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It is our choice how we live

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 66 Replies
My SO's parents are very religious and old fashioned. He and I are not. He and I moved in together 3 years ago. We have no desire to intention of getting married any time soon. It just isn't something we care about at all. SO has stepped in as a father to my kids. They love him. He loves them and he treats them no different than his own 2 kids (all 4 kids live with us full time. my 2 have no contact with their biodad at all. his 2 see their Mom like once a year). His parents refuse to aknowledge or accept myself or kids as part od the family. They keep telling SO that as soon as he does the right thing and marries me they will gladly accept us all with open arms but until then we are nothing to them. Which is their right. But SO has cut them put of his life for treating us that way amd trying to force the issue which is his right. And tbey are acting all shocked and heartbroken over losing him and his kids and blaming me for it. Tough shit.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 19, 2018 at 11:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 19, 2018 at 11:32 AM
Old fashion thinking. It's too bad. Everyone suffers.
EarlGrayHot
by Platinum Member on Jan. 19, 2018 at 11:33 AM
8 moms liked this

Why are they taking it out on YOU because you aren't married?  However, I don't understand this attitude that you don't care about marriage.  It's a lot easier and it allows you to make medical decisions about your spouse once you are married.  It also allows you to each make decisions about the other's children in the event of an accident. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 19, 2018 at 11:35 AM
2 moms liked this
It sounds like you’re all more mature than my two year old! But that’s it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 19, 2018 at 11:37 AM
1 mom liked this

This is so sad. People lose family members because their beliefs are different. Why cant people accept that they have a different belief than someone else and leave it at that.

I wouldnt have much to do with his parents until they treated all the kids the same.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 19, 2018 at 11:39 AM

I can see both sides. Things get tricky with live in boyfriends and girlfriends when kids are involved. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 19, 2018 at 11:41 AM

Sad.  But they too have the choice of how they want to live.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 19, 2018 at 11:42 AM
I don't have any interest in ever being married again and neither does he. We like things just the way we are.

Quoting EarlGrayHot:

Why are they taking it out on YOU because you aren't married?  However, I don't understand this attitude that you don't care about marriage.  It's a lot easier and it allows you to make medical decisions about your spouse once you are married.  It also allows you to each make decisions about the other's children in the event of an accident. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 19, 2018 at 11:43 AM
Yeah. We have cut them off for all intents and purposes. Christmas was the last straw. They invited him and his kids to Christmas dinner and made it clear my kids and I werent welcome. He refused to go and has decided he is done with them.

Quoting Anonymous 4:

This is so sad. People lose family members because their beliefs are different. Why cant people accept that they have a different belief than someone else and leave it at that.

I wouldnt have much to do with his parents until they treated all the kids the same.

GrayDuck41
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2018 at 11:43 AM
Good point.
When children are in the picture, it’s a good idea to marry. And you’re right about the legal aspects too .


Quoting EarlGrayHot:

Why are they taking it out on YOU because you aren't married?  However, I don't understand this attitude that you don't care about marriage.  It's a lot easier and it allows you to make medical decisions about your spouse once you are married.  It also allows you to each make decisions about the other's children in the event of an accident. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 19, 2018 at 11:46 AM
We don't share any children at this point and may or may not in the future. I don't see why that should have any bearing or whether or not we ever get married.

Quoting GrayDuck41: Good point.
When children are in the picture, it’s a good idea to marry. And you’re right about the legal aspects too .


Quoting EarlGrayHot:

Why are they taking it out on YOU because you aren't married?  However, I don't understand this attitude that you don't care about marriage.  It's a lot easier and it allows you to make medical decisions about your spouse once you are married.  It also allows you to each make decisions about the other's children in the event of an accident. 

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