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Not THIS time BM

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 296 Replies
My SO's ex likes to try to pawn the kids off on her weekends. Like every single weekend she is supposed to have them. 9 times out of 10 SO will just take them because he enjoys the extra time with them. Somtimes I don't mind but every single weekend is becoming too much and I talked to SO about it. He agreed that they are supposed to have 50/50 custody so she has every other weekend to do whatever the Hell she wants to. She needs to spend the other weekends with the kids or else find a sitter. Since we haven't had a weekend to ourselves since the beginning of Nov (no Im not kidding) SO promised to stand his ground this weekend and we made plans for tonight. We are going to have a nice dinner, watch a band, and walk around down town and do some bar hopping. Of course, BM called bright and early this morning wanting to drop the kids off this afternoon because she "has plans". SO told her so did we so she can either change her plans or find a sitter herself. She is pissed and being whiny and she keeps texting him that we are "ruining her life" and "don't ever want her to find a man to spemd her life with ". She seriously sounds like a pouting teenager. SO is ignoring her. LOL
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2018 at 12:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
crowdsourcerer
by Bronze Member on Jan. 20, 2018 at 12:14 PM

If she's forced to take the kids when she doesn't want them, and is a seemingly self-centered person uncaring of what her actions might feel like to the kids, I would be concerned about her being awful to them when they are with her. 

And if the kids get wind accidentally or by the tension in the air that neither you guys nor their mom wants them, wow. That can't happen. 

Given that concern, I'd take them usually, and push back now and then - for example:

On the weekends when you want to say no, can you suggest instead her taking them just one day & night? THat might seem more doable for her. 

Do the kids have friends whose parents you like? Do you have family that you see often and like? Could either of these be options for a night or day away for the kids?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2018 at 12:16 PM
9 moms liked this
She needs to handle her own responsibility during her custodial time. He pays her cs based on her having them half the time. If she wants to have them live with us and just take visits now and then she can do that and the child support can stop. Then we will get a sitter whrn we want to go out and leave it at that. But if she wants custody to stay as it is and to get her check every month, she needs to woman up and handle her reaponsibilities.

Quoting crowdsourcerer:

If she's forced to take the kids when she doesn't want them, and is a seemingly self-centered person uncaring of what her actions might feel like to the kids, I would be concerned about her being awful to them when they are with her. 

And if the kids get wind accidentally or by the tension in the air that neither you guys nor their mom wants them, wow. That can't happen. 

Given that concern, I'd take them usually, and push back now and then - for example:

On the weekends when you want to say no, can you suggest instead her taking them just one day & night? THat might seem more doable for her. 

Do the kids have friends whose parents you like? Do you have family that you see often and like? Could either of these be options for a night or day away for the kids?

blessed107
by Diamond Member on Jan. 20, 2018 at 12:19 PM
Enjoy yourselves today. I wouldn't give her a second thought.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 20, 2018 at 12:20 PM
13 moms liked this
Do you have kids? I’m laughing at the night to ourselves since Nov because we haven’t had one since Oct and that’s okay with us. We’d rather have the kids with us. Before Oct it was probably a year or so.

While BM is being ridiculous I think it’s okay to ask if dad wants them if she wants to make plans. I’d rather have my kids than them being with a sitter.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2018 at 12:20 PM
1 mom liked this
I think we are going to just block her for the day lol.

Quoting blessed107: Enjoy yourselves today. I wouldn't give her a second thought.
corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 20, 2018 at 12:21 PM

What are her plans?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2018 at 12:22 PM
I have one kid and she's 15. She has her own plans for the night. Once on a while wpuld be no big deal but not every single weekend. Before she started this crap we would go out every other weekend consistantly when the kids were at her house. Im not into staying home all the time.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Do you have kids? I’m laughing at the night to ourselves since Nov because we haven’t had one since Oct and that’s okay with us. We’d rather have the kids with us. Before Oct it was probably a year or so.

While BM is being ridiculous I think it’s okay to ask if dad wants them if she wants to make plans. I’d rather have my kids than them being with a sitter.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 20, 2018 at 12:22 PM
5 moms liked this
I don't agree with her obviously, but I think it weird crazy whatever that You're complaining about your partner's children being there all of the time. That's how a normal home would be. Want to go out, grab a sitter.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2018 at 12:23 PM
She never elaborates but I assume some guy asked her out because she is whining so much about us ruining her chances at finding a boyfriend.

Quoting corticosteroid:

What are her plans?

grannie_kel
by Platinum Member on Jan. 20, 2018 at 12:23 PM
6 moms liked this
That's what happens when people have kids, their time alone on weekends is cut down. I understand that she should have her time with them also but doesn't want it. Now the kids have dad not wanting them either. That sucks for them even in this situation. Why put the kids through knowing neither of their parents want them when a solution of getting a sitter for you to have a night out is so easy, like intact parents do?
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