Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I thought I wouldn’t be here.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My ex dh saw me as a gravy train and I let him. I was injured and received a settlement before we were married. I used that money to buy him out of trouble over and over again. I paid to fix things he damaged when he was angry. I paid to bail him out when he got in an accident with no insurance. I paid his child support when he wouldn’t. And my step kids medical bills and health insurance when he and their mother both refused to step up and take care of it. I paid for him to get his GED and to go to college. Provided him with vehicles when he got bored with his and destroyed them. So many other things.

It was always something.

But I saw it as investing in my husband, in our marriage, in our future. I saw it as investing in our children. I saw it as doing what any good wife would do. And I told myself he would do it for me too.

Well... then one day I realized it was almost all gone. And I absolutely panicked. I actually started thinking of things in terms of “well I won’t get to go to SD’s graduation next year, the money will be gone and I won’t be here.”

I literally believed he would kill me when the money ran out.

And I believed I deserved it. Because I would become worthless to him, so he should.

That’s what it was like being married to him.

Now I’m flat broke. I work 3 jobs just to support my kids. Ex fell off the face of the earth and doesn’t bother with them. But I’m here. And I remember that there was a time when I literally believed that this day, this time, didn’t exist for me. No way I’d live to see 2018 if I didn’t have money to keep paying him off.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 8, 2018 at 7:44 PM
Replies (51-54):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:45 PM

Oh sweetheart. The things we do under the guise of doing whats best for our kids will always come back and bite us in the ass if it's wrong. 

My ex was a lot like that, except we didn't have money. 

Live and learn, it's only money. It comes and goes. 

Quoting Anonymous 1: I swear on my life and all that I can I genuinely believed I was doing what was best for my kids for a long, long time. Until I didn’t.
Quoting Aolekeia:

You were completely lying to yourself.  I’m sure you knew from the beginning this wasn’t investing in your children.  You put his fuckery over your children’s future.  The way not to repeat mistakes is to be completely honest with ourselves and learn from them.  I’m glad you moved on from that asshole, but you were just as much to blame.  You have your life and your beautiful children’s lives.  Own it, learn from it, and most importantly forgive yourself.  Get help and really learn to love yourself.  Good luck to you mama!


Sans-Equanimity
by Closet Optimist on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:55 PM
Not even close in my opinion, because here you are, away from him, living your own life, working your butt off for your kids. That's not even close to pathetic in my book.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Pathetic I think is a better word.

Quoting mojogirl: This is so sad.
ilovemykids323
by on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:58 PM

I am glad you are here and i'm glad you aren't in that situation anymore.

NHOPE127
by Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 4:21 PM

Wow. That sounds like a tough lesson learned.  I know it felt like the right thing to do and you really thought that he would do the same for you.  Unfortunately, not everyone thinks that way and you had to learn that lesson the hard way.  I'm so sorry that you are having to work so hard to provide for you and your kids now.  I just hope you know that you are worth more than any amount of money.  Don't let someone else's greed make you feel like less of a person. You are worthy, with or without money and someone will recognize your value one day too.  Keep hope.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)