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Is phone sex cheating and should I tell my boyfriend

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
So last night my x boyfriend and I were talking last night and I do have a boyfriend who I am happy with. Last few days I have tired different ways to give him hints about what I wanted but has not been getting so I went to talk to my x about it last night and he said how he would make love to me again and I started to use my vibrator and we'll I had a orgasm which felt so good since my current boyfriend and I have not made love since beginning of Jan. I feel so bad about it and wondering if I should tell current boyfriend what I did or just not. The x and I are just friends. He lives 3 hours away so it's not like I can just go over and see him.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2018 at 12:26 AM
Replies (31-36):
by on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:39 AM

You aren't ready for another boyfriend. 

You think you could tell your current boyfriend that you cheated on him by having phone sex with your ex-boyfriend but you can't stop dropping 'hints' and just speak up and tell him what you want and need?  Right... 

by Sapphire Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:41 AM
Yes it's cheating

Some advice, men don't do hints. They need to be told straight out
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 11:32 AM

It sounds like cheating to me.  You used interaction with your ex to get off instead of being intimate with your current bf.  (I won't get started on extra-marital or pre-marital sex and what I think of that.)  The fact that you can't just pop over and jump your ex's bones any time you want doesn't mean that it's not cheating.  I would consider it cheating if my DH did that.

Now, that's my relationship.

If you want to figure out whether it's cheating for your relationship, then ask yourself how you would feel if he did the same thing.  (w/o using the excuse that you've done it before so you understand).  Think about how you would feel if, for whatever reason, you didn't/couldn't have sex with him for over a month, and then he was talking to his ex-gf about that (complaining about your not having sex with him for weeks on end to his ex), and while they were on the phone, she started talking to him about having sex with him, and then he started jacking off.  Would you consider that cheating?

Now the telling part.  I would say no.  If my DH cheated on me to any extent, as long as it was like once and not something that went on for a long while or whatever, I wouldn't even want to know.  I kissed another man once (well, I kissed him more than once, but it was a short period of time).  I never told DH and I never will.  The reason: It's over, it was over before it started, it was wrong, I'm sorry, and I have  never and will never do it again; therefore, I see no reason to just hurt him for the sake of hurting him.  If I did do it again, then I would tell him; I think it would only be fair for him to know, so that he can decide what to do about it.

So, you have to ask yourself whether you would want your bf to tell you, if the roles were reversed.

If you want to break up with your bf or you want him to break up with you, so that you can go back to your ex, then I would definitely tell him!

by Member on Feb. 10, 2018 at 9:46 PM

Would you think it was cheating if it had been your boyfriend and his ex gf?  and would you have wanted him to tell you?

by Anonymous 16 on Feb. 11, 2018 at 1:25 AM
You sound like a cheating brat. You haven’t had sex in a month because you are acting like a child. Children shouldn’t have sex. Of course you wanted to get off. Maybe try speaking to your bf like a grown up. Stop bringing your problems to your ex. Since you did, you cheated. Use this as a lesson. Tell your bf because he should know what you are doing and let him decide what he wants to take from that.
by Anonymous 17 on Feb. 11, 2018 at 1:27 AM
It is cheating but don’t tell. Sounds like it might be time to end the relationship you are in.

Quoting Anonymous 2: No. Shut up about it.
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