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Former step kids *update*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 237 Replies

My dh was a step dad to his exs older 2 kids for 7 years. After they split he still saw them but barely. Now that the kids are getting older they want "their dad" to be involved in things. The thing is they have an actual dad that is very much involved in their lives. I understand still loving him and wanting him in their lives but he cant be there for everything. He isnt with their mom anymore and has moved on. He is and always will be there for everything for his bio kids though. He wants to drop things for our kids together to go run and be involved with the former step kids. It frustrates me and no im not bitter. Like i said its fine if hes still in their lives but he cant do everything for them anymore. Even his daughter is annoyed by it because he missed something for her and went to his former step daughters event instead. Would this bother you or am i wrong for thinking the way i do?


Former step kids ages 13 and 10 ( they were together since her oldest was 3 and youngest a few months old, they broke up when they were 10 and 7, the oldest is the one that wants him around the most)

His bio kids 8 and 6 (his kids were 5 and 3 when they split)

Our kids together 2 and 6 months (we got together 6 months after they split up, together 3 years, married 1) 


Update: DH and I talked and i told him again how its wrong to ignore his bio kids for the former step kids. He tried to start with the guilt thing and i told him he will have double the amount of guilt if he puts the 4 bio kids last. I said i know our 2 are young but dont you want them to have memories of you and not just me. He said yea and that he was sorry. I said dont tell me sorry show me. Spend more time with your kids and less with your ex wifes kids. He said he feels bad for them because their mom wont attend any of their things and while their dad will he always brings his gf and the daughter doesnt like her. While that sucks he cant take over being their parent for their mom. She needs to do it. I now realize though that if she wont do it for the older 2 she wont do it for her younger 2 so ill end up doing it if dh is working. Which i dont mind doing but shes their mom and should want to do it. I have a feeling dh will be getting full custody eventually because she doesnt seem interested in parenting. Dh said the older 2 also have to do a bulk of the younger 2's care while on their moms time. Thats not fair to them at all. I feel for these kids but their parents need to step up. My dh cant do it for them. He can be there every once in awhile and love and support them but he cant be their full time parent. Its a sad situation overall and i wish things were different but i cant do anything for dhs former step kids. I hope their mom wakes up and becomes a better mom for them. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 23, 2018 at 4:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 23, 2018 at 4:29 PM
2 moms liked this
Ooooomg shut up with these bull crap posts
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 23, 2018 at 4:30 PM
1 mom liked this

I think he needs to move on. Especially since they have an involved dad. I wonder what he thinks of all this. It's like he's overcompensating or really does prefer his step kids over his bio kids. I'd be annoyed. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 23, 2018 at 4:32 PM

I dont know him so i have no idea. i know they had 50/50 custody when dh left. ive tried talking to him and he just says he was in their lives for so long he feels like a parent still but if that were the case he would have seen them right after they ended their relationship but he didnt. he saw them maybe once or twice and it was in passing not something planned. 

Quoting Anonymous 3:

I think he needs to move on. Especially since they have an involved dad. I wonder what he thinks of all this. It's like he's overcompensating or really does prefer his step kids over his bio kids. I'd be annoyed. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 23, 2018 at 4:38 PM
3 moms liked this
You don't have to respond to them. Lol I never understand people who get so butt hurt about someone else's post. Just simply hit the back button, babe.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Ooooomg shut up with these bull crap posts
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 23, 2018 at 4:39 PM
What do you think has changed that?

Quoting Anonymous 1:

I dont know him so i have no idea. i know they had 50/50 custody when dh left. ive tried talking to him and he just says he was in their lives for so long he feels like a parent still but if that were the case he would have seen them right after they ended their relationship but he didnt. he saw them maybe once or twice and it was in passing not something planned. 

Quoting Anonymous 3:

I think he needs to move on. Especially since they have an involved dad. I wonder what he thinks of all this. It's like he's overcompensating or really does prefer his step kids over his bio kids. I'd be annoyed. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 23, 2018 at 4:41 PM
6 moms liked this
I wouldn't have gotten involved with someone with that kind of baggage. Previous bio children is one thing, and an issue in itself. No, I'm not sitting around alone with our kids so he can go play daddy with someone else's kids. That would be more than annoying, I'd be gone.
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Jan. 23, 2018 at 4:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Not sure why their real father is even ok with this.  he must not be that involved

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 23, 2018 at 4:49 PM

Are you his mommy?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 23, 2018 at 4:51 PM

the kids asking him to come around more. i think it made him feel guilty or something

Quoting Anonymous 4: What do you think has changed that?
Quoting Anonymous 1:

I dont know him so i have no idea. i know they had 50/50 custody when dh left. ive tried talking to him and he just says he was in their lives for so long he feels like a parent still but if that were the case he would have seen them right after they ended their relationship but he didnt. he saw them maybe once or twice and it was in passing not something planned. 

Quoting Anonymous 3:

I think he needs to move on. Especially since they have an involved dad. I wonder what he thinks of all this. It's like he's overcompensating or really does prefer his step kids over his bio kids. I'd be annoyed. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 23, 2018 at 4:54 PM

like i said he barely saw them after they split. so i didnt have to deal with that. once we got pregnant with our 2nd he started being more involved with the former step kids. im annoyed but i dont want to split up my own family over this 1 thing. that would hurt my kids even more. 

Quoting Anonymous 5: I wouldn't have gotten involved with someone with that kind of baggage. Previous bio children is one thing, and an issue in itself. No, I'm not sitting around alone with our kids so he can go play daddy with someone else's kids. That would be more than annoying, I'd be gone.


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