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She had a meltdown, and I can't stop laughing

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
DD, 28 is a little off center, think Sheldon Cooper. Everything is black and white, if you say something she always takes it literally.

She has been in therapy and behavior classes her entire life, she is as "normal" as she is going to get.

She lives at home and pays rent. We don't need her money, but it's the Principal. She paid rent last night and I said great, now I don't have to go to the ATM, dad and I are going away for the weekend.

She melded down, saying no, that money is for bills. After all this time, I still get a bit surprised at the situations she doesn't understand and the things that upset her.

I told her from now one, she can pay the cable and electric bill. I'm kind of setting her up, because once she realizes the amount isn't the same each month, she will be upset. Haha
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 9, 2018 at 7:20 AM
Replies (91-99):
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 9:59 AM

I got that she enjoys the struggle.  Thats not ok.  I dont put things in boxes.

Quoting msjaxon: Laughter is a perfectly acceptable emotional response to surprise. She stated she is still surprised at what can cause her to have issues. My nephew is 7 and is like this. Its annoying but sometimes you have to just laugh, other times he gets life's tough kiddo. Things aren't always going to fit into your idea of a box.
Quoting survivorinohio:

I didnt say she didnt have treatment I said you do not treat her appropriately.  My dd is 32 and has always had problems as well.  Laughing isnt ok no matter how you choose to rationalize it.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I accept it, and she has been treated. For 25 years. This will teach her a lesson without me spending many many hours trying to explain. She has to learn by experiences. She is always been this way, she has to touch it, see it, before it's real.
Quoting survivorinohio:

Sounds like you wont accept and treat your daughters disability appropriately .  I feel bad for her.  My dd has serious issues and it can be tough, i would never enjoy her struggle.

How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong.  Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these.  GeorgeWashingtonCarver

by Anonymous 23 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:01 AM
Well aren't you just lovely
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:04 AM
That's probably what I would have done. Dd must think she's paying towards bills. So let her continue to think that. But I had an ex who always had to be right. After we divorced I finally realized.. you know this is stupid. If he wants to think our godson is nine instead of ten who cares? He doesn't see the kid anyway. Some things really aren't worth the struggle. But I do see the humor in this stuff. If you don't you'll go mad.

Quoting Anonymous 20:

Why not just say okay, and drop it?

by Anonymous 24 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 10:05 AM
My ss is like this. When I first moved in with dh he would meltdown because I refused to live by his crazy regimented schedule when he was over. My boyfriend at the time (now dh) was free to follow the schedule if he wished but I wasn't doing. Ss lost his mind when I was eating and it was't time eat and then again when I turned on the tv and it wasn't "tv time". Seeing the way he reacted opened dh's eyes and he grradually stopped following the schedule himself. It took a while but ss adjusted to not having a strict schedule here and eventually ss stopped freaking out over it.
by Diamond Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 1:50 PM

I would have said, oops, you're right.  I guess I'll have to go to the bank tomorrow after all.  Then don't go.  

by Anonymous 25 on Feb. 9, 2018 at 1:56 PM
Life lessons? Anything that you failed to teach her by now, it’s to late for you to teach.

I will say based on what you posted the problem may be the teacher not the student

Quoting Anonymous 1: Why? Because I handle things with humor? This kid had driven me to be in a corner, holding myself, crying. I have to keep trying to teach her life lessons.

Quoting Anonymous 2: I can see why she's been in therapy so long.
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 2:54 PM
Omg you ladies are over reacting. If she carter to her dd issues you would be bashing her for not teaching her what real life is about.
by Anonymous 26 on Feb. 10, 2018 at 12:53 PM

I think it is great that you want to teach your daughter life lessons and help her develop some flexibility in her thinking. This is a great goal. I wonder how realistic it is at her age though. The natural fluctuation in the gas bill may be helpful in developing some of that flexibility.You may want to think about how you can build in other activities that require flexible thinking into her daily routines as well. I wonder if this is really your motivation or if you might like to create anxiety, frustration, or a negative reaction in your daughter. It sounds like deep down inside you may be taking a little pleasure in creating difficult situations for your daughter. Only you can really answer that, but I pray that God gives you insight and directs the course of your instruction, so that it really is beneficial to your daughter.

by Ruby Member on Feb. 10, 2018 at 12:55 PM
This is your daughter? Jesus. Do her a favor and get her her own apartment.
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