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Dont get mad at me for telling you the truth

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Today during dhs lunch break he was telling me about a dream he had last night. I guess in the dream we had sex. He said I (as in him) enjoyed the sex part but the rest was weird. I read it too fast and was busy with the kids and read the word I as the letter U and i said well im glad i enjoyed the sex atleast. He said you enjoyed it? what you dont now? I told him my mistake and told him he was being defensive. He then tells me he doesnt think i enjoy sex anymore. So i was honest. I told him i dont exactly enjoy how soon he gets off. He got quiet after that and stopped messaging me. When he got home he was in his whiny stage and wouldnt look at me or tell me whats wrong. Then we talked and he said he wants me to want sex like i use to. Ive honestly never wanted sex. In the beginning of our relationship i just did it for him. I said i wanted it how it use to be too where he lasted forever and didnt act like he was dying half way through. He will stop half way through and clutch his chest like hes having a heart attack. If he would lose some weight and eat healthier he would be fine. He wont and thats his problem. Am i suppose to fake it and act like hes the best lover ever? i suck at faking things. idk what to tell him other than to grow the fuck up and figure out his own issues. 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 6, 2018 at 4:17 PM
Replies (161-163):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 29 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 3:43 PM
You owe me a minute of my life back for reading this shit.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

Today during dhs lunch break he was telling me about a dream he had last night. I guess in the dream we had sex. He said I (as in him) enjoyed the sex part but the rest was weird. I read it too fast and was busy with the kids and read the word I as the letter U and i said well im glad i enjoyed the sex atleast. He said you enjoyed it? what you dont now? I told him my mistake and told him he was being defensive. He then tells me he doesnt think i enjoy sex anymore. So i was honest. I told him i dont exactly enjoy how soon he gets off. He got quiet after that and stopped messaging me. When he got home he was in his whiny stage and wouldnt look at me or tell me whats wrong. Then we talked and he said he wants me to want sex like i use to. Ive honestly never wanted sex. In the beginning of our relationship i just did it for him. I said i wanted it how it use to be too where he lasted forever and didnt act like he was dying half way through. He will stop half way through and clutch his chest like hes having a heart attack. If he would lose some weight and eat healthier he would be fine. He wont and thats his problem. Am i suppose to fake it and act like hes the best lover ever? i suck at faking things. idk what to tell him other than to grow the fuck up and figure out his own issues. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 9, 2018 at 4:11 PM

rolling on floor

Quoting Anonymous 29: You owe me a minute of my life back for reading this shit.
Quoting Anonymous 1:

Today during dhs lunch break he was telling me about a dream he had last night. I guess in the dream we had sex. He said I (as in him) enjoyed the sex part but the rest was weird. I read it too fast and was busy with the kids and read the word I as the letter U and i said well im glad i enjoyed the sex atleast. He said you enjoyed it? what you dont now? I told him my mistake and told him he was being defensive. He then tells me he doesnt think i enjoy sex anymore. So i was honest. I told him i dont exactly enjoy how soon he gets off. He got quiet after that and stopped messaging me. When he got home he was in his whiny stage and wouldnt look at me or tell me whats wrong. Then we talked and he said he wants me to want sex like i use to. Ive honestly never wanted sex. In the beginning of our relationship i just did it for him. I said i wanted it how it use to be too where he lasted forever and didnt act like he was dying half way through. He will stop half way through and clutch his chest like hes having a heart attack. If he would lose some weight and eat healthier he would be fine. He wont and thats his problem. Am i suppose to fake it and act like hes the best lover ever? i suck at faking things. idk what to tell him other than to grow the fuck up and figure out his own issues. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 28 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 7:19 PM
As expected, you missed the point. 🙄

You’re not teaching him how to be sweet to you by telling him to do something or nagging. Actions speak louder than words. Treat someone well, and they in turn will treat others well.

It’s not all on you, but let’s be honest, you have not put in your best effort all these years, either. Most people don’t. Most people just expect things to go swimmingly without any real, true work necessary to keep things running smoothly. You have given up just as much as he has given up.
Unfortunately, you cannot control what he does or the choices he makes. You can only control yourself and your own choices. So that’s what you should do.

Choose to do more to make him feel loved, cared for, and adored. Figure out what fills his love tank. If it’s physical, then yes, you help fulfill his physical needs. You keep talking about what you are NOT getting from sex, but not once have you mentioned what you ARE doing for HIM. You’re obviously not satisfying him either since you feel you need to fake things.

You say he has changed, but your original post states you have changed, too. You either figure out how to live with the changes and find happiness, or you go your separate ways. If you constantly play the “ he/she doesn’t do this or that” blame game, neither of you will ever be happy. Stop focusing on what he does wrong and start focusing on what he DOES RIGHT! Your train of thought is completely skewed. Even in regards to sex. Always entering something with a negative mindset will always return negative outcomes.

If you take the time to change how you view things and how you truly treat him, he will most likely make some changes as well. It will take some time though. Nothing happens overnight. Attitude is, more times than not, everything.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

ive had many talks with him about this. trying to "teach" him how to properly be a husband and father and that doesnt work. i guess we can teach them to be assholes but not sweethearts. go figure! he was a completely different person when we first got together so my expectations were high. Then we started having kids and he went down hill with the last 2. in the beginning it wasnt anything like it is now. that was before 5 kids, its way worse now. why is it all on me? i dont get it. am i suppose to force myself to sleep with him so i get a more involved parent for my kids? i mean really. he has to have his dick played with in order to be a good dad. thats pathetic. 

Quoting Anonymous 28: Well, you’ve taught him how to treat you. We all teach others how to treat us.
Your expectations have never been high, so he doesn’t need to try. You said you also have never liked sex, and just did it “for him.” So, you did a little false advertising of your own in the beginning.

When it comes to relationships, we get what we give. You half arse it, so in return, so does he. You want better? Then YOU need to do better.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

well maybe if he treated me better and was a father to our kids i would want him. would you want a man that goes to work and then comes home and sits on his ass playing video games? doesnt help with the kids and doesnt do anything to help me. We have 5 kids. who the hell is going to want us that doesnt have kids themselves? im not playing step mommy when i have my own daycare full of kids to take care of. 

Quoting notalice420:

Men don't just want sex. Most people (male and female) want to be wanted. Affairs happen because people want that payoff of having someone admire and want them. 

That can happen even if you're having sex. Can't imagine why both of you would be in a relationship that sounds like absolute hell when you could have something better but it's your life. 

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