That's how I feel. My ds isn't materialistic or hard to please at all so I'm sure he'd be fine with it.

Unfortunately, exdh is a text book narcissist who's main focus in life is to appear as if he has things perfectly in order when, in reality, he's no where near having it all together.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

I'd rather he pay child support and take the child to a free park than spend money he doesn't have

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 19, 2018 at 2:23 AM
My feelings, precisely. Ds isn't hard to please and would be perfectly happy with that.

Quoting Anonymous 3: Yeah, I totally agree.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

I'd rather he pay child support and take the child to a free park than spend money he doesn't have

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 19, 2018 at 5:43 AM
Not really anything you can do about it. Sounds like you need to get used to supporting your kid by yourself.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 19, 2018 at 7:01 AM
I'm not sure why you're concerned about it at all. Just keep living better than he is.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 19, 2018 at 7:08 AM
1 mom liked this
He's your ex. His finances is none of your business.
If it's about child support, go through child support agency and take him to court.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 19, 2018 at 7:19 AM
Sounds like a pretty typical poverty/low income mindset unfortunately.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 19, 2018 at 7:22 AM
I'd be annoyed too! I hope you're able to get by without the child support!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 19, 2018 at 8:49 AM
Oh I've been used to it for years. Just venting.

Quoting Anonymous 4: Not really anything you can do about it. Sounds like you need to get used to supporting your kid by yourself.
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