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Change my name cuz his girlfriend wants me to?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 258 Replies
My ex and I have been divorced for 7 years. we were married for 6. I took his last name when we got married and, since we had kids with that last name, kept it when we got divorced. It was never a problem, he understood why and didn't care. Honestly, even if he had cared I would have kept it but it was nice that it wasn't a point of contention.
A little background,
He was never an involved dad even when we were married and had no desire to parent our kids, especially on his own, when we divorced. He even willingly signed away visiatation and custody rights in the divorce. Any and all visitation since our divorce (usually a few times a year) is, by his choice, meeting at a public place for about an hour or so.
I got remarried 2 years ago. My kids were excited and love my dh, they see him as their own dad since bio dad basically bowed out when we got divorced. But when I was going to get married they expressed concern that I would have a new family with my dh and any kids we had because we would all have the same last name and they would be different. I promised them that that would never happen and told them I could have both last names so everyone could be included together. That made them really happy so I kept my first married last name and hyphenated it with my new married last name.
Like I said my ex sees the kids for an hour or so every once in a while. He has a serious gf that doesn't like kids and doesn't want to meet his so she's important in his life but not a part of the kids' lives. Well his gf just so happens to have the same first name as me. He told me last night that he wants me to drop "his" last name because his gf doesn't like that I have it & wont consider being long term with him because she doesn't want the same name as me.
I was nice and didn't mention that I don't give a fuck what his loser ass or his gf want lol. I didn't mention that it would cost me hundreds of dollars and a trip to the courts, the social security office, the DMV, my bank, etc to change my name on everything. I simply told him that I had promised the kids I would keep their last name because they wanted me to and I wasn't going to go back on a promise I made them. I did tell him that the kids have asked about changing their last name to my new married last name and that if he was willing to agree to that I would drop my first last name in a heart beat. He was pissed and said I'm being a bitch and he would take me to court. Which isn't true cuz he's always broke and couldn't afford that plus he's over $20k behind in cs which I haven't reported to the courts and he's terrified of me saying something and him getting in trouble so I know he's bluffing. He keeps saying it's so wrong of me to steal "his" last name. Bitch, I've had this last name for 13 years, it isn't yours! He just keeps telling me I'm wrong and I'm a bitch.
So, ladies of cm, am I wrong and am I being a bitch? Or is what I promised my kids more important than what a dead beat and his gf want?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2018 at 1:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
awelling
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2018 at 1:49 PM
6 moms liked this
I would have laughed. You can have whatever name you want.
DensHag
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2018 at 1:50 PM
1 mom liked this
Screw him and his GF. I wouldn’t change anything.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 28, 2018 at 1:51 PM
Nope. The name is legally yours. Him and his girlfriend have absolutely no say or right to demand you change it.
jws120567
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2018 at 1:51 PM
1 mom liked this

He's a jackass.  You went to a LOT of trouble to change your name to his when you got married, and you're right, it's expensive to do it again!  However, if he'd like to give up parental rights and pay you to make the change, then let him.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 28, 2018 at 1:52 PM
1 mom liked this
Nope. I did not drop his last name in divorce because we have 3 minor kids together including one who is only 7. I may hyphenate my maiden name with it if I get remarried because I can't take my fiancés last name seriously. (Bell)
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 28, 2018 at 1:53 PM
I would have told her that this is my name. Get over it.
MonarchMom22
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2018 at 1:53 PM
2 moms liked this

Anytime this comes up just say "I am not discussing this."

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 28, 2018 at 1:54 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't change it, either.  I hated growing up with a different last name than my mom

PinkButterfly66
by Diamond Member on Jan. 28, 2018 at 1:56 PM
11 moms liked this

I'd have told him to stop being a pussy and tell the girlfriend to grow the fuck up. And I'd turn his child support arrears into the court and have his wages garnished.  Once the girlfriend realizes he has less money, she'll be history anyway. Bastard should be caring more about his kids than some girlfriend.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 28, 2018 at 1:57 PM
1 mom liked this
Keep your name! It became yours when you got married. His GF is crazy, she will get over it. My sister in law and I use the same first name, actually my middle name and she was pissed when I took my DHs last name, because she and I now have the same name on Facebook.... seriously she was kissed over Facebook... lol
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